Close Gates, elevator shaft outside Diamonds Coffee Shoppe, Minneapolis, Minnesota, June 2008, photo © 2008-2009 by QuoinMonkey. All rights reserved.
On Friday, February 27th, 2009, I became a national statistic — I lost my job. Like most writers, I write for a living. I also have a part-time bread and butter job that helps pay the bills. In January, when all of the temporary employees at the corporation where I worked were laid off (except me), I saw the writing on the wall. A month later, after a 5-year stint at a company that paid well, offered independence, flexibility, and respected my work, poof! I was gone. Monday of the same week, 45 permanent employees got the ax; some had been there 25 or 30 years.
In Minnesota alone, 55,000 people lost their jobs over the last year, a staggering number that, according to one news station, could fill two Metrodomes. The second week of March, when I put in my claim for unemployment, the Minnesota Unemployment website crashed from the volume of new claims. It’s predicted that 72,000 more Minnesotans will lose their jobs through 2010, including 15,000 in construction, 42,000 in manufacturing, and 15,000 in professional and business services.
Of course, Minnesota is not alone. The national unemployment rate was 8.1 percent in February 2009, seasonally adjusted, up from 7.6 percent the prior month and from 4.8 percent a year earlier. In February, total nonfarm payroll employment decreased by 651,000 over the month and by 4,168,000 from a year earlier. According to a CBS article at the WCCO website (a local news channel that has also experienced layoffs) the February job loss numbers look something like this:
February 2009 U. S. Job Loss Numbers
Temporary help services ……………………………78,000
Factories ………………………………………………168,000
Construction ……………………………………………104,000
Retailers …………………………………………………40,000
Professional and business services ……………180,000
Financial companies ……………………………………44,000
Leisure and hospitality firms …………………………33,000
At times, I’m scared. Some nights I can’t sleep. And the reality of not having steady income slips into my thoughts on a daily basis. It puts added strain on my relationship, even though I have an understanding partner who is loving and supportive. Responsibilities shift, and any part of my identity that is wrapped up in what I do for a living takes a beating. The structure of my life has completely changed.
I had to create new daily rituals to keep myself from spinning. I spent the first week unemployed scrambling to make changes to money-related items I used to take for granted: research guidelines around continued health insurance, apply for unemployment, reduce payments on my car insurance by checking with my agent about a different policy. I updated old copies of chronological, functional, and artistic resumes. I’m still working with the temporary agency that on the very day I was laid-off, closed their nearby office and consolidated to downtown Minneapolis.
Yet I remain optimistic. The flip side of the coin is that I’m a writer, an artist and photographer, with all the usual complaints about not having enough time for my creative pursuits. Now I do. I have been given the gift of time. What will I do with it? Will I be tossed away, fret and fume, worry that I don’t have a job? Or see it as an opportunity, a gateway to reinvent myself, to focus on my writing.
It depends on which day you ask me. I realize there are probably many other red Ravine readers who are going through layoffs, are stressed-out or down about money. Not knowing how they will pay their mortgage or put food on the table. What about people who have been out of work for many, many months. Or have taken jobs they would not ordinarily take, just to have money coming in.
How do you deal with the pressures of not working (or working but not making enough money to make ends meet). Is there anyone who has been laid off, lost their savings, posted their resume 1000 places and gotten no bites. If you are a writer or an artist, how are you coping with extra time and no money. Is it easier to work on creative projects? Or harder because of the stress. How is it affecting your children. What about health insurance?
When I start to feel crazy, my practices help sustain me: red Ravine, Writing Practice, mandalas, haiku. It’s helpful to get up at the same time, shower, get dressed, and eat lunch at noon. I do business related items, then have time to write, refill the well, revisit creative projects. But that nagging Monkey Mind. What if I’m in the same place months later?
Open Gateway, in the flow, Summer Solstice, Minneapolis, Minnesota, June 2007, all photos © 2007-2009 by QuoinMonkey. All rights reserved.
The unemployment rate is predicted to peak out around 9.5 percent next Spring. Yet the state of Colorado shows a decline in layoffs for the first time in 6 months. It’s true that 91.9% of the population still have their jobs. And a few areas such as education, health services, and government, which boosted employment last month, have been spared. F. Scott Fitzgerald might say that a “vast carelessness” has caused this money mess. But maybe there is a silver lining. Is the glass half empty or half full? What do you say?
Resources:
NPR Announces Cuts To Staff, Programs
MPR Midmorning: February Layoffs Take a Toll
U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics: Mass Layoffs in February 2009
WCCO U.S. & World: Unemployment Hits 8.1 Percent, Highest Since ’83
Denver Business Journal: Mass Layoffs Decline in Colorado for 1st Time in 6 Months
-posted on red Ravine, Tuesday, March 24th, 2008
-related to posts: WRITING TOPIC – JOB! WHAT JOB?, Make Positive Effort For The Good
I say, Holy Sh*t, QM! I’m so sorry. Honestly, that’s my first response. My second response is that the writing in your post is so brisk and urgent. I didn’t stray for a millisecond, even from the stats. I think it’s because you achieved that balance between this being all about you and not being all about you.
As a writer and artist, you are perhaps experiencing a “severe mercy” which is my way of begrudgingly acknowledging a half-full glass (my instinct in most challenging situations is to assume the half-empty worst). Though I am not unemployed right now, I have experienced times in my career when I had little work (I am self-employed) and it is indeed frightening. But often that fear drove me to write. I may have lost a lot, but I still had my pen and a piece of paper, didn’t I? Even though I had no partner and was living alone, I didn’t feel alone because of that pen. It’s always been silver, by the way, which may be the silver lining.
All that being said, the radical in me wants to rise up like Norma Rae and stand on a factory table with a hand-written sign that says, “HIRE QUOINMONKEY!! YOU’RE FRICKIN’ CRAZY IF YOU DON’T!!” In addition to Norma Rae, the Sigourney Weaver of “Aliens” comes out in me when someone I care about has experienced what I perceive as injustice.
Bottom line, if I had the money, I’d hire you in a heartbeat. Continued peace to you.
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Flan, thank you. Such a heartfelt response! Funny, too. I’m just getting up this morning and going about my new “manufactured” routines. Structuring my time is so important. I get up even on days I want to sleep in. I pack a lunch for Liz, something I used to always do for both of us in the morning when I worked, I send her out the door, check on the job stuff, then write or do something else creatively related. I’m so glad you are weighing in on the side of silver lining. I need to believe that!
