By Louis Robertson
This list is a work-in-progress and represents some of the lessons life has taught me. I started it as a “gift” to my children and wanted it to be something they could return to again and again to help put things into perspective and to add focus to their lives. QuoinMonkey, whose opinion I have always trusted, encouraged me to share it with a larger audience. I agreed hoping that the readers of red Ravine may find something in this they can use.
Things I Wanted You To Learn
1 – As long as you remember me I will stay alive in your memories. You are my legacy, my magnum opus.
2 – I am very proud of the person each of you has become. Although I did not say it as much as I felt it, you are the source of my joy and pride as a father.
3 – You can achieve anything! If you can imagine it, you can do it, but it will take hard work. It will not come easy, but if you believe in your ability to achieve, know you have the desire to see it through and persevere, then it can happen. Oh, and a good plan helps.
4 – Everyone has worth! Even the marginalized — especially the marginalized — have something to contribute to your life. You need to work beyond the visceral feelings, put yourself in their place, and look for the lesson.
5 – You are constantly being presented with opportunities to learn and grow. God doesn’t give things to you, rather he allows opportunities to be presented to you and it is your responsibility to recognize them, learn from them, and grow.
6 – Don’t get stuck in the past. What happened, happened. No amount of rehashing, bitching, complaining, or wishing will change the fact that it happened. Look for the lesson and move on, but understand that sometimes it may take years for the lesson to present itself to you.
7 – When someone has the ability to really irritate you, either by their actions or beliefs, step back! Try to identify what is bothersome and put a new face on it. For example, that person who is always butting into your conversations? Ask yourself, What purpose does this serve to them? Are they lonely, feeling marginalized, friendless, or just trying to get noticed? Then wonder what their self worth may be to have to do this to feel alive, noticed, or a part of something. Maybe even wonder how things must be at home for them. Now ask yourself “How can I help them feel better about their life?” But also remember, sometimes people are just jerks.
8 – Always remember that you are loved and have a large family to fall back on when things are tough. Don’t be afraid to ask for help; it is not a sign of weakness. It took me 43 years to realize that allowing people to step up and take some of the burden from me is often a gift to them.
9 – Remember the lesson I taught you as a kid about power. You have a reservoir of power that you control. Be stingy with who you give it to. That kid that knows he can make you mad by calling you fat is taking away some of your power. To get it back you need to be aware of your reaction and change it. This will not only help you with your personal interactions but is essential when trying to break a cycle of reactionary behavior. Once you fall into a pattern, the pattern will repeat itself until something changes. Changing your reaction will make the interaction more real and will cause you to look at it from another perspective. Once you change the pattern it will either fall apart or create a new trigger to a new pattern. Listen to that little voice that says, “Why do we always have the same argument over and over?” and use that pause to look for the pattern, and then change it.
10 – Make at least one person smile every day. Find something to compliment them on. Do something unexpected for them. Tell them they are important to you. Some days it may be the catalyst that changes their lives or the start of a chain reaction of passing the smile on. When you are given the choice, make a positive impact rather than a negative impression.
11 – Challenge yourself to be the best person you can be! Don’t settle for okay, strive to be great! Do each task to the best of your ability. Make it a game or a challenge. Don’t just do the job to check it off a list, do it so you can stand back and say out loud, “I did that!”
∞ ∞ ∞
About Louis: Louis Robertson (R3) is a divorced father of two teenage children who lives in South Central Pennsylvania. His day-to-day life centers on his children and teaching them about responsible living. He earns a living as a computer systems consultant.
Louis has experienced medical challenges since he was a teenager. After his first liver transplant in 1993, his perspective on life became more focused and his appreciation for the little treasures life grants increased. When he learned he needed a second liver transplant, his focus moved to preparing his family and children for a future without him. He now is a candidate for a third liver transplant and lives his life watching for life lessons he can pass on to his children.
Thank you for this, Louis, and a big thanks to your children for allowing us at red Ravine to publish something that was originally intended just for them.
I have read through the list, as you say, a work in progress, three times now. This last time what struck me was how you have managed to hit on the right lessons in life, the most keen messages.
As an artist and writer, someone who wants to actualize my dreams, #s 3, 5, and 6 stand out. And I will have my daughters read all of them, but especially right now, this moment in their lives, #9 is something that I have not been able to express in the way that you have. The lessons of power are critical to learn at a young age.
