What I know about Velveeta cheese is the color. More pale orange than most cheeses. The texture. A gelatinous blob, jiggles when you shake it. The taste, well, not so much uncooked as cooked.
One would be hard-pressed to get a slice of Velveeta, taken off the block, to melt in the mouth. It’d take a glass of milk, I bet, to wash it down, adhered as it would be to the roof of the mouth, like those tart molds I remember the dentist once made of my teeth. Or the body of Christ, embodied in a white round host, wedged at the top, the choking, almost suffocating from manipulating the tongue to dislodge it while the priest walked through the slow process of drinking the last of the blood of Christ and then wiping out the chalice with a green cloth that seemed too nice to treat as a washrag.
And I suppose it’s fitting that Velveeta would lead me to memories of teeth molds and Communion hosts. They were all wrapped up together in my mind, the days of Hogan’s Heroes and grilled cheese sandwiches with Shasta cola after school. Friday nights at the bowling alley with Mom and Dad, me tucked under a pinball machine watching tan cordury bell bottoms of teenage boys. Sundays spent sitting with bony knees in a pew wishing I didn’t have to eat a round wafer that tasted like paper but softer.
Things that melt in the mouth, or don’t, and why is it that Velveeta melts so well in a pan over heat? The mouth, isn’t it a constant 90+ degree oven?, but I guess the temperature just isn’t high enough to activate the wheys and milkfats to dance that swirling dance from solid to liquid. And what about biting into Velveeta? Already I can feel the film on my teeth, like washing globs of Elmer’s glue from one’s fingers.
I don’t have qualms about eating Velveeta in sauces, dips, or casseroles. It was one of the foods of my youth, as familiar to me as potato chips or mayonnaise. Although I grew up with a natural bent for natural everything. Made my own granola out of raw oats and sesame seeds, honey and California sun-kissed raisins, when I was still a teen. Gravitated to halibut when given a choice for any selection on the long main-entree counter at Furr’s Cafeteria. Hated red meats for the veins and shunned eggs and chicken because Mom had enough of slaughtered birds and fertilized eggs when she was young, and when she was older she passed on her food aversions to us.
But I still ate processed food, still ate whatever I could find in the fridge after school, even when it was a box of aging Velveeta, the open end hardened and discolored, cracked and in need of amputation. Grilled cheese sandwiches were one of the few things I could make by myself, and I picked up Janet’s preference for cutting them diagonally and then dipping the end in a puddle of ketchup before biting off a piece.
I still love grilled cheese sandwiches dipped in ketchup, although I’m not a regular consumer of Velveeta nowadays. I like a sharp cheddar cheese and just this afternoon I made a green chile relleno casserole that I suppose could have been done with Velveeta, although I mixed yellow and white sharp cheddar. The cheeses melted a sort of deep amber, and being as how I’ve burned Velveeta in the crock pot, I know that even cheese that melts well over heat can turn brown if you let it get too hot.
-related to Topic post: WRITING TOPIC — VELVEETA CHEESE
I give! I give!
After all these posts about Velveeta, I’m going to go to the grocery store tonight and buy a loaf, something I’ve never done as an adult.
It’s the only cheese we had when I was in grade school. I wonder, does anyone want to share a box with me? Just for old-time’s sake?
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Teri, you just cracked Liz up. I’d love to share a box of Velveeta cheese. Hey, isn’t it good as a snack on crackers, too. Liz is a true cheese snob and won’t do the Velveeta. But I’m game. Save me a little. 8)
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LOL! Teri, you gotta do it. Is there a particular casserole recipe your family made with Velveeta when you were a kid? Because, you’re going to be eating a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches if not. 8)
Oh, actually, I think they now sell half-pound boxes. I vaguely remember seeing smaller boxes one time.
BTW, yesterday I went to go see the movie Revolutionary Road, which is set in the 1950s. Wow, just looking at the scenery, the kitchen table and the lamps and the dresses and hats and the houses and cars—it was so well done. I bet there was a one-pound loaf of Velveeta in that refrigerator.