Honestly, I feel a HUGE tug-o-war inside each day. I am so grateful for the time out of the rat race to refill the well and work on creative projects. But there is always that nagging in the back of my head, what if? what if? I have to believe it will work out if I keep showing up for myself, just keep looking. Deep inside, I believe different opportunities will present themselves. Even though I was surprised when I wrote this piece about how much anxiety I also carry about losing my job. I really have to learn to hold both. Thanks for the great feedback.
BTW, I’m trying to imagine a Norma Rae/Sigourney Weaver combo deal. Surprisingly, I think it kind of works. 8)
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QM, sorry to hear about the job loss. I have never experienced it except in retirement which was voluntary for me. I know how much that affected me. I went from being employed to being “retired” even though I still wrote everyday and wrote more. Suddenly when people asked what I did for a living, I didn’t have anything to say. I was so identified as a worker. Sounds like you may be experiencing the same thing.
For me the additional time didn’t translate into more creative time because I found myself just wanting to sit and stare into space. I blamed it on 32 years of going to work for 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week and wanting MY time. I had to establish some other routines like you are doing to keep from doing nothing and feeling bad about the situation.
A friend of mine said, “Don’t say that you’re retired. Say you are embarking on a new career.” I laughed when he said it, but you know what? My attitude changed when I said, “I’ve left my career with the federal government to find a new career.” Maybe that would work for being temporarily between jobs/careers.
If there is anything I can do to help during this time, please let me know.
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You have anxiety, QM, because your are a responsible, thoughtful person who likes to put her talents to use inside and outside the corporation. You’re a true, blue American citizen — the best kind. You want to put in a good day’s work to earn a good life with your gifts, your beloveds, your neighborhood, your community and your country. Your anxiety springs from your frustration of working hard all your life and STILL getting laid off. Forces beyond your control. Man, I hate that crap.
Your talents notwithstanding you also have this: I didn’t detect one once of self-pity or victimization in this post. Bouts of self-pity dilute and pollute not only the creative drive, but also what is produced during those bouts. Don’t get me wrong, free free to rant and rage in your journal or to your beloveds — vomit it out of you, if you will — but then approach the clean page purged of what has been done unto you and focus on what you can do unto others. This is what you have accomplished here. You are one among many who have lost her/his job, but you have expressed it in a way that makes me care not only for you, but also for everyone else.
Yes, it’s tricky to hold both, but you must. Picture Norma Rae with an M-16 and Ripley in a textile factory. Or vice versa. Both are kickin’ butt not only for others, but also for themselves. Yeah, it works and you are, too.
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Bob, thanks. And you are already supporting me by your thoughtful response. I do think it helps to say I’m at a jumping off place, embarking on something new. It’s an opportunity, a chance to reevaluate my work life and choose something different if it fits. Maybe 5 years at one place was enough. And it’s time to see what else is out there. You are so right about routines and how important they are. If I didn’t have the practices I do, the people I have in my life, the different communities, my family, Liz, I would feel so isolated and alone. I am grateful for the people in my life every single day.
I did voluntarily leave a 9-year corporate job quite a while ago now, to pursue a writing path. I managed three teams of 35 people. It was a big change and I was so excited about it for the first year. Then things around the money pieces just fell apart. I wasn’t quite as prepared as I thought I was. I did come to a much better place with it with the help of others and a good hard look at my earning life. I was self-employed for a while. But I have found I like the structure of going to work, of a job that offers flexibility, some form of healthcare, and respects my work and my creative life, gives me time off when I need it to go pursue my writing. There are jobs out there like that; I just had one.
For me it’s been different to voluntarily leave a job than to get laid off unexpectedly. When I left voluntarily, I felt a great sense of relief; I was scared, but I was ready to move on. And I (thought) I had a workable plan in place (didn’t work out that way). But that doesn’t mean it’s not hard to do both of those things. Any kind of big life change is hard. A solid structure is needed in both cases. And a heck of a lot of support.
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Flan, thanks again for the support. Ripley rocks! I do think it’s an opportunity to see where I might be able to be of service to others in a different way through my work life. I don’t know what that looks like yet. But I’m trying to stay open. BTW, something you said in your former comment, about having gone through a job loss when you were single, I’ve done that, too, and I want to say it’s very difficult to be a single person and have only yourself to depend on. The support, at least for me, of being in a good relationship really helps with the anxiety.
I was single for about a 13 or 14 year period not that long ago, and it’s a different ballgame altogether, in many ways, but especially when it comes to money. It’s cheaper to live with someone else than it is to live alone. And that’s why I think many people opt to move in with family or get a roommate to help with costs. There are so many different layers around job loss. It sure brings a lot up. Not the least of which is the very American theme of how people should be able to “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” and move on. It’s not always possible. And we never know what’s going on behind the scenes in a person’s life that might be holding them back. I’ve read some things of late about poverty and how we as a nation tend to ignore that it’s going on in this country. I also ran into some good work that people in the past have done on child labor laws which eventually developed into the need for unions and worker rights. It’s amazing how everything is connected.
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I am nodding my head with everything I’ve read…all these themes we know so well.
I was out of work for five months, and was hired again a few weeks ago. One of the great things that has changed in me (as a result of no work and no income) is experiencing the gift of work, the basic thrill of being able to support myself. I had a steady job for 20+ years as a young adult, and experienced so much of it as a grind. Now, being in and out of work, I feel quiet strength about employment. It’s nice.
Beautiful pictures in this post, QuoinMonkey. I like the transition from closed to open in the essay.
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QM, I was never afraid that I would lose my job because the government doesn’t usually work that way. Right now I feel as though I would become a sex worker before I would return to a full or part-time job as an employee. For me being a sex worker would make about as much money as not working at all.
I never want to return to a regular job unless I love the work I do. I spent 32 years being a sex worker for Uncle Sam. The job provided me with training and travel and income that allowed me to live a good life, but, in the end, I gave so much of my life away to a career that I opted to stay in for the security. Now, I want to do what I like/love to do.
A younger friend of mine (age 43) quit his 9-to-5 job to create art and sell it. He took me to a birthday lunch (way before my birthday) and told me that he also never wanted to go back to being an employee.
For some people employment works. I use to be one of those. I hope I never have to return to it in the future unless it is something I love.
One of the consideration for me was health care. I got my health insurance with my retirement. I am not sure that I would have retired without it. I understand that concern. A small illness can ruin your bank account if you don’t have insurance…even bad insurance. The lack of universal health care is a national embarrassment.
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Oh, QM, I’m sorry. I applaud your optimism and courage to both look and move forward. Also, your commitment to make the most of the gift of unexpected time.
