My first and probably last food fight was a snowy Thanksgiving in Missoula, Montana. I was in my 20’s, and since my family lived half way across the country, due East, I formed community with other Montana transplants.
There was Bev from Ohio, K.D. from Los Angeles, Mary from Pennsylvania, Gail from Minnesota, Leslie from Iowa, Lynne from Idaho, to name only a few. Many of us came to Montana via college, the University of Montana, and loved it so much we decided to stay. Others followed friends out West. I had always dreamed of living in the West. One day I just did it; I picked up and moved.
The food fight was after a Thanksgiving feast: big old Butterball turkey, smashed potatoes with skins, homemade gravy and biscuits, cranberries, cornbread stuffing, and pumpkin pies. Back then we all drank, so there was lots of alcohol around. I don’t drink much anymore, a glass of wine on occasion. But then it was different. I would return years later for a reunion of these same friends, and many had gone into recovery. It was good to visit with them sober and clean.
There were a few native Montanans in our group, friends who knew the lay of the land. Some grew up in eastern Montana, Billings, some in the western areas of Great Falls, Missoula, Bozeman, and Helena. I would end up visiting these places over the course of the time I lived there, skiing the valleys, hiking the mountains. I lived in a two-story yellow house on Orange Street near the tracks, when there were no strip malls on Reserve Street, just a series of grassy fields.
The food fight was a culmination of hours of planning, cooking, talking, eating, and playing live music. At the time, we had a drum set, McCartney-style bass, keyboard, and a whole array of random percussion instruments in a basket in the corner. We usually played music together on the Holidays, anything from Joni Mitchell to Neil Young to lots of bluegrass — it was Montana in the 70’s.
That Thanksgiving I ended up with mashed potatoes in my hair. Bev threw a biscuit that landed in a ladle of gravy and splashed up on to our shirts. There were cranberry stains on the table cloth that never came out. I remember those days in Montana as good times, even though we all had our problems. We acted, well, we acted like we had not lived as much life as we have lived now.
Food is a metaphor for substance, nutrition, community, family, and friendship. Food is used to show love and nurturing. Food is mother’s milk. Food is not to be wasted. But it’s not good to take oneself too seriously. A good food fight once in a while never hurt anyone. Still, in some places, food can be scarce.
I have often thought of working in community service over the Holidays, something like a soup kitchen or a food bank. I’ve never done it. But I’m keenly aware this time of year that there are people in this country who don’t have enough to eat. They can’t afford it. You don’t have to go to other parts of the world to see how people without enough money to afford food struggle to make ends meet. How people sometimes have to make choices between healthcare and food.
I know a woman, a single parent, who has five children, temps for work in a corporate office, and has no health insurance. It’s available to her through her temp agency, but by the time she purchases it for herself and her five kids, she doesn’t have a paycheck left. She told me she’s one of those people who falls between the cracks. She works hard but makes too much money to apply for additional support for health insurance.
When faced with hard choices, she chooses nutrition for her family. I guess that’s a different kind of fight — the fight for everyone in this country to have healthcare and plenty of food.
-posted on red Ravine, Saturday, December 20th, 2008
-related to Topic post: WRITING TOPIC – COOKING FIASCOS
QM, I’m up late reading your great food fight story. I had one myself at Thanksgiving with friends in the 70’s. One girl brought along a guy she was dating that had amnesia and was relearning to use a fork. I think the rest of us got tired of watching and starting throwing food at each other.
A woman with 5 kids and no health insurance shouldn’t happen..but I know it does. My sister raised 3 kids by herself without it. She was so poor I remember her buying everything those kids needed through a company called Fingerhut so she could make payments. I think she told me she even bought a washer from them! Heck, I didn’t even know you could. Mothers can be very resourceful when the need is there for their families. When I hear people complaining at work, I remind them of how lucky they are. My Family is blessed to all be employed. California has been hit very hard. I pray for those that are not doing well. This time of year can be very hard on people.
BTW QM, I wanted to ask…which instrument did you play?
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heather, strange story about the guy with amnesia. That must be such a strange feeling! You have the most amazing tales.