I also have to say that I’m struck by how much of your life philosophy is shared by my father. He had a very hard life as a child and young man, was an orphan by the time he got to his teens. He was left alone with his brother to figure out how to survive. And both he and his brother are optimists, which boggles my mind given the adversity they confronted. They both had and continue to have a philosophy that we are not victims of our circumstances, but rather, we shape our own destinies. And many of your gems of wisdom seem to fit that core philosophy.
It makes me wonder, is optimism an innate personality trait one has that then leads to this kind of insight, or does optimism evolve out of one’s circumstances?
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yb,
I am glad my children allowed me to share this list with your readers. I know that like anything we write people will take away the lesson(s) that strike a chord at that moment in their lives.
Number 9 came about over time when my kids were in elementary school. When they would come home upset because someone said something hurtful I found that I could not answer the question, “Why do they do that?” instead I had them look at their actions and reactions. We came to the conclusion that they were actually in charge of the situation because they could control how they reacted. Over time I presented it to them as “ball of power” that they had full control over. This is a lesson we still visit even though they are now in their teen years.
I feel honored to be compared to your father and his philosophy on life. In your previous posts I can feel the love and respect you have for him and I am humbled by the comparison. This philosophy was not born out of a “eureka” moment but developed over time.
I like the end to your comments because I have wondered that myself. I do believe that it is probably not one or the other but a combination of both.
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Louis, my gratitude to you, too, for publishing your list with us. I’ve always been inspired by your courage and optimism. And the strength of your children as they have moved through all of this with you over the years.
I think even when you were younger, you were inclined to look at things through a more optimistic lense. But the challenges you’ve faced with the liver transplants have taken that to new levels. You have often inspired me to want to live every day, each moment as important as the next.
You know in your bio when you say “preparing his family and children for a future without him,” it just chokes me up. But also has taught me so much about living. I’ll never forget right before your 2nd liver transplant (you didn’t yet know when you’d receive a liver), I was at home in PA and spending time with you.
I don’t know if you remember but we drove through a beautiful spot in the Pennsylvania mountains and had ice cream at an ice cream shop. And you told me the things you wanted me to know in case anything ever happened to you. It was a kind of preparation – but also a loving moment between siblings. A lasting connection.
I think you did that with every member of our family and in that way really left us with some peace. I’ve always appreciated that. Can you remind me when the year of your second liver transplant was? I should know, but find the older I get, the more the years all blend in together as life.
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QM,
Having you as my big sister has been a blessing in that I can bounce things off of you as a kind of sanity check. I remember that drive well and often look back on it with a sense of peace because I knew I let you know the important role you have played in my life.
My first liver transplant was on May 21, 1993 and my second one was on August 6, 2003. Those days are as important to me as my own birthday because they represent my rebirth. The dates are also bittersweet because they are are the dates that the two families started grieving the loss of a loved one. One promise I made to myself is that I would live my life in remembrance of them and will make every effort to honor their death through my life.
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Did you ever meet the families of the individuals whose livers were donated to you, Louis? I hope that’s not too personal a question. Also, I imagine there must be a whole lot of factors, emotional and otherwise, that go into wanting or not wanting to meet, on all sides. Any particular lessons learned in that process?
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Thanks, Louis. I think that’s a good way to put it, a rebirth. Another chance at life. But as you say, it also represented the loss of life for two other families. I know I learned so much about organ donors from you. And as in ybonesy’s question, it’s a good one to impart knowledge upon. I think everyone in our family became organ donors after you got sick. I wouldn’t have it any other way now. Hope you’ll share more about that process.
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yb and QM,
I never had an opportunity to meet the donor families. The process is designed to protect both the donor and recipient in that neither knows much about the other. All I was told was that my first donor was a 21 year old male and the second was a 56 year old female.
If the donor or recipient wants to contact the other they would have to contact the Organ Procurement Organization (OPO) – CORE for Western PA and Gift of Life Donor Program – for that area and request contact. The OPO would then contact the donor family/recipient to ask if they are interested in being contacted. Any correspondence would filter through the OPO and if both parties wanted to meet then the OPO could facilitate that contact. Out of respect to my donor families I have not initiated contact but would have welcomed any contact they were interested in making. To date I have not been contacted by either family.