You used the phase, “I’m at a jumping-off place, embarking on something new.” That’s just how my work ended last summer. I fell off a deck and broke my back. I had a simultaneous awareness and understanding that I would not be teaching yoga for awhile AND that I was supposed to be doing something else. My back is fully healed now (with no limitation) and I am attending yoga classes as a joyful student, but have chosen not to return to a regular teaching schedule. I am committed to a writing life.
Today, at http://www.sassistas.com (just click on Flannista’s name) there is a wonderful post on Flannery O’Connor. In the comments, someone left this quote:
“Just being who you are
not justifying or apologizing,
It sounds so easy
it’s a life’s work
not to get caught in
producing
performing
proving
keeping accounts of indebtedness
waiting for gratitude, reward
ambition
manipulation
staggering self-pity
but cultivating the habit of being.”
The Habit of Being — Letters of Flannery O’Connor
This is my practice now: “cultivating the habit of being.”
QM, I wish you all the best. You have done a great service by “going public” with your own job loss. Others are or will find themselves in the same boat in the future and they will find comfort and courage in your words. I just know that there are really good things to happen in your future. The universe has created space for it to enter now. I’m sorry it had to be the “hard way.” It happened in a hard, but different way, for me seven months ago which became a fortunate change.
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QM, I am at a loss for many words as this is the first I am hearing about your job. What saddens me is the fact that people are getting laid off every day. But, you will find something. Your post is so compelling & knowing you & the person that you are, you will bounce back quickly.
You are fully aware of our situation. We left our jobs at the same time. The plan was for J to take a year off. Then of course you know the rest. I’m still waiting to hear from my interview. She told me it would be sometime this week, as they had several positions to fill.
As far as stress, I do my best to keep it under control. Two sayings help keep me line with my sanity:
If it’s meant to happen…It’s gonna happen
The other is:Never, never give up
I’ll be thinking about you QM. The other comment threads really say a lot of what I was thinking.Also, there are several things you can do to reduce your bills. We got rid of a few options on our cell phones & saved $30.00. We also reduced our cable bill by $40.0 a month.
Hugs & love…D
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Thanks, all for these great comments. Much appreciated. And on this cold, windy and gray Spring day that’s way under freezing, I look forward to the promise of Spring!
Sinclair, how did you structure your days during that 5 month period? That’s a long time. It’s amazing how much perspectives change on the meaning of work, depending on what our experiences are with it.
Bob, it’s true, it really depends on who we are, where we are in our lives, what we’ve been through when it comes to work. One thing I have learned is that the best laid plans can go awry. So I never say never anymore. I try to stay open to the next best thing for me. I actually enjoyed the last temp job. I had a lot of freedom and independence and it was project work. I also did a lot of writing for them. I could take time off for writing retreats. It was really the best of both worlds. I am hoping I can continue to strike that balance in whatever comes my way next.
breathepeace, what lovely words from Flannery O’Connor. Thank you for the link. I’ll check it out. The Habit of Being is one of my favorites. I picked it up when Liz, Mom, and I visited her childhood home in Savannah last summer. She’s such an honest writer. And funny. I like to read her letters out loud. It really is a life’s work not to get caught up in proving ourselves or pleasing others. But instead, doing what calls to us. Thank you for sharing your life-changing experience, too. I can’t imagine taking a fall like that. It’s completely life-changing. It wakes us up when those kinds of things happen. You have come out of it beautifully with your giving nature intact. I appreciate your well-wishes on this next part of the journey.
It’s interesting when you say you are committed to the writing life….that means so many different things to so many different people. It just drives home what Flannery is saying in the quote you provided — we really have to find our own way and discover what that means to each of us. Courage. Patience. Perseverance. Even though some days I feel like it, I don’t want to get tossed away.
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diddy, thanks for the vote of confidence. I process things quite slowly; I am the Turtle all the way. So it took a while to come to a place where I felt comfortable just spilling it all. It’s also a little exposing, as I guess there are those who will be watching what I choose to do next (or what chooses me; life on life’s terms). But there you have it! ybonesy also encouraged me to write about it on red Ravine with the off-chance that it might help others in some way. Last night, I had a little time to reflect and this is what came out. Totally unexpected that I would post on it this week.
It’s hard to explain how up and down I am with it inside. But somewhere at the core is a steady center. I keep trying to come back to that steadiness. There’s an old saying that I think I heard from Maya Angelou — Don’t pick it up, Don’t lay it down. She explained that it means you don’t get too high when compliments are paid to you or you are in the winner’s seat; you don’t get too low when obstacles are presented or new challenges come up that you may have not experienced before. You keep coming back to center. Not that you don’t feel excited when good things come your way, or down when things get tough — just that you don’t cling to them.
To me, it was another form of what Natalie has taught us with Writing Practice, too. Get it out on the page in all the rawness. Use the jewels and discard all the rest. Then come back to the page again. Really, really hard to do in harder times. Easier to do when things are going well. I’ll always see Maya Angelous’s face when she says it — Don’t pick it up. Don’t lay it down.
Oh, and thanks for the tip on expenses. We’ve sure been taking a long hard look! Coupons help, too. And being really choosy about the extracurricular activities. 8)
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I’m awed by the elegance of all the sentiments preceding this. I salute and double them, and send you my sincere sympathy and very best wishes.
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I hadn’t planned on checking in and commenting today, QM, but since I was checking email I did a quick peek at the new post, since I knew you were planning to do something. And then when I saw what it was, I just had to take the time to comment.
First, you are courageous to write abLout your job loss. Second, you are also compassionate, because I know it will help others out there, and not just people who have lost their jobs but also everyone, myself included, who feel the stress and fear of what’s going on in our country. Last night my niece said it feels like things are falling apart all around us.
Losing one’s job is one of the greatest stressors, after death of a spouse/partner and divorce/break-up of a long-term partner, one can go through. I spent a couple of hours a few years ago when I thought I was going to lose my job, talking to Louis Uchitelle of the New York Times; he wrote the book The Disposable American [LINK]. I just called him up out of the blue one day, left him a message, and then he called me back and spoke to me about his research on job loss.
It was so helpful for me to talk to him because I couldn’t understand why I was so distraught through the process of waiting to find out my fate. It turns out that being laid off amounts to total loss of control of a huge portion of one’s life—not just how you spend the bulk of your waking hours if you’re an employee, but also your livelihood, and in many cases some aspect of your identity.
I learned that lay-off was one of the most damaging traumas to the human psyche, especially depending on one’s relationship to one’s job. Uchitelle followed men and women, from automotive to high-tech, young and old, and learned what happened to many of them. Some didn’t recover; others did.