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Yb, I agree with you on the other cheeses. When I make mac-n-cheese, I use 3 different ones, sharp cheddar, mild cheddar, & colby jack. But, I’m pretty selective about what brand I buy.
I have used Velveeta in dips & they do sell a smaller package. I have to hide it in the fridge or J would have a fit. BTW, as children we would give our beagle a hunk & giggle as he tried to chew it!
Abbey is particular. The only way I can give her a pill is to wrap it in a piece of Land-O-Lakes white american slices. But I dip my grilled cheese sandwich in tomato soup. Ketchup, Bleah! D
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I stood at Rainbow tonight looking at the V. cheese, and then remembered my vow to use up the food in my kitchen before buying more. Plus, I was secretly hoping I’d have a taker on my split-a-box offer. QM, you’re on.
I’m making mac & cheese tonight with goat and mozzarella cheeses–pretty high-brow stuff compared to where I’m headed.
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Velveeta Cheese Food is one of my favorites for toasted cheese sandwiches, to put in omelets, and to add to other dishes. QuionMonkey and ybonesy, I am working on a piece about the scalloped oysters which include…DAH, DAH…Velveeta Cheese Food. I think it should be its own food group on the food pyramid.
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Hmmm, that mac and cheese with goat and mozzarella cheeses sounds good. How was it, Teri? The ultimate comfort food.
Bob, I’m so happy you’re working on the a piece about the scalloped oysters. Can’t wait to read it. Yes, Velveeta should be its own food group!
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Brings back lots of memories, this does. Like you, I grew up with grilled cheese sandwiches made from Velveeta cheese. We’d toast them in the toaster oven, open face Velveeta sandwiches with a slice of tomato on top. I always liked the brown, burnt, crunchy parts. I’m still partial to burnt or crispy cheese.
Mom used to make her ham salad with Spam. There were quite a few processed foods in my childhood, now that I think about it.
Velveeta and peanut butter were staple foods for my husband and I during the early years of our marriage when we had very little money. Boxed mac & cheese, too. I used to make this dish called Country Casserole which consisted of elbow macaroni, baked beans, ground beef, and Velveeta cheese.
I still use Velveeta occasionally to make a cheesy dip for nachos, usually when our sons come to visit because that’s how they like it since it’s part of their childhood memories.
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Robin, something you said also reminded me of something in yb’s writing practice, about how processed foods are so much a part of our childhoods, yet many of our mothers were stay-at-home moms, so the rest of the meals we had (at least in my house) were home-cooked meals from fresh ingredients that our mothers prepared. There used to be much more of a balance between processed foods and those that were fresh. There has been a trend toward more processed and fast foods in the last 20 years, which the experts blame on the rise in the weight-gain of Americans. It’s just interesting how all of these things are connected. Food connected to memories of childhood, connected to what we sometimes crave today.
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diddy, tomato soup?!? That would make it soggy! And, just curious, is it Campbell’s Tomato Soup or homemade? (Campbell’s is definitely a childhood food.)
Teri, yes, that’s a pretty high-brow mac & cheese! I’m sure it’s delicious, although I have to say, if you ever make the boxed kind with the squeeze-out Velveeta package and see how creamy it is (which I do when I make it for my girls), it’s really hard to resist eating a few heaping spoonfuls. 8)
Bob, I can’t wait to read all about your scalloped oyster dish. It has intrigued me ever since you wrote about it at Thanksgiving.
Robin, my mom used to always make ham salad, too, although with ham. I’m not sure I’d like it with Spam. (Dad would.) My oldest sister one time made ham salad for our annual pilgrimmage to Costilla, and it was so yummy. I love ham salad. I need to make it for my girls some day. They love egg salad, tuna salad, and chicken salad.
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QM, that was the case in our house, too. Processed foods were expensive, and I think that’s partly why my mom only used a few kinds.
But speaking of the kinds she did buy: Vienna sausages—gross—did you guys ever eat those? Or Devil’s Food spread. We had those now and then. Yuck. But I still ate it, spread on white bread, usually with mustard and a pickle.
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yb, Campbell’s tomato soup is all I buy. And not soggy at all when you just dip a corner of the grilled cheese in & gobble it down right away. Most all of my soups are homemade, but I wouldn’t attempt tomato soup.
