Cool Cat, pen and ink on graph paper, doodle © 2008 by ybonesy. All rights reserved.
There are a lot of reasons I’ll be keeping my cool over the coming days, but the one that tops my list is that by the time you read this, I will either have completed or be on my way to completing a 16-plus-hour flight (one stop for fueling, after about 13 hours, I believe). Egads. That’s enough to make anyone lose their cool.
But not me. I’m a road warrior of past, not to mention panic attack pills. Here are the cool-cat techniques you can be sure I will be exercising during that walk in the park:
- Pull inward. Conserve energy, stuff earphones in my ears, and don’t talk much to people around me. A while back I flew about 13 hours in business class next to one really cool cat—the kind whose touch pad computer never died—without once saying Hello. Can you believe it? He was so cool he actually pissed me off. That and his full head of wavy hair and the fact he was ten years younger than me.
- Become self-sufficient. Have everything I need at my fingertips, including aspirin, extra clothing, toothbrush, latest memoir I’m reading, all my writing and drawing stuff. Everything.
- Be stealth. Don’t stand out. I don’t want to become a target for anyone.
- Act like I know what the hell I’m doing. Goes with not becoming a target. Walk with confidence, especially on the streets.
- Be comfortable. Dress in loose clothing, easy shoes, layers for when it gets overly hot or cool.
- Stay cool-headed. I once unwittingly picked the movie The Ring to watch after lights out. Very well-done movie, all was going along beautifully until suddenly I found that my heart was racing and my palms sweaty. Looked to my left: man sitting next to me was fast asleep. To my right was complete stillness, everyone alseep. I forgot that I never watch horror movies by myself, much less while trapped in a plane hurdling through complete darkness somewhere over the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Fortunately, I managed to breathe through it.
I’ll be off-line for a while, but knowing me, it won’t be too long. In the mean time, if you have any tips for keeping sane on those long flights (if Heather’s reading this, well, em, hyperventilating is not a good tip) please drop them here. I might need them for the way back.
Oh, and if you happen to see a slinky, sleek, smooth chick prowling the streets of Vietnam, well, let’s just say I wouldn’t approach her and ask, Are you ybonesy?
Ta-ta for now.
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