QM, I know you are getting through this with grace and strength. I don’t think that your relationship to your job was the same as many of those who Uchitelle researched, but I do know that even when one’s life view is that when one door closes another opens, it is a challenging life event to go through. When faced with that kind of situation, I think I generally would allow myself time to process and maybe even wallow, and then I’d pick myself up and kick butt. And I know that even if you have bad days, your good days are kicking butt days. 8)
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QM, i am sorry to hear about this change in your life. I remain impressed by the perspective you have on this event, and hope that i would be able ooze the same level of grace that you have during times of duress. You are a good role model for keeping things in perspective. I agree with the other posts in that it takes courage to express this event here, and am glad you have the support of others around you. My thoughts are with you, and if you need anything, all you have to do is call/email/carrier pigeon/smoke signals….
reccos62
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I think your own mentor, Natalie Goldberg has the right answer. I’ve been reading her book, Writing Down the Bones (found here). Her suggestions for fitting in writing time are great – like do whatever you want until 10:00 in the morning, but then sit down and WRITE!
Another thing she says is ‘your time will come.’ Yours will come. Keep writing, doing your art, and hopefully, the next door will open soon.
Have you though about starting to teach private writing classes and creative expression classes? You’d be great.
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QM,
First off…I’m not really good at swearing… but in your honor…I spouted off some really manly ones. What’s happening to good people out there right now makes me angry. Second, the comments here are spot on…and Flannista hit a home run with hers. If I had any money, she’d have to fight me for you…and I’m pretty stealth… even at 51 😉
With my “chosen” career (more like fell into it blindly), Commercial Printing, I’ve been through some pretty lean times…and been laid off twice. I can remember bursting into tears when I got to the head of the unemployment line the first time. Right now I’m warily watching what happens to my beloved company everyday. I know if it’s gone, the gallery’s gone…but more important… I’m concerned with the people I’ve worked with half my life… just surviving. But me talking about layoffs …well it’s not the same as when it happens to YOU. I can only tell you what’s in my heart.
QM, I wouldn’t know you on the street but I do know you from your words…and that’s a very telling thing. I know you’re a hardworking person. I know that you do what’s right, that you’re fascinated by food on sticks, that you love Liz, your Family and those fur children. I know that you give a damn about the world, I know you’re one hellava writer and I KNOW you’re tough. Hell, You don’t live an alternative lifestyle without learning how to penetrate brick walls and hateful, stupid people. You’re probably hiding a super hero cape in a backpack right now.
You will get through this with good days and bad days. Honestly, there’s no way around those bad days. You need to stay focused and very busy…busy enough to not let negativity or the feeling of failure creep in because you have not failed. Go shoot something. Don’t do it at noon time when worker-bees are out having lunch together. That’s one thing I really remember that could tip me over. The feeling of not belonging to the same world. It’s stupid little things like that…that can set you back. Keep working Girl. Write until your eyes blur. Who better than you could put into words how a person can feel at this time? It’s so very important to me and the others to hear it.
Get up everyday with a mission. While looking for that next job (and I swear it’s out there), volunteer in a place where someone needs you more than you can ever imagine… because being needed GIVES YOU STRENGTH. There’s a million lonely, worthy seniors out there looking for someone just like you to share a precious hour with. And with your wit…how blessed they’d be…no doubt you’d be too.
Remember to make Liz laugh inappropriately so she won’t worry too much. Don’t hold back stuff. Get rid of it and laugh together. That’s important for you both. God Bless you QM. I’m a crazy heathen but He still listens to me. I’m going to talk about you tonight so if your ears burn, it’s just me blabbing.
My love your way. H
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QM,
I’m so sorry to hear this news! I’m glad I checked in, it’s been a while, but what a coincidence! My boss was fired last Wed. and it’s been hellish! She was so devastated that she tried to kill herself! She told me she was going to do it, all day, from the time she got the phone from the President of the Museum Board, telling her that he and another Board member were coming to “have a talk with her.” I kept trying to reason with her, but to no avail. The horrible team arrived just before quitting time and it was all over in less than five minutes! She had already packed up her personal things. I had given her a ride to work, and she needed me to take her home. During the day, I urged her to call her sister or parents, or husband, but she wouldn’t…crying and saying that she was too ashamed and embarrassed. So, since my efforts had been fruitless all day, I hurried home and called her husband and told him
to drive down to Cody “RIGHT NOW; YOUR WIFE NEEDS YOU!!!” (He was in Red Lodge, MT.) Halfway here, he called me and asked me to call 911, as she had stopped answering her phone. I did, and it all resulted in an ambulance ride to the ER, empty pill bottle, ICU for two days, and now the psych ward. She is such a fragile soul;
low self esteem, no confidence.
You, my dear, are the opposite, thank Goodness! I know you are strong, resilient and courageous. I wish my friend had even a small amount of the qualities you posess and express. I am confident that you will find another position or, perhaps become the world’s best photo-journalist that I know you can be!!
Beaming loving, supportive thoughts your way!
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QM, As a part-time reader and commenter, this is really sucky news. Hang in there.
I’ve been living overseas for nearly 10 years now so my perspective of the USA is starting change. I am having a hard to fathoming the downturn in the U.S. Those statistics you list are mind-blowing. I read about this economic downturn online, see it on CNN and FoxNews on Direct TV, but its about as foreign to me now as news about Venezuela is to you.
Here, I still have a job for now. Its hard to tell what’s going to happen here. If oil stays low and inflation keeps going up, there is no guarantee that my school can stay open. But being an international school teacher is a sketchy job at best. We live from yearly contract to yearly contract with no tenure. We accept that risk.
Stay busy and active. Of course, I would recommend riding a bicycle if you have one (I know you have/had a motorcycle). Its a great stress reliever. Movies are too. I’ve been down to my last $20.00 and spent a big chunk it on a movie ticket and never regretted it.
Take care!
MM
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I went to dinner with Liz and a friend last evening and didn’t check back in until this morning. I am completely humbled and blown away by these responses. A tear or two might even have surfaced. Thank you all for this outpouring of support. I really appreciate it. And I’ll come back to read your thoughts and feelings on days when I hang on the downside.
ritergal, thank you. I sure appreciate it.
ybonesy, I remember when that was all happening to you and you contacted Louis Uchitelle. I was really impressed by that. You remind me that it’s also hard for those left behind in jobs, when their friends have been laid off. I know it was like the morgue at the company I just left when those 40+ people were laid off right before I was. It’s like all the fun goes out of work. And I remember that it was super quiet; no one talked to each other the way they used to. There was also some backstabbing that started going on by some who really wanted to keep their jobs at the expense of others. You could cut the tension with a knife.