My Mom used to make ham salad out of ham. She would grind it in one of those grinders that hooked to the counter top & had the manual handle to grind the meat. I love Spam, as an adult. Although I had it as a child, I grew tired of it after awhile.
I’m also looking forward to Bob’s oyster post! Though I don’t like them, (long disgusting story) my Dad loves them!
I stock up on most frequently used food items, & only go to the grocery store about ever three weeks. I am known as the coupon queen to most of the clerks, usually saving between $25.00 & $30.00. D
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QM: My mother was different from most of the other mothers of my friends. She worked, sometimes two jobs. My father was a police officer, but must not have earned enough to support a wife and five children so Mom, as far as I can remember, always worked. She also made a good, home-cooked meal for us for dinner almost every evening (Friday nights were usually pizza — or “tomato pie” as my father called it — nights). Mashed potatoes were a regular feature and once I was old enough to do it, I was assigned the peeling of the potatoes. I used to dread coming home from school and finding the note “Robin, peel the potatoes for dinner.” I got very good at it. I can peel enough potatoes for 7+ in no time.
My mother has never been an adventurous cook (salt & pepper were just about the only spices she had and used), but she made some really comforting, yummy dishes. Her mac & cheese, ham & cabbage, and swiss steak are some of my favorites that I ask for when I go back to visit.
I didn’t mean to ramble about that. Mostly meant to say I agree with you about how interesting the food connections are. My parents stayed thin in spite of all those high-fat and yummy comfort foods, and now that you mention it, there was a good balance when it came to homecooked meals and processed foods. I think processed foods were a treat of sorts.
YB: The ham salad was okay with Spam, but I much prefer it made with ham. My mother-in-law taught me how to make her ham salad. I used to use one of those manual grinders that alittlediddy mentioned (so did my mother for her Spam salad), but I’ve updated to a food processor with a meat grinder. I think I might have been better off with the manual grinder. It’s not only a greener solution, but it works on my power, burning calories and saving money by not using electricity. And it works during a power outage!
My sons and husband love ham salad. So do I. I only make it about once or twice a year, usually around Christmas and/or Easter.
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Robin, I still own one of those grinders, but like you, I have a food processor, that has the ability to grind meat. Funny, how far we have come! Another memory from chilldhood was a percolator (sp?) in which my parents would make their coffee. My Mom also worked & has been retired for years, as a nurse at a State run psychiatric hospital. As crazy as our household was, I think it was a blessing for her to go to work there! D
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I’ve tasted the kind of ham salad made with a grinder, but my mom’s always was cut into little teeny tiny pieces. I guess we didn’t have a grinder, and knowing Mom and her meat and egg aversions, she might not have cared for grinding meat.
After school we’d make our own version of ham salad…but with bologna. Little tiny chopped piece of bologna, chopped pickles, chopped celery, mayo, and sometimes chopped Colby cheese. Yum.
I’m amazed by both your mothers, diddy and Robin. And, QM, your mother worked, too, yes? That they put in their hours at a job and then did all the cooking. What sacrifices they made, bless their hearts.
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I know people who take a hunk of Velveeta, melt it, and mix in salsa. Not me, though. I’m a cheese snob too. i like the idea of dipping grilled cheese in salsa, though. My grandfather used to put ketchup on his scrambled eggs.
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Yuck, I hate ketchup! Brant does the same thing with eggs & anything for that matter. That, and also pepper. My grandson has some kinda yucky taste, at least in my mind. But, I figure if he likes & eats it, what the heck! D
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Hey, i don’t usually share links to my work on other people’s sites, but I thought you’d get a kick out of this little story I wrote a while back, about Velveeta. It’s true, too!
http://www.terra-media.us/burst/cultural_gifts1.htm
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I’m so glad you shared the link with us, as it’s so very related! What a gift—moldy Velveeta. Hmmm…I wonder how long Velveeta will last. I didn’t check the expiration date on the box I bought, but it must last pretty long. It’s made to not have to refrigerate until after you open it.
That gifts beats a fruitcake!
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