yellow rivers by I.P. Freely, doodle © 2008 by ybonesy. All rights reserved.
I had a flashback the other day. I had to pee badly, so I ran into the bathroom, unzipped my jeans, peed, wiped, flushed, and walked out of the bathroom while pulling up my pants. Suddenly I saw my mom, 30 years earlier, doing the exact same thing.
She did it all the time. Ran into the bathroom, peed, walked out while pulling up her pants. No closing the door. Just pee and run.
One time I had just come home from school with my boyfriend and two friends in tow. We walked through the front door, turned the corner toward the kitchen, and there was Mom, heading out of the green bathroom off the entryway while pulling up her Bermuda shorts over white nylon panties, the toilet flushing in the background.
She must have said something like “Oh my!” but all I remember is, she was embarrassed, I was deathly embarrassed, and my boyfriend and two friends were speechless.
Yet, that was such a “Mom” thing. She never closed the bathroom door when she peed.
And now, I seem to have inherited that trait.
Besides the obvious aspects of our peeing proclivities (the fact that we don’t wash our hands when at home and that we’ve fallen into this loosey goosey don’t-care-if-someone’s-in-the-next-room groove whenever our pants are down) I’ve gained another insight from this flashback.
I realized that I never bother to close the door when I pee because, frankly, I don’t have time. I’ll be standing at the sink washing the dishes and then, BOOM, it hits me. I have to pee! (In Spanish, they say, “Me estoy meando,” which literally means, “I am peeing on me!”)
Maybe it’s a familial thing. Maybe it’s from having babies. Maybe it’s the last thing I ought to be sharing about myself on the blog, but for whatever reason, once my brain registers “I need to pee,” my pee seems to scream, “I need out!”
Sure, I can wiggle and squeeze and even do what my sister (who used to work with toddlers) fondly calls “the pee-pee dance.” And in a professional setting I somehow manage to hold it until I reach the bathroom. But when I’m in the comfort and safety of my home, I have a tendency to push the envelope and barely make it to the bathroom.
So I’m thinking, if I have this problem, I bet Mom also had it; ergo, Mom never closed the door when she peed because, like me, she suffered from stress incontinence.
There are other signs, too. Jim plays this trick on me whenever we shop for groceries where when we get to the aisle with toothpaste and shampoo, he waits until someone is within earshot and then yells, “Honey, don’t forget your Depends!” Then he zooms off with the cart in the other direction, leaving me facing the person who’s just come down our aisle.
And there was that one time I got a coughing fit at the grocery store. I was eight months pregnant with Em, and Dee was about three years old. With an almost baked eight-pound baby pressing down on my uterus, every time I coughed I peed just a bit in my pants. (Actually, I was wearing leggings over a maternity top.) Fortunately the coughing finally stopped, allowing me to finish up our shopping and head to the check-out line.
There we were, standing in line. One lady was in front of us, one man behind. Being shy around strangers, Dee clung to my legs. I could feel her little hand probing around the spot where my leggings were soaked, so I tried to push her away, but before I could she looked up at me, eyes wide, and said, “Mama, you peed in your pants!”
I tried to ignore her but that only made her think I couldn’t hear, so she backed up a bit and yelled this time.
“MA-MA, you’re wet DOWN THERE, you PEED in your PANTS!”
I bent down and whispered in her ear that if she stopped talking and went over to find the kind of gum she liked, I’d buy it for her. As she disappeared around the point-of-purchase display, I looked at the three people staring at me—the cashier, the woman checking out, and the man behind me—shrugged, smiled, and gazed back down at my cart.
Truth is, though, I don’t think I technically suffer from stress incontinence. I mean, stress incontinence is a pretty serious issue, and once you get to reading about the many incontinences there are—stress, urge, overactive bladder, functional, overflow, mixed, transient—well, I’m not ready to go there.
My little problem? A bad family habit of peeing and fleeing. Or fleeing, peeing, and fleeing. That’s all.
I just need to listen to my body and get to the bathroom more frequently. And I need to start closing the door before my girls inherit our trait.
I know. My apologies. Too much information.
But hey! Can’t argue with honesty, can one??
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Nope, one can’t.
Thanks for stopping by, Norm. Glad to know my pee confessions didn’t scare a new reader from commenting. 8)
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lol
I love that you’ll take on even the squidgy topics. I could tell you how this is relevant to my existence right now thanks to a violent, racking, horrible cough, but I”ll spare you.
Good luck with the flee-pee thing.