And thanks for the support, yb. You bring up a good point about the nature of a person’s relationship to their job at the time of a layoff. I think having already kind of chosen an alternative kind of worklife due to my writing career has afforded me a different perspective on how to piece together a financial life. Creative people who want to make money from their writing or art are often put into this position. But, I tell you, the two weeks right before I got laid off, I kind of knew what was coming and I was feeling pretty down about it. Something shifted the first week I had off though and I did feel that feeling of wanting to get out there and kick butt. Now, 4 weeks into it, I still feel some of that but it’s up and down. It’s really what I do with my mind. And to remember to keep reaching out for support.
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reccos62, thanks so much for the support. I like the idea of carrier pigeon. 8) And I’ll surely take you up on your offer if/when I start heading toward the down side. I know you’ve all got my back there. And it means a lot that you checked in here. Thanks for believing in me.
christine, thank you for the vote of confidence. Actually, I am looking at teaching and, if I can get over my fear, I may finally take that leap. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long, long time. There is something kind of scary about it. Yet at the same time, the idea of passing on what I have learned is exciting to me. It’s also a way to be of service to others. Natalie has some great things to say about times like these in her books. The most important thing she has taught me, well two important things, are to keep at my practices and to set up a structure and stick to it. So many writers will tell you that. With Monkey Mind tagging along, it’s easier said than done. But I’m trying my best.
I was talking to Liz and a friend last night about how some days it’s hard to let myself do what I love and enjoy. My mind switches between — “”I need to get a job!!!” and “Thank goodness I have some time to write and read!” Some days I won’t let myself stop and read for a few hours, even though as a writer, I know I need more of that in my life. I find, too, that when I don’t read memoir, literature, good books for a time, I get rusty with the reading. It takes a while to fall into the flow of a good book. Whereas the year I was reading literature all the time for the Intensive, studying the structures of books, it was so easy to read. Strange to know we have to practice reading!
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heather, your comment made me laugh and cry. You have got to be one of the kindest and big-hearted people I know. And I’ve never even met you in person! I sure hope you don’t lose your commercial printing job. Sounds like it’s touch and go for some there. I can’t even imagine you having to give up the art gallery and wonderful space you have created for artists. It seems like a calling for you and I could not even imagine that coming to a halt right now.
Your idea of volunteering time to worthy causes is a good one. And I know from the service work I have done in the past that I get as much out of it as those I am giving my time, too. Time really is a gift. I love what you said about making Liz laugh inappropriately, too. I’ll keep that in mind. Liz is so supportive. She is such a blessing in my life. I really can’t imagine my life without her anymore. I love her so much. It’s also true that living an alternative lifestyle toughens you up. You really learn what it means to be “other” and have to develop some pretty tough and forgiving skin.
Your advice about getting out and photographing again is good, too. In fact, excellent. I’m going to consider that. Reading all these comments makes me want to set up a weekly schedule for next week and really stick to it. I need to get out of the house more, too, and get to the studio. Keep busy doing things that fill me up. I need to commit to that. Thanks for your prayers, heather. And for believing in me, even though, as you say, you wouldn’t know me from anyone else if I passed you on the street — you know enough. 8)
mimbresman, what you say about staying active, that’s key. I can get so lethargic, sitting around worrying. I told Liz I want to get the motorcycles out early this year. But this darn weather! It’s 28 and windy here today. I did see a ton of motorcycles out a few weeks ago when it hit 60. Way too cold now! It’s interesting to think about Venezuela, what it must be like to live there, teach there. I bet it is strange to see what’s happening in the U.S. Though you are removed from it, you know what it was like when you did live here. Lots of stress in this country right now. All kinds of layers to it.
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oliverowl, I am just stunned by that turn of events with your boss. I can’t believe she tried to commit suicide after losing her job. Yet at the same time, I can totally believe it. Your comment points out the really dark side of all this job loss, foreclosure, loss of income, health insurance, 401-K mess — many people are in so much pain that they would choose death over any alternative. Wow. And to read your details and see how it all unfolded. She is so lucky that you called her husband in Red Lodge, Montana. That he rushed home and called you when he was only halfway back. Otherwise, I can’t imagine.
How is she doing now? And how is it for you at work now. Do you have to pick up the slack? Or will they hire a part-time person? That’s really something. And I’m so sorry. It does bring up, too, how many people’s identities are totally wrapped up in what they do for a living. And to not have that anymore is terrifying for them. UGH. Thanks for sharing that story because it points out the seriousness of what’s happening in the layers underneath all the job loss numbers. People’s lives are at stake. (And thanks, too, for your unwavering support, and for believing in me. It really helps.)
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QM, one of the top news stories on our local news was that there are more & more people being hired to man the unemployment overload of call centers. What a sad state of affairs. Every day it becomes more apparent that no one is risk free of losing their jobs.
oo’s comment about her boss is heartbreaking. I have witnessed a similar situation at work years ago, when a a woman I worked with was demoted & the next day she had a nervous breakdown at her desk & was taken away to a local hospital. oo is obviously so kind hearted & sensible. Those are many of the qualities that make me feel so close to her, even though we have never met.
You QM, are a trooper, surrounded by love. You will overcome this difficult time & find path that suits you well. You are strong & determined, a quality that makes me proud to have married into the family. love…D
p.s.- we have the fire place going, so if smoke signals come your way, they are from our heart to yours.
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QM, my friend still isn’t doing very well. Her husband stopped by to bring me up to date. At a hearing, an MD recommended she be committed to the WY State Mental Hospital, and both she and her husband wanted her closer to home, in Billings. That MD has only seen her since this episode. I suggested that they contact a counselor she has been seeing, and he agreed that she would be a more credible witness for his wife.
Actually, I have been doing most of the work for several months. I didn’t mention it to any of the Bosrd members, but there were signs of depression all last Fall. Her high absenteeism couldn’t be hidden, though. She was warned by the “tech guys” that she had way too much personal email…some days she and her sister just emailed back and forth for hours! So, she really was afraid of losing her job, but is in denial about recognizing that it was due to her own behavior. I’ve had a couple of friends volunteer to come for an hour or so each day. Then I can go into the vault and work…which is difficult to do when I’m alone and can’t tell if I have a visitor or if the phone rings. There were only two of us. We thought we were going to have a part-time person, but the County Commissioners said there wasn’t enough money to hire one “at this time.”
Say…what about concentrating on your memoir now? No excuses…face that blank piece of white paper or the blank computer screen and tippity-tap away, girl! You’ve got to get it done before your Mom and I can’t see anynore, because if that happens, I’ll make you sit down in front of us two little old drooling ladies and read it out loud to us!
Now, that ain’t a pretty picture is it?!
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I’m sorry QM. I hope something comes through for you soon.
