Something about the time of year we got married. Thick of the summer. Vacations and camps and just plain heat stroke, but Jim and I recently forgot, again, our wedding anniversary.
This is a streak now. Multiple years of forgetting. No flowers. No gift. Not even a card.
It started with our fifth, which we “celebrated” by watching a water softener demonstration. We should have been out having a nice dinner; instead we were standing at our kitchen sink thumbing a stream of water as if it were fine silk. “How does that feel,” the Culligan lady asked, and we both ooh’ed and aah’ed at the velvety softness of our normally hard water. She must have thought we were a sure sale.
Truth was, we had no intention of buying a water softener. We’d been duped into the demonstration. One day a man called saying he was conducting a simple, one-question survey. “Are you concerned about water quality,” he asked me. “Yes,” I told him, which was true. I was worried about water. And air, and just about anything having to do with the environment. Next day Jim got a call from a woman who said “Your wife is concerned about the quality of your water.” So there we were, playing polite hosts to Lady Culligan and hoping the promised gift — a griddle — would, at least, make it worth our trouble. (It didn’t. The “griddle” turned out to be a thin metal disc that fits over a burner; it’s only use so far as I could figure was to heat flour tortillas.)
We’ve probably forgotten every anniversary since, with one exception. Last year, our 15th, Jim got me the bride-and-groom-on-moped card and a big wooden box from Mexico with saints painted in bright colors. I’m sure he didn’t realize that crystal was the traditional gift for the 15th wedding anniversary, wood for the fifth. Or maybe he was making up for the griddle. In any case, I loved the box; I use it to hold my watercolor paints. I didn’t get him anything being as how I didn’t break my streak.
I’m kind of glad we’re both back to forgetting this year. And, apparently, we picked a good one to forget. According to the people who keep track of such things, once you pass the first 15 years, traditional anniversary gifts are only given for years that end in five or zero. So, it’s not like I missed out on china (20th), silver (25th), or pearls (30th). Although these days retailers have come up with the concept of “modern” anniversary gifts to fill in the in-between years. Hollowware (as opposed to flatware) is what one gives for the 16th. To which I say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”
We did eventually both remember it was our anniversary. Around noon on the big day, Em jogged our memory by asking what the date was. Jim and I laughed as soon as it hit us. Well, here’s to another 16 years! Hopefully we’ll remember one or two along the way.
This makes me chuckle. And now that I’ve met Jim, I have an even more vivid picture of you both laughing as it hits you that you’ve forgotten again. BTW, what in the world is Hollowware? Am I the only one in the dark?
Liz and I always forget the date of our anniversary. Not the month, but the actual date. There were a few milestones for us all around the same time. And so we always ask each other, “Hey, now, is it the 16th, 17th, or 31st?”
We missed it again this year and, yes, we laughed, too. And we just counted on our fingers, sitting on the couch here – we are at 4 years, 2 months. I can hardly believe it. So it looks like wood for the 5th? What was the 4th?
I made it home safely. It is so good to be home. It’s hot and humid in Minnesota, too. I love being back in the land of lakes. But I already miss New Mexico.
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Hey, glad you’re home! Dee was thrilled with the cool candy, btw, and then Em, too, when she saw you’d left one for her!! Where’d you get those? We hadn’t seen them before.
I should have included a link for Hollowware. Here it is now:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/hollowware. But the quick answer is that hollowware is stuff like bowls or serving trays — tableware that’s not flat. Go figure!
This problem you and Liz have remembering the actual date reminds me of any birthday year I have that doesn’t end with a 0 or 5 or 1 or 9. For example, when I turned 43, I couldn’t remember if it was 42 or 43 or 44. Same thing happened in my 20s and 30s. Somehow when I visualize those numbers, I see them all as a blur.
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BTW, here is the gift table for traditional and modern anniversary gifts:
http://www.findgift.com/Anniversary-Table/
Year 4 is fruit/flowers. I like that.