That being said I have met several donor families over the years and have been able to tell them how important their decision was to my family. I let them know that their loss was a life saving decision for me and that my son would not be here if it were not for their unselfish decision to allow the organ donations to occur – my youngest was born in 1995, two years after my first transplant. I also tell them that every day I think of the donor and say a prayer for their family.
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Louis: you are a good father. Thank you. Thanks, too, for sharing your “11 Things”. I am glad you are alive to share your own reservoir of power with all.
I have a close friend who in April donated a kidney to a complete stranger. Here is her story:
http://www.sassistas.com/sassistas_our_dish_on_the/2009/06/i-donated-a-kidney.html
Her account is written with the direct wisdom on display in your list. Forgive me if I overstep bounds a bit by quoting a line from “Schlindler’s List” that occurred to me after reading your post: “The list is life.”
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Thank you Louis,
I think it’s the little things in life that prepare us for the big things. I wish the world were flowing over with people that had your perspective and insight. It would be our saving grace. Your children are very lucky to have you.
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Hey Louis…I think what you wrote is fantastic. I hope all of us can be the best we can be, no matter what. Life is tough and we must make it work for us. When I lost John, my life was kind of, in limbo. But with my family and God I’m doing okay. I went to the shore with Annette and her famil y and had a nice time. There will always be a void in my life but I’ll make it and you can also.
Love you
Janette
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Flannista,
Thank you for your comments, they gave me chills and brought me close to tears. It is a blessing to hear from others that I am a good father. That is one think I have always tried to be.
Thank you for the link to your friend’s story. Having lived as a recipient it is always enlightening to see through the eyes of a donor. I know that my transplant was the catalyst for many of my family and friends becoming organ donors. I would have given anything to be able to say, “Thank you for our decision to donate your loved one’s organs. I willing accept the responsibility that comes along with this gift and will live my life honoring their memory.” But I know that like Carole my words would be a shadow of the depth of my feelings regarding the difficult decision they made and the blessing it has been to my family.
I agree with the quote, “The list is life.” fits this list well. This list is the yardstick I use to measure my life.
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anuvuestudio,
Thank you for your kind words. I feel blessed to have such amazing children. They have read this list as it was being developed and understand why this project is so important to me. I am amazed by their strength and love.
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Thanks for responding R3.
Your list is immeasurable, by the way. A yardstick doesn’t begin to gauge it.
God peace to you.
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Flann, I thoroughly enjoyed Carolyn’s account of donating a kidney to a stranger. It provided another perspective on the topic of organ donation.
Louis, because of privacy wishes, I can’t reveal everything, but one of our loved ones is gravely ill. Not my kids, nor Jim, but a close family member. There is so much to resent and hate about the illness and the injustice of it, but there is also a gift. That gift has been perspective, seeing things in a new way, letting go of pettiness, having a chance to say the things you want to say and do the things you want to do.
You have told your children that you love them and passed on to them what you know. Similarly, I know that I am loved by this person. She has told me over and over. Each time she tells me again, I brush it off, tell her not to say it because I know that by saying it she is also telling me good-bye. Little by little.
But I just had this thought…have I told her everything I wanted to tell her? I don’t think I have. That just dawned on me.
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yb,
Now is your chance. Accept this time as the gift that it is. Too often we poo-poo the thought of telling someone how you really feel about them and soon you miss your opportunity. As strange as it seems death is a part of life and like every important thing in life you need to prepare for it.
I learned a long time ago not to put qualifiers on the health related experiences I have had. To look for a reason, justification or to even make sense of the “Why me?” kept me from accepting where I was and learning the lesson that was waiting for me. I choose to accept that “It is what it is!” and then maked plans to make sure those close to me knew how I felt about them and knew that I at peace.
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Louis, I can’t begin to let you know how much I appreciate you & the tears flowed as I read this. 1993 seems so long ago. 2008 seems so long ago too. Without you & your help I’m not sure I could have survived last year. Your writing is a testament to the person you truly are.
You have done a remarkable job of raising your children, in spite of the health issues. You are the glue that holds the family together & whether you realize it or not I am proud to be a member of the family.
Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom. I’m glad QM convinced you to share.
J & I still have an uphill battle to deal with, but you handle situations with such an appreciation for life & again, I want to thank you for being the great person you are. Your list is so you. Thank you for letting loose & sharing with those of us who visit redRavine.