My youngest son, who just moved to Colorado last August, was laid off about two weeks ago. He was also turned down for graduate school. He was told he qualified (he was accepted into the program), but they don’t have the money for new students. He’s getting married in June and the “due to the economy” changes are making things difficult for him and his fiancee.
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QM,
I heard this today and thought of you. Great song. Great, tough lady…like you. TURN IT UP!
H
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QM, I came back to this post to spread the word about something I learned about today. For anyone who is without a prescription program, there is a website that offers a card. After calling every pharmacy in our area to try to get get prices on one of J’s new precriptions, I discovered that that were all pretty much the same, even though the drug is a generic form. The first time I filled it was $106.00 per month. A kind girl at Target told me about the program. The website is FreeDrugCard.US..I simply google searched it & it was first on the list. They even tell you who accepts the card. So, it took me 1 minute to print a card for both J & myself. They are activated immediately after you type in your first & last name & email address. I called for a refill & guess what! With this card J’s refill will cost us just $53.00 a month. The website also gives info on all sorts of other info, including pets. Just wanted to let everyone know & even if they have a plan, I’m certain they know someone who does not. D
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QM, I have read this post and comments several times, feeling your dismay and loss of center. I can’t think of a thing to say that is not a cliche, but honestly, with your talent and energy, I can only think that something wonderful will come along and you will be there ready for it.
I was devastated when I lost a job I was taking totally for granted, never thought such a thing would happen. I felt slapped down, and the loss of my creative outlet was very sudden. After I got over the shock, I realized what a gift it was, to be free of all that noise in my head and the twist in my gut.
The old saw, when one door closes, another opens…it is so true. We look back at that closed door, wondering why, until we see the opening, and find ourselves moving through.
Wishing you all the best, you deserve it.
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diddy, I think I see the smoke signals. Thanks for the skywriting. The fire sounds cozy and nice. I’m proud you married into the family, too. Isn’t it interesting to think about “marrying into a family?” And how the mixing of families down through time makes up what we call our ancestry. I hope it’s going well with your job search, too.
oliverowl, so your friend ended up in Billings? I still can’t get over all that. But it sounds from your last comment like she suffered with depression and has for some time. Her job loss might have been the event that put her over the edge.
You bring up another good point about how those left behind at the workplace must pick up the slack for those laid off. They aren’t hiring others to take their place. Perhaps the workload has lightened (which is why some are laid off) but, at the same time, dumping the workload on others, in addition to their normal workloads, can be quite challenging.
Before I left my job, I went over all my projects and files with the group I worked with and they were a little overwhelmed by it all. I guess over time it will smooth out. But the added workload was scary to them.
oliverowl, I’m trying to tippity-tap away on the memoir. I spent Friday getting organized in the studio, taking notes, writing down the structure. The trick is to get out of my own way; to not let the stress of being without work creep into my creative time. It is up and down. But I’m working on it.
Because you are right — if I keep putting it off, I may not be able to read my own memoir either! I’m no spring chicken myself. We’ll all have to have Liz read it out loud to us. 8)
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QM, it’s great to hear that you are moving into a space where you are getting ready to write. I can picture you organizing your space, taking notes, getting ready to launch. Amazing how much groundwork has been laid and must be laid before beginning the actual work of writing.
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Robin, I’m so sorry about your son. I hope things make a turn for him and his fiancee. There has been a lot in the news of late about the plight of college students. Those who are just getting out of school, the job market, what they can expect compared to even 5 years ago. It’s got to be disheartening heading out into the job market. I feel for them and wish them the best.
Heather, good old Bonnie Raitt! There is one woman who will not be broken. And hasn’t she aged gracefully? I have most of her early albums (and I do mean albums). And I actually saw Bonnie Raitt in the 1970’s when she came to my college campus and played. I remember Freebo who I think was her bass player. Bonnie rocks!
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diddy, I had never heard of the FreeDrugCard plan but checked out the website. Looks like it’s sponsored by a non-profit and has been on the news many times. What a great deal for you and J.!
So I have a question, if you go to their Pharmacy Locator and type in your zip code, a list of pharmacies in the area come up. Does that mean all those pharmacies accept the card? That’s just an amazing savings that you’ve gotten.
lil, thank you for the kind comment. Sounds like you’ve experienced that loss of center, too, and come out stronger in the end. That is encouraging. I’m going to keep alert for the next open door. I hope I don’t miss it because I’m too fixated on the one that just closed! It is a balance for me.
ybonesy, thanks. I really have to work hard to keep my days structured and not let them sink down the tubes, that old time vortex, things that eat up time. I’m hoping the new structure I have set up for the coming week helps me to stay focused.
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QM, when you print the card, it provides a list of pharmacies that accept the card. It covers many that aren’t even in our area, such as Winn-Dixie, Walgreens, etc, but many major dept. stores such a Wal-Mart, Target, K-Mart, etc. are also on the list. Our grocery store just happened to be there also. I imagine that the savings will vary depending on where you use the card. I do know that it is nationwide for all that are on the list. The United Way has a similar program available. The card I printed just became available this year & now J & I are both in the pharmacy system.
If I can tell just one person who can be helped by this, then I feel great. I have told another couple who are in the same situation & she printed their cards out that night. He takes monthly meds for a thyroid condition. She does not take any meds monthly, but you never know what might be prescribed if you become ill.
I hope you are doing well & I know somthing good will come your way. I just feel it…D
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diddy, thanks for the additional info. It’s really good to know. And it’s true…you just never know what’s going to happen to your health. It can not be predicted. Doing good today. Heading offline for a time, out to enjoy the day. There is a storm brewing. It looks like a good day to fly a kite. I’ve got a Spiderman kite in the back of my car. Might be a day to just get out and have some fun. 8) I think it was Heather who said — laugh inappropriately!
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Hi QM,
You have so many great friends, with so many warm thoughts and prayers sent your way. You are a strong and sensiable person. All you have been through has given you strength to overcome anything. I have always had faith in you to come through anything.
They say everything happens for a reason! I am a firm beliver in that. With belief and prayer all things can be accomplished. Though at the time it is hard, to not wonder why me, just look around and we have so much to be thankful for. As they say when God closes a door He always opens a window.
YOur writing is so great that someone will grab you up in no time. You also have so much experience in so many fields.
I had to laugh when one person said about riding the bike/ You’ve been there and done that,too. I was always amazed at how you rode a bike to work in Missoula’s ice and snow.(overlook my spelling its late and I’m tired so I’m trying to hurry) I have to get up and take my car to be repaired later today. The door timer lock is not working.
You know we are there supporting you, stay strong, stay focused , and everything will work out. I’m thankful you have LIz there with you, I wish I were there also. I am in spirit and I’m sending good vibes to you both!!!!