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I almost wet myself reading this. Flee and Pee!
It was a standing jokein my household that every Thanksgiving– or whatever “sit-down” meal, everyone is there but Mom – Where’s mom? oh she had to pee…
on the Don’t you wait until everything is done, there, on the table, or spoons in the pots, and suddenly you realize you have been holding it for hours? Rip off the apron….down the hall…where’s mom?
We saw a coyote today on our road, BTW – and a scorpion in the house!
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ybonesy, brave, brave one you are! I just read this piece out loud to Liz and we were both cracking up when it got to the part about Dee in the grocery store when she was 3 years old. Hilarious when you ignored her, she backed up and repeated for the whole world to hear!
I know many women are going through this at different stages as we all age. For some it’s really serious. And menopause is no picnic. So many different body shifts. It’s bound to happen. Why not get it out in the open?
I was amazed at all the different kinds of UI one can get. I had no idea. I had a hysterectomy in my 40’s and did the Kegel Exercises afterwards for a time to help strengthen those muscles. Have you ever done those? They feel a bit strange. That’s a good link in your post. Lots of options.
I’m never surprised anymore by what flies out from the inkwell of your pen and on to the blog pages of red Ravine!
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How delightfully, charmingly human you are. Shall we take a poll on how many close the door at home? (So far there are two of us.) I think my mother did always close the door though. And OMG, you don’t wash your hands at home?! Wow, now it takes true courage to admit that, way more than a soggy crotch.
I have a three-year-old granddaughter and I can just imagine her in Dee’s place. She would do that.
Thanks for being really, really you, and for teaching me a useful Spanish phrase!
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P.S. I forgot to mention how much I enjoyed the doodles.
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Yes, what flows out of your fingers, I agree with QM – should we be shocked? I P Freely!- that is hilarious, you actually used that pseudonym, like a 5th grader. I love it.
I found out from my daughter when she was 30 years old (!) that she NEVER sits down on a public toilet seat. Never! She learned the “hover technique” from her grandmother (not my side of the family) – I had no idea.
…as for UTI – the very best thing is tincture of Uva Ursi and cornsilk – helps so much.
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Ybonesy, so glad you are getting down to some practical writing. Every woman over a certain age can relate – guaranteed!
And we are always so busy, don’t we hold it to the last possible second. No wonder we all dash to the John. Though I managed to close the door when kids were around. You’ve got girls – I had a boy in the middle and so it always seemed more appropriate. But now that it’s just Mr. Bo and me, I never bother. Is that bad? I should ask him if he minds – he closes the damn door when he’s in there for gosh sakes.
Hey, I love the catch phrase flee and pee. And I P Freely. Really now. I love it! Reminds me of all the fake Halloween gravestones that go up in our neighborhood at this time of year:
V Agra
May B Knot
Al B Rightback
B A Ghoul
C U Lader
I M Gone
Yule B Next
Hee Hee! Now if you start laughing, go to the John before you wet your pants! 🙂
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yb, this is so funny! I have been blessed with a huge bladder, or maybe I just retain a lot of fluids. I lean toward the gassy side when it comes to bodily functions. Silent yet deadly. So embarrassing in public. I have many friends with the same problem as you. I blame it on teeny tiny bladders. I have often said that I thought it would be so much easier if women could pee out of their big toe. Driving somewhere & gotta pee? Simply pull over & stick your foot out the door. Of course this would be difficult if one is wearing panty hose, but then hose & socks could easily be redesigned with an escape route built into the toe area.
Anyhow, this post made me laugh so much I almost had to pee! Thanks for the laughs! D
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Glad you enjoyed it, goyles! I had to write it and run (to the airport). On the plane ride to PDX (I’m now in downtown Portland), I came up with a conversation between I.P. Freely and another author from those good ol’ prankster days. I’ll post that sometime in the next few days.
See how purging your most embarrassing secrets helps let all the rest of the stuff flow?
diddy, I’d love to pee out of my big toe. I have two “peeing in a car” stories from my youth—one involves my dad and a beer bottle and the other me and a tennis ball can. Ah, pee—it’s a rich topic. 8)
Bo, yeah, I thought this might end up being something every woman could relate to. Ha! Let me know what Mr. Bo says about the door thing. Maybe he doesn’t notice…you know how our habits just become so normal.
lil, yes, the hover technique. I know it. Also, your daughter’s habit made me think how there are some women in public bathrooms who *always* use the little toilet cover papers that are supplied and some who *never* use them. Which one are you? Guess what I am? (I bet we’re the same.)