All my love…D
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Louis,
it is amazing to read about all the ways you have touched others. I count myself among those who have been blessed by knowing you, and by being welcomed into the family. As we cram as many lifetimes into whatever time we have, i reflect upon how much i love you, and how much the kids mean to me. Watching them grow and mature, watching them express themselves as adults while still adolescents allows me to see the influence you have had with them. You are a good father.
Once, you told me that the transplant process is hard for you when you see how hard it is on those who care for you. When i am feeling very emotional about all that this entails, i find that it is because i am being selfish, and have allowed my focus to move away from serving others to thinking of the impact on myself. I try to practice remaining in a selfless space, which you make seem so easy. I admire your strength, diligence, and patience, which i hope is rubbing off onto me.
I am grateful for the opportunity to love you everyday. Thank you for posting and allowing all of us to tell you how you have touched our lives.
-me
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D, J and reccos62,
You are all very dear to me and I will continue to tell each of you face-to-face how much you mean to me. I am touched that you posted your feelings in such a public forum and revel in the love and good will that emanates from your in support. I feel blessed to have all of you in my life.
Louis
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Louis, you know what really strikes me about reading the comments on this post — is the love. And how much grief is a form of love. I’m reminded of how when someone we are close to is chronically ill, we actually have a chance to begin a mutual grieving process that is very powerful. So many tender comments.
ybonesy, we’ve been sending prayers to you and your family. Your comment about telling your loved one everything you want her to know — what a good point to bring up in this discussion. The mutual exchange of gratitude for having walked this Earth together for a time.
Louis, one other thing I am reminded of when I read this is how important good healthcare is when one is chronically ill. That’s the time we need it the most and one of the times when we are most at risk of not having it or losing it.
I remember visiting after your second transplant right after you came home from the hospital and there was a mountain of drug bottles on the table, all things you need so that the liver doesn’t reject the body, for pain…I don’t even know everything they all do.
But I’m aware that you really studied up on all the medical angles of your illness and kept on top of the medicines and procedures. I always admired how much you took charge of your own health and kept going, staying as informed as you could during the whole process.
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R3 & QM, it’s amazing how the people we love come together in times of need. We were there for both R3’s transplants & while he was in the hosptital the first time, helped in painting & getting his home ready for his return. R3 is a remarkable person. I wish I had his attitude about life. Live each day as if it’s your last. Without him, I could not have made it through last summer. There he was, morning, noon, & night. He & Daddy got me through times that I thought I would fall apart. But their strong attitudes & faith helped me & I can never thank them enough.
I think reccos62 said it all in her comments. Louis is so loved by all of us & his wisdom & approach to life are what make him so special. We love you, Louis, from the heart. D & J
yb, I wish you well with your family member’s health issues. Having just lost my favorite Aunt & seeing her in the casket, cold & looking absolutely beautiful. Kissing her cold forehead & knowing she was out of pain & finally found peace, made me feel better. It was tough, but I rarely made a trip home without visiting her. I’m so grateful for that. I’ll send good energy your way & light a candle to to send the feelings your way. D
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Louis, your post was amazing, but I can’t say I am surprised that is so. I will add these timeless pieces of advice to the many I have already learned from you throughout the past few years, whether or not you realize you were passing such lessons along. I hope to start seeing life as more of a gift than simply a period time to muddle through, and I will have you to thank for pushing me in that direction. You are the very definition of how life should be viewed and lived. My words just aren’t flowing the way I would like, so I will end this here. Just know that you are loved.
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This may be the most I’ve expressed about this topic in too long. Painful as it may be, I don’t need to hide my feelings about my father.
While many of these comments note the remarkable things my father has mentioned in his post, to me, they are his normal. His lessons have been instilled in me for a long time, so much so that I no longer notice when I relate the anger caused by another to the “ball of power” we discussed so many years ago. It is part of my “coding” now, however, upon seeing it condensed, I realize the magnitude of his fathering.
My father has repeatedly informed my brother and I that we come first to him. Often I notice he puts us before himself. At these moments, I am overcome by my pride in my father, in being his daughter. (I feel the same pride when told of our resemblance.) His commitment and kindness drives and inspires me. My father’s unfailing “open-door policy” has allowed us to tear down all the walls that can exist between parent and child. Absolutely nothing is off-limits topic-wise between us, which is a privilege I take advantage of but also take for granted. (It also has provided an innumerable quantity of strange and memorable conversations)
It is terrifying to think of the possibility of his death. Again, emotions can overwhelm me upon the thought. I consider my father to be a part of me, or perhaps I am a part of him. Regardless, I see his passing to be a hit unto myself.