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(Sorry for chipping in late but I was off-line for a few days there)
Hi QM – Very sorry to hear this news but like others have commented I like the manner in which you presented the whole situation. I’m happy for you that you’ve received so many supportive messages from both people you’re close to and those you’ve met on-line.
I was caught in a big downturn back in ’03 when our pre-press dept had gone fully digital – there was no work to be had in the trade. Eventually after running through my severence package I was able to get funding toward being retrained. During the run-up to that time going back to school things looked awfully bleak some days. The prospect at going into a totally new work arena was both exciting and daunting at age 50. Away from manufacturing and into human services – awesome!
Many of the fears and other feelings you describe are ones I can relate to. Perhaps more than you my identity was pretty wrapped up in the job, length of service, workmates, income… and I found those sorts of things difficult to deal with. Sudden separation equalled a definite quality of grief on a number of fronts.
I suppose, going forward, the thing I’d like most to emphasize is to remain hopeful. You’re an obviously talented person on a number of fronts who would be a huge asset to any company that employed you. Perhaps begin your day with a series of positive affirmations to fix a mindset for the day. The measures you’ve set up for yourself appear very solid. Best of luck working through a very difficult time.
You can count one more person in your corner who is rooting for the best possible outcome for you.
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Norm, thank you so much for your kind comment (and one can never be late in responding to posts on red Ravine — we love getting comments on posts from any time period. It’s especially rewarding to know people are reading many different posts over time). I am humbled by all the kind words that come from people who have never even met me.
You sound like you eventually came out of a layoff situation beautifully. You took a risk and went back to school to do something it sounds like you love. It takes patience, perserverance, and a certain belief in yourself to go that extra mile when you’re feeling down about losing your job. I commend you and am so glad it worked out well for you.
I imagine there may be many in your situation with the pending problems in the auto industry — people who may have been with a company for years and years getting laid off. All their friends are there and their identities wrapped up there.
You bring up the point of age, too, and it is something I think about sometimes. Though I’ve never been one to really focus on that aspect of my life and believe all things are possible at any age, it does creep into my thoughts when job hunting. Because I know age discrimination is out there. And when a person has been doing the same job for 20 or 30 years, it can be really intimidating to try to get back out into a work force that has totally changed since you first entered it.
I did read something recently about how Baby Boomers might end up being a generation that helps change the bias toward age, not only in the job market, but in many areas of life. There is so much to gain by hiring an employee who has lived a lot of life, been around the block, and is happy to be working for a company and giving their all. I hope that continues to change over the next 20 or 30 years as the Boomers flow well into middle age.
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MOM, I so appreciate your thoughts and warm wishes. And especially your belief in me. It never wavers, even after all the time it seems to take me to reach these crazy goals of mine. It’s true, I did trek around Missoula in the winter slush and ice on a regular welded together 10-speed with those razor-thin tires. It’s a wonder I didn’t kill myself! Ah, the things we do in our youth, things we’d never repeat as a middle-aged person!
I’ve been thinking about you a lot this week as I work on the memoir and the family tree. I’m really enjoying this extra time I have to write. And am uncovering more ghosts from the past. I also thought of you as I wrote about Grandmama and I know she is smiling down on us all the time, helping guide our way.
I hope it wasn’t anything too serious with your car repair. I know you want to go to Georgia a few times in the coming months, so your car has to be in tip-top shape! I’m catching your good vibes, Mom. Thanks for everything!
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QM, I read Mom’s comments this morning & then less than a half hour ago she dropped by to deliver A’s birthday gift. She is good at keeping track at all of that. Card & all. She shared a slice of pizza that we had just picked up.
If your ears were burning, that’s because we discussed your situation & all agreed that only good things will come your way. You have what it takes & having Liz & the support of all that care about you should bring warm feelings to your heart. You have alot to offer,QM.
We all love you so much & I wish J & I could come to the rescue, but we have been facing our own situation. Still, we have hope & determination & know there are many others in worse situations than ours. Faith & love can go a long way. Love…D
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Thanks, diddy. How coincidental — we are having pizza tonight, too. Frozen but good. I was thinking a lot about family today so my ears must have been burning! Thanks for the kinds words. I have faith, too, in all this or something better. And I know you and J. are really going through it over the last year. And that lots of people out there are hurting. I feel lucky to have the support I do. And I feel fortunate to be able to write about it, to get it out of me in productive ways. I’ve been following a new schedule this week and it’s really helping. I try to plan my time and rotate between a lot of different tasks, including job hunting. So, so far, so good.
Also, this is the beginning of the 5th week of the layoff and the Unemployment kicked in. I read somewhere that most people have to wait 4 – 6 weeks for their first check because there are so many people that are making claims. Another thing I have gratitude for — it seems like Obama’s stimulus package is actually trickling down to the little gals and guys — I’ve gotten $25 a week extra added on to the Unemployment as a result of that package. That means that others are receiving that, too. Slowly but surely, things may actually change. 8)
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QM, things will change for certain. For the better. Like I said before “never, never give up”. I liveby that on a daily basis. BTW, ordered out pizza is a very rare thing for us. Maybe that’s why it always tastes so good! D
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diddy, wanted to respond to one more thing you said about MOM being really good about remembering everyone’s birthdays. And I mean EVERYONE in this huge family that we have. I have always appreciated that about her and I think it’s something that’s getting lost in generations to come.
MOM always takes her time choosing the perfect card, too, one with sentiment and emotion. One thing about the new My Heritage account that Mom set up is that you can see everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries that are coming up as a result of uploading the Family Tree. In this day and age when it seems so hard to keep track of everyone’s birthdays, it sure seems to help me. It makes me think of the person that day, too, all day long. And you can send e-Cards from there.
But MOM remembers our birthdays all on her on. And I appreciate that she still does that. It’s a great connection. And something that adds so much to her role as a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother.
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Checking in on this post — still job hunting. There are a few things out there. Who knows which will pan out. I have to turn it over. The Unemployment site for Minnesota crashed again on Monday of this week. I’m assuming, high volumes after the March layoffs. It was down Monday morning, back up in the afternoon.
I wanted to leave a comment here, too, for Heather from Anuvue Studio who left a wonderful comment earlier in this post. I found out today that her husband lost his job of 17 years at the end of March. And now she has to close her gallery she has spent so much time building and creating.
The Gallery has been her dream and I feel so sad for her. Maybe our readers could send support her way. She’s a kind and generous soul and I know another door will open…but that doesn’t take away the pain. If you’d like to leave her a note, here’s the link: When one door closes…. (LINK).