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Oh, so glad they liked the candy! Actually, Liz picked it out when I was still in Minnesota. We stopped to get a few last minute things at Walgreen’s and Liz said, “Hey, you should bring something for the girls!” Then we searched the shelves and she thought those were really cool. I liked leaving them secretly. It was fun. 8) I sure enjoyed visiting with you. What a treat.
Ah, now I understand Hollowware. Tableware that’s not flat. Okay, gotcha.
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Fruit and flowers – now that kind of fits for us this year. Thanks for the table for anniversary gifts.
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I am new to the blog and was browsing around and read this exchange on anniversaries. We are celebrating our 50th in August. A year ago, we began thinking about it — really ought to do somethng special. Our children actually took interest, too — never have paid attention before. They wanted to go somewhere where everyone in the family could find somethng they liked to do. We finally stepped in and said we’d like to go someplace that had some meaning for US (not Las Vegas or San Diego). We are renting a large cabin with lots of bedrooms and a kitchen and porch on a lake in Michigan– for a week (near where we honeymooned). Yesterday, we started thinking about what we want to do: read a book together? make a book of photos and memories to give each family member? Play games? Learn some trendy dance? Play with Playdough? Watch movies? Create a journal of the week, everyone contributing thoughts, drawings, photos (bring a printer)… “tech time” to learn about texting, the new iPhone, camera on our phones, etc.
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Sounds like a lovely plan. Maybe you can paint retablos together ; – )
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BTW, we’d better NOT miss our 50th. That would be taking things too far!
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every year i have given my husband something from the traditional or modern list and he loves it. one year it was leather and i got him a pair of shoes. this year we are celebrating our 18th and i haven’t been able to find any thing on any list. are there any list that have the 18th year?
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Well, there is no traditional gift for Year 18, but from the site that touts Perfect Anniversary Gift Ideas (http://www.perfect-anniversary-gifts.com/16th-20th-gift-ideas/18th-anniversary-gift-ideas.html), here are some suggestions:
-The grace and aesthetic appeal of porcelain truly symbolizes the 18 years of togetherness
-Choose a coffee mug for him, proclaiming ‘the best husband in the world’
-Present her with a gift certificate for a ceramic class! Or, better yet, take the class together. If you have children, make it a family affair.
-Make the occasion extra special, choose an identical pair of his and her rings featuring a beautiful cat’s eye stone
-Surprise her with an 18th century sculpture, to add to her existing collection of porcelain figurines
-Record your favorite songs on a CD and present it to him in a beautifully decorated porcelain box
-Go shopping together for a porcelain dinner set in bold designs and colors
-Present her with simple porcelain beads earrings that naturally add to her glowing looks
-Order an anniversary cake from your local bakery. Ask them to place 18 candles on it.
I especially like the one associated with 18th century and thought maybe an 18th century piece of art or furniture.
Have fun, and good for you for doing the research.
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ybonesy, this is so cool. Great research. Porcelain is such a good idea for the 18th. I love porcelain in its raw form. I used to make hand-built clay tiles to use with my photography and once I experimented with porcelain clay. It’s the most sensual stuff on the planet. Soft and fine and cool. To imagine a gift imbued with the sensuality of porcelain seems like a perfect gift.
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May 17th marks the 8th year anniversary of my life with Liz. According to ybonesy’s link above, the 8th year is for bronze and pottery. I guess we are right on track because Liz surprised me with a starter set of Fiesta Dinnerware! (She found it on sale for half price.) I’ve been craving a set ever since I saw my brother’s last year when I visited him in Pennsylvania. He has a rule that you have to mix and match the colors when you sit down for dinner, which I follow. Even more fun!
You can watch a cool video of the history of the potters making Fiesta Ware at this link – The Homer Laughlin China Company (LINK) (click link then scroll down to bottom of page). Liz and I are celebrating by going to the casket Arts Building studio and setting up for Art-A-Whirl, maybe lunch at Emily’s. It’s a beautiful May day. I am fond of celebrating anniversaries; they make me feel grateful for all the good relationships in my life.
Happy Anniversary, Liz! And thank you for all the support you have given me over the years, including keeping red Ravine up and running! Here’s to many more.
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