Quite awhile ago, Post Secret posted a secret stating “I’m scared he won’t live to see my wedding day.” I long for the security that my father will walk me down the aisle to a new chapter in my life. I want him to see his grandchildren. I need him in my life. I feel like the world will be cheated if disease took away such an amazing man, as would he. At the same time, my father may not be the man he is today without having experienced what he has due to his illness.
I wish to be someone my father can lean on, hopefully of equal strength as he has been for me for the entirety of my life. I also wish to let him know that words cannot convey the profound effect he’s had on my life.
I love you will simply have to do.
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Wow, I am overwhelmed with emotion and need a little time to put into words the feelings I have towards this community, my family and especially my daughter. After reading the comments last night I had been looking for the words . . . but after reading my daughter’s post I am finding it hard not to tear up with every word I write.
Please be patient with me as I gather the strength and words to express my gratitude.
R3
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Louis, thank you for responding. And please take your time! I totally teared up when I got up and read your daughter’s response this morning.
To my niece, you are wise beyond your years. And so articulate. Thank you for pouring your heart out in your comment. I was so moved by that.
diddy, I was thinking about what you said in your comment about how the family comes together during times of crisis. I am reminded of last summer with J. and how each person in the family gave in different ways, whatever they could manage.
I remember one brother chopping up trees in the yard on a sweaty summer day when Mom and I just happened to drive by and see him. He was dripping with sweat. And how Mom drove you to and from the hospital every day. Others cooked meals or helped clear the yard. It’s good to remember that people give in different ways when people are sick or during crisis. And it’s okay that they are different.
Louis, one of the things on your List – #8 about having a large family and not being afraid to ask for help – I was glad to see that on there. We all tend to be so stoic sometimes and think we can do things all alone. But the truth is we need our communities and our families to help us through when we struggle. Yet they don’t know what we need if we don’t directly ask them.
I’m proud of the way our family has always responded in times of crisis. And am also aware of how stressful it can be for all involved. Yet we all deal with it in our own ways. And, as you keep saying, it’s part of life to work with what is presented to us.
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Tears here, too. Wise father, wise daughter. Shouldn’t be surprising, yet still so amazing to witness.
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Louis, more tears here as well. As I read your daughter’s comments it makes me proud that you have had the open door policy with all of us & especially your children. They are both very informed & last year were a big help to J & myself. Her comments blew me away, but I shouldn’t have expected less from her. As diffcult as it was to read her words, I’m actually glad that she came forward. I thought about how small she was during the first transplant & how she stayed with us & then the trip to Pittsburgh. When I see her, I see what a beautiful & insightful person she is. QM is right that she is wise beyond her years.
QM, yes, all of the family was here last year, doing the yardwork etc. I also appreciated that Mom & you would spend day after day with me at the hospital. This is a strong & caring family. I love each & everyone of them.
Louis, you have been on my mind all day. I found it hard to think about anything but you. J has not read our niece’s comments yet., but he will after Brant leaves. I tried reading them to him, but got too choked up to finish.
I’m most likely done commenting on this post. Just too difficult.
All my love again…D
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Louis, you must be a wonderful father. You have a perspective not too many of us have. As a mother of two teenage sons, much of what you have on your list would be on mine too. Now that I’ve read your words, I think I need to make my own list to share with my kids. Thanks for the prompting, and best wishes to you.
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Louis, hope all is well this weekend. Thinking about you today. And I wanted to say thanks so much for sharing your list with us on red Ravine. Though impending death is something we don’t talk about in our society, ancient societies honored and celebrated death as a part of life. I find conversations and comments, like those in this thread, to be healing. And through the discussion, all of our lives are honored.
I am so happy you are my brother and I’ve gotten to experience your many gifts one-on-one. You teach by the way you live. I hope you’ll stop back into this post once in a while to see how much people appreciate that you took the risk of posting your list.
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QM,
I agree that I have been overwhelmed but the love and support I have been getting from this post. What started out as a way to touch others has actually turned around and touched me deeply. I think I am getting more from the comments your readers posted than what I hoped the list would give to others.