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State Unemployment statistics were released yesterday for the month of March. Liz was reading them to me on the way to poetry group last night. There are some jobs out there but so so many people vying for the same jobs.
National stats are at 8.5; MN is up slightly from when I posted this piece at 8.2. I read that Wisconsin right next store to us reported on Thursday that unemployment rose from 8.8 percent in February to 9.4 percent in March in WI. Quite a bit higher. And I saw 9.2 in Washington state.
Here’s a really interesting map from Kearney, Nebraska (near one of the homes of the sandhill cranes) where they have one of the lowest rates. They haven’t updated with March’s 2009 numbers yet. But if they do, it might be a good place to follow the stats.
NE unemployment down; view U.S. unemployment rates by state and sector (LINK) — interactive map of U.S.
You know, barber shops and beauty salon businesses added jobs last month. Last time I got my hair cut, my stylist said that business is booming. I wonder if it’s a way to gain a little personal comfort without breaking the bank. Or maybe all those people looking for jobs have to keep the hair cropped close to the vest.
_________________
From Positively MN: State Unemployment Rate 8.2 Percent in March ~ Employers eliminate 23,200 jobs statewide ~ (LINK)
ST. PAUL –The Minnesota unemployment rate edged up to a seasonally adjusted 8.2 percent in March, remaining below the U.S. rate of 8.5 percent, according to figures released today by the Minnesota Department of Employment and Economic Development (DEED).
State employers eliminated 23,200 jobs in March, compared with the loss of 663,000 jobs nationwide during the month. Over the past year, job counts in both Minnesota and the nation have decreased 3.6 percent.
“This is a broad-based recession that is affecting nearly every state and every sector of the economy,” said DEED Commissioner Dan McElroy. “But we are seeing signs that the economy might be improving nationally, including increasing orders for manufactured goods in February, a slight uptick in consumer confidence in March and stronger sales for existing homes.”
In March, Minnesota added 200 jobs in the category comprising other services, which includes industries like repair and maintenance, religious and grant-making organizations, and barbershops and beauty salons.
Here’s another MPR link to the stats — MN Unemployment rate: 8.2% (LINK)
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[…] continued job hunting, gardening and yard work with Liz, meetings with ybonesy around red Ravine, I’m researching […]
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Ah, a moment to check in on red Ravine. Hope everyone will bear with me while I catch up on comments this weekend. The good news is I started a new job this week. It’s a big adjustment in the way I spend minutes, hours, and days and I’ll be out and about, away from the desk and on my feet quite a bit, but I’m excited to be working again!
I can feel a slight loosening as employers start to venture out and take a few more risks on re-hiring people. The company I am currently working for also went through big layoffs over the last few years; some of their people had been there over 20 years.
Long story short, I’m adjusting to my new schedule and will have to find my rhythm with it. Balancing work, family, and the creative life (which for me is writing, photography, art, time at the studio, time in the garden, time with Liz and the cats, time to visit with my family, time with friends) is always challenging.
But I’ve done it for many years and will continue to make the best of my time. ybonesy is also one who works hard to balance work, family, art, writing. Together we have been able to make red Ravine work for a few years (no easy feat).
Heading to the studio today to get ready for First Thursdays next week, open doors in the studio next weekend, then out of town for a short writing retreat. Will work to keep the balance! Gratitude to all who sent supportive energy while I was laid off (and especially to Liz). I went through a lot of ups and downs and it helped tremendously. Thank you.
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AMEN!!!!
Just saw this and am So HAPPY for you!!!
Good ol’ Abe said
“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was”.
and damn he was right!
I hope you sew…You’re gonna have to let your pant legs down!
😉 H
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I was so thrilled to see this, QM.
Congratulations and best wishes to you on your new job!
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QM, congrats! Finding a job can be difficult & depressing. Though I left my job on my own accord, I have been applying for jobs since February. I know the economy has been a huge factor in my not being able to secure work & maybe I’m being too picky.
I’m so happy for you & wish you well! I also hope this doesn’t interfere with your trip next month. Hugs to you! D
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Also thrilled, QM, about your newfound employment. I also look back over the past how many months and realize how much you got done for rR. Getting us going on Twitter, the posts, the behind-the-scenes clean-up, the interactions with Support to get stats working, etc. THANKS!
One of the interesting things about working is how we create structure within the work structure to do our writing and art. For me, I rarely watch any TV any longer. I have cut out about 99%. And involving friends and family in my art has been key.
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Heather, Robin, diddy, ybonesy, Thank you! for the well wishes. I’m happy to be working again but let me tell you it’s a huge adjustment, a complete turn-around to the way I’ve spent my time the last 6 months.
Being unemployed was a mixed blessing. It was depressing at times and when one is depressed, it’s hard to get motivated. There’s almost no way of getting around the ups and downs of having creative time yet very little money coming in. But I am thankful for a great support system, both in my day to day life and online. And for good friends, family, partner, and blog partner.
The new job is something completely different than what I’ve done before. It’s related to the last job in some ways. But I decided to expand out and do some things I haven’t done before so I could get into the groove of working again. I do some driving and I’m on my feet for about 8 hours solid. This is not a desk job! A complete change from the writing and project work I did in my last job. It’s also fast paced with not much time to think.
I’ll keep you posted. I anticipate getting a Blackberry or something more Internet mobile in the near future. I anticipate soaking my feet many evenings this winter!
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Oh, ybonesy, I forgot that I wanted to say thank you for the kudos. I found a lot of joy in being able to do more on red Ravine while I was unemployed. I did do a lot of clean up and was able to devote a solid chunk of time in getting to know Twitter and posting there for red Ravine. I learned a lot! Especially about writers, artists, editors, publishers and the way they are using Twitter.
I also wanted to say that sometimes I found solace in this piece of work, this piece of art we’ve created in red Ravine (and co-created with all of our Guests, our readers, our muses, our inspirations). I love that the art and writing is coming together and that we all keep inspiring each other.
I was really thankful for all the tangible ways I could see that I had worked and created and that I had a place to visit 24/7 online. One thing I learned is that as artists and writers we long for time, time, time to do our creative work. Yet when faced with all that time and little money coming in, it’s difficult to focus on producing.
At work again, I’m insanely busy. So I’m glad you mentioned getting family and friends involved in your creative activities. It reminded me how thankful I am that Liz is a creative soul, too, and understands the creative ups and downs. And that we share a studio space where we continue to set intention to create. It’s sure not the easiest way to try to make a living. But I can’t imagine life any other way.
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[…] this week, I’m alone. It was a hard week. I felt sick on Tuesday but went to work anyway. For the last few months, I’ve been driving a truck, delivering parts to machinists to be electropolished, drilled, deburred, picking them up again. […]
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