Yes, I agree, a woman with 5 kids should not have to go through that. But you are also right in that women are very resourceful when it comes to taking care of their kids. I’m still amazed at how most of the burden of caregiving to children falls with the mother. Of course, there are exceptions, and even in my own family. But generally, I sure wish more fathers took responsibility for their own children.
Minnesota has lost many jobs over the last month. I don’t think it’s over yet. I was watching Bill Moyers Journal this weekend and he was talking about that strike that happened in Illinois, where people in a plant there protested because they got a 3 day notice of a plant closing and then found out the company was going to open the plant somewhere else using non-union labor. Also the bank who wouldn’t extend the loan had gotten part of the bail-out money (which no one but the banks are making use of) and so they were even calling the bank to task in their protest. Quite insightful. I wasn’t for that bailout (with no guidelines at all on how the money would be spent) and have yet to see how it’s going to help the average person. But you bring up a good point — people figure out how to make things work the best they can.
What instrument did I play? Well, I played the drums in junior high so I dabbled a little on those. But Gail was the one who usually played the drums. So I also dabbled in the bass which I really enjoyed. But you know what I played the most? I played the spoons on the bluegrass pieces. I actually got pretty darned good at them. 8) Do you play an instrument, heather? I learned to play the guitar in college but haven’t picked it up for ages. I always wished I had learned the piano. But, you know, my hands are so small.
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QM, the food fight sounds like loads of fun. I was just thinking about how much lightness it would take to allow the food to fly. You know what I mean? Not worrying about the gravy stain in the shirt or whether mashed potatoes land on the back of the good chair. My house painter insisted on a light sheen in the kitchen; he must have been anticipating food fighting. 8)
The other day I told Jim that we might not be getting 2009 pay increases. That’s OK, he said, you’re fortunate to have a job. And I am. All of us who are employed are so fortunate.
Where did the Illinois company go that was non-union? I’m curious, because so many countries have traditions of unions. Vietnam, China, most of Europe (including Eastern), most of Latin America, parts of India. There are very few low-cost places to go that have no unions. Whenever I hear politicians say that US unions are the reason companies leave, I shake my head.
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ybonesy, I can’t remember for sure. It was a city in this country though where they could choose to not use Union labor. The guest on Moyers was praising the protesters because she said that’s the only way the higher ups are going to be called to task on the bail-out mess — if the little people start to take their power back. I’ll have to try to find an online link to the program. As usual, it always opens my eyes. There was another segment on the privatization of military housing contracts by the Bush administration and how several of those companies have gotten millions of dollars and still haven’t delivered the goods.
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Oh, ybonesy, about Unions, I actually heard someone on NPR say that they (Unions) were an antiquated notion in today’s world and the way the job market and economy work. I had to do a double take. I grew up in a totally pro-Union family and union workers tend to be some of the best paid workers out there because they have had advocates that have fought to have their wages and benefits keep up with inflation. Most of the rest of us who are non-Union seem to lose more and more of our perks every year.
But, of course, Unions aren’t always the solution. We saw Northwest Airlines here go downhill over the last 10 years and finally dissolve into something else. In spite of all the Union efforts, NW employees took pay cuts and there were lots of job losses. Who knows what a good solution is anymore. Things are changing so quickly.
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Ha! My first food fight was when I was in my early 20’s. About 15 of us decided to have a picnic at my house. Everyone was to bring a covered dish. One of the guys had no idea what to bring, so he brought 4 huge watermelons & a bottle of vodka. His thought was to cut a hole in the melons & pour in the vodka. Well, one bottle only serviced one of the melons, so he smashed the other three & everyone just started grabbing handfuls & began throwing them at each other. Very sticky & messy! It also invited many ants to the picnic! But, I was grateful that this occured outside my home! D
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diddy, watermelon sounds kind of fun in a food fight, as long as you ducked when the big green chunks of its thick skin came flying your way. Wow, that might hurt. Can’t think of anything juicier though. Yum. I remember a little watermelon patch we had in Belvedere. I bet Daddy remembers it — way, way in the back corner of our sandspur-filled lot. J. might even remember it, too. Watermelon was really big in the summers down there.
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well, QM. My Father was forever swaping things with people who didn’t have money. When I was nine, I remember the old upright piano coming through the door. Those lessons didn’t last long because, of course, no one cool played the piano…they played the drums. My Dad was wise enough to know the racket drums would make and we settled on a kazoo. Strange choice, I know.