I think that when we are dealing with someone who is chronically ill we must realize that time is of the essence and we should take the time to make sure our feeling are shared. That will help with the grieving process and will help to reduce the feelings of “I wish I could have told them how I felt but now it is too late.” My friends and family have been a wealth of support in my illness and I have tried to be there for them as they sorted out the feelings of helplessness and grief.
Regarding the medication, it becomes a part of the new routine. I went into this with as much information as I could and was not afraid to ask the doctors questions about what they were doing and why my body was reacting in certain ways. I took charge of my health care and made sure I was a big part of the decision making process at all steps. That is what I felt I needed to do in order to maintain some control over what was being done to my body.
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D,
Thank you for your comments. I can not tell you and the family how much it meant to have you in my corner through both transplants. My daughter was only 1 1/2 years old when I had my first transplant and I remember her climbing up into the hospital bed wanting to snuggle. It was difficult because of all the tubes, stapes and drains but we found a way to do it. I was relieved to know that she was in safe hands while the rest of the family shuttled back and forth between home and Pittsburgh. Being there for J was something I really didn’t have to think about, he is my brother and he needed me. So I was there for him and you as was QM and the rest of the family.
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Scaramastra,
Your words were perfect. I appreciate your kind thoughts. It is flattering to think that my past posts contained lessons for you and others. My responses are from the heart and represent what works for me. I try to use the points in this list as a way to remain on track for my life.
One of the hardest things I had to deal with early on with my first transplant was to not get caught up in what I called “the apathy of life”. I worked hard not to get so caught up in the mundane day to day tasks we have to attend to which can so often cause us to lose our true focus. When I found myself following the routine of wake, work, eat, sleep, wake, work, eat, sleep . . . . I would shake off the apathy and try to do something for someone else, take a walk, write a note to someone I haven’t connected with in awhile and meditate on the gift I was given by my donor family. Even today I find myself at that point where I need to shake things up to get myself out of the rut I have fallen into.
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daughter,
Words can not express the pride I feel every time I read your post and I fight back the tears each time. You and your brother are my pride and joy, you are what keeps me focused and fighting to see this through another day, week, year and yes another transplant. It is heartwarming to hear from you that the lessons have been heard, considered and integrated into the young woman you have become. I am also glad to hear that the lessons have become your norm because they set high expectations for life.
I agree that the openness I have tried to instill on you and your brother have brought many funny moments and memorable conversations. I am very happy to know that nothing is taboo in our conversations. It gives me a sense of relief to know that your comfort level is so high that you don’t have to hesitate to ask me any question, be able to blow off steam or seek my advice on touchy subjects.
Your Post Secrets message is one that I have thought about for a long time. I would give anything to be able to walk you down the aisle, play with my grandchildren, and see you experience life and I hope that this wish comes true but with the life of my transplants dwindling, and the uncertainty of getting another transplant I have to make sure I have done all that I can to prepare you in case I will not be there. That is the hardest thing I have had to do as a father but it is something I must do to have peace and to try and bring you some peace.
I am here for you and I have no doubt that you are there for me too. I love you and am honored to call you my daughter.
Daddy
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christine,
Thanks for your comments and best wishes. I am glad that this has prompted you to start your own list for your children. It will be a gift that they can carry with them and will help them redefine you as a mother and mentor. Wishing you the best.
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Beautifully written. It is clear to see what kind of a parent R3 is from this insightful list of lessons left behind for his children, even as a work in progress!
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Thoughts and prayers out to my brother tonight who is feeling under the weather.
across all the miles
not far and never closer
than we are right now
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I’m thinking of you tonight, too, Louis. May Godspeed recovery.
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My brother is expected to come home from the hospital tomorrow. 8) He sounded much better on the phone tonight. I called and MOM and gritsinpa were there visiting. Still sending warm and healing thoughts his way.
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[…] Louis has experienced medical challenges since he was a teenager. After his first liver transplant in 1993, his perspective on life became more focused and his appreciation for the little treasures life grants increased. When he learned he needed a second liver transplant, his focus moved to preparing his family and children for a future without him. He now is a candidate for a third liver transplant and lives his life watching for life lessons he can pass on to his children. He shared some of those lessons in his piece on red Ravine: Things I Wanted You To Learn. […]
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