When I was a teen I wanted to play electric guitar so my Dad enrolled me in the local Junior college he was teaching night classes at. I was extremely shy and when I learned I had to play in front of other students…I was mortified and that came to an abrupt end.
At 40, my husband brought home the most beautiful acoustic guitar that had been owned by a famous county singer with the last name McCoy. (I don’t know much about Country). I hired a great teacher and loved watching him play it so much, hell, I never learned anything myself! I just let him sing his own songs!
Funny thing is, after all these years, I have a friend that goes and shoots photographs of the Nomads and Amdo Tribe in Tibet and then brings me back handicrafts they make for me to sell in the Gallery. I always like to send something for the kids so I sent about 200 kazoos. He took them with him and told me “those kids are at about 9000 feet and won’t know what to do with a kazoo!”. He said he awoke in his tent one morning out in the middle of no where and heard this buzzing sound. He stepped out to a whole group of kids…playing their kazoos. 😉 Ahhh, life goes on.
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heather, yeah, drums tend to make quite the racket! Now the kazoo, that sounds like a great choice. Love the story of your friend taking the 200 kazoos to Tibet and waking up to the sound of the kids playing them. Kids always know what to do to make beautiful music. heather, I hope you write a book someday. I find your stories fascinating, refreshing, and always so honest. Then add in your amazing photographs and you’ve got it made. Always a pleasure to chat with you. 8)
Oh, I’ll have to check into the country singer. I’m not as up on country as I once was when my parents listened to it. I know more about the classic country singers than I do modern country. Is there a Charlie McCoy? Now I have to look that up later. Do you still have the guitar?
I was listening to MPR this morning and they were interviewing Paul McCartney about the process of writing the music for his new CD. I guess he collaborated with another group on it. It was so interesting to hear about the way he wrote music and lyrics.
He said in the old days, they’d have poetry books around, like Ferlinghetti, and they’d page through the books and look for beautiful words or phrases like “Silent Running.” So those bits of poetry would jumpstart his songwriting. I just thought that was so beautiful. And then with the collaboration, they’d leave some bits recorded, then someone else would come and add more to it. Really great process.
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I didn’t know that about McCartney! Fascinating! He was always my favorite and I had the biggest crush on him for years. When I was a kid, I used to dream of one day meeting him.
I think I may have been 29 when one of my childhood guy friends started dating a dear friend of mine. He was very wealthy and he surprised she and I with front row/ center tickets when McCartney toured with Wings. I can actually say Paul and I made eye contact because I enthusiastically sang every song loudly with the band. The funniest part of this story was that I was disapointed that no one witnessed me in these 3000 dollar seats so I could feel La-Dee-Dah. No one’s ever there when you are doing something great…
When I got to work on Monday, one of the pressman came up to me and mentioned he was at the concert, in the ceiling seats, looking through his binoculars…and low and behold “H” was dancing in the front! I was so happy, I never ask him why a “Head Banging Metal Head” was at Wings!
and yes, QM, I still own the beautiful guitar. I put it in my set at the gallery for Halloween as one of the Haunted Mariachi instruments. It seems everyone but me knows who Neil McCoy is…
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Heather, I didn’t recognize Neal McCoy’s name but when I looked him up and saw his photograph, I was like, of course, I know who he is! I don’t know his music though. I’m adding a link to his bio for others who might not know who he is. I like the informalness of his biography. And also that he and his wife give back to the world in this way:
From Neal McCoy’s Biography on his Official Website (LINK):
Good deeds:
Neal and Melinda founded the East Texas Angel Network (ETAN) in 1995. Their foundation provides financial assistance to families of children with serious illnesses. So far, the organization has raised 3.5 million dollars for the children of East Texas.
BTW, Paul McCartney & Wings were huge back in the day, right after the Beatles broke up. He and Linda really rocked together. Liz and I recently watched an Iconoclasts show on Sundance with Paul’s daughter, Stella, who is a designer. She’s got a good head on her shoulders. I think she’s going to go far.
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Thanks QM! Now I know more! I cracked up on the “press jeans” part. Cool that his concert was with the Carpenters.
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