Oh, and a scorpio. Holy toledo, batman. Yikes. Did you take a photo??
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amuirin, bless your heart. Hopefully you’re making frequent trips to the bathroom.
Hey, you know what started the coughing spat in the grocery store that time I was pregnant? They had chips and peanuts and all sorts of free samples out for shoppers, and I took a handful of something, and OMG, it went down the wrong throat, as my daughters say. Cough-pee-cough-pee-cough-pee…
QM, yeah, I know Kegels. They sound like a Yiddish dessert, don’t they? But yeah, I never quite did as many as I should have, but I do recall sitting at red lights and squeezing. I think I always got the pelvis tilt wrong though. 8)
ritergal, your soggy crotch comment made me LOL. 8) Well, I do wash my hands when I get to the kitchen after I’ve peed, because usually then I need to do something in the kitchen. Plus, that’s where I keep my lemon verbena soap from Trader Joe’s. But yeah, I’ve been known to not go into the kitchen as a next stopping place and continue on my way without washing. Although, I have to say, only when peeing. And isn’t there something about pee being really antispectic? Or was that one of my mom’s wive’s tales? (Or, rather, her mom’s.)
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diddy, I’ll write about farts some day, as I come from a long line of tooters myself. 8) (When I have more time, I really do need to look up that comment string where we went off on a fart comment rampage. That was hilarious!)
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I P Freely also. One of the damn things about getting old is that whenever I’m away from home these days, getting the lay of the land, wherever, I just have to suss out where the nearest bathroom is located. can a depends moment be much more near? Yep, unfortunately.
I love the candor of young children and Dee announcing her discovery of your wet pants to the world at large is too funny – so very much how little children are. naturally timing is everything – and they have unfailing ability to pick the most embarrassment prone moments to make their observations.
I have an Arizona trip pee story. Talk about the need for thick vegetation when the urge strikes whilst driving down a straight desert highway, and of course there is none for miles. Yikes. G
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i have seen traits from parents too–it was a omg moment–they become more frequent
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Ybonesy, The title is hilarious. It reminded me of the pseudonym that Jim used on the tribal police when we got caught mtn biking on pueblo land…Ben Dover.
Jim is a funny guy.
MM
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lil, if you come back to this post, I was wondering if you could say more about the tincture you mentioned and its healing qualities. Is it something you would drop into hot tea like an infusion? I had not heard that combination before.
…as for UTI – the very best thing is tincture of Uva Ursi and cornsilk – helps so much.
Bo, I like your gravestone names. Almost time for trick-or-treaters in the neighborhood!
ybonesy, we’ll be waiting to see which one you and lil do with the toilet paper covers (#11). 8) By the way, I always wash my hands now; it’s a habit. But I did it less when I lived alone. Now with all the cats around, seems like a good idea!
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QM, do you use the toilet seat paper cover?
mimbresman, that Jim, he’s funny. He really does have a wicked sense of humor. His mom does—that’s where they got it.
Scot, it’s such a strange thing when those traits hit you over your head. 8)
G., you should do a post about your Arizona moment. That sounds pretty awful, because there you are out in the desert, probably wanting to drink some water, but you can’t!
I was once walking at night with a friend in Taos on Kit Carson Rd. along the K.C. Park, and this guy came very quietly behind us and I screamed when I realized he was there. That got me into a laughing fit, and then, oh-oh, I had to jump over the little wall and pee in the K.C. Park. At night. I had no choice.
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ybonesy, well, yes and no. I usually don’t use them unless the bathroom is unusually dirty. Or in something like a porta-potty. Then YES. Was that your guess? What about you, yb?
Funny story about Kit Carson Park. I’ll never look at it the same way again. BTW, was it winter? You know what they say – never eat yellow snow!
And what is it about running water and how it makes us need to run to the bathroom if we are on the edge of having to go. Or is that just me? And is it only women that experience that?
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I tried those wax paper seat covers once or twice in airport bathrooms, but they stuck to my legs when I stood up, so that is very annoying.
I believe that urine is sterile, at least at first. Running water certainly works as a stimulus in case of “bladder lock” lol
Those long Arizona highways – I drank way too much coffee in Las Vegas and could not make it all the way to Kingman without damage. Just use the car doors as a shield and watch out for the cactus.
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Thanks for asking, QM – I tend to get bladder infections, emotionally caused, if I am really’pissed off ‘ about something I can’t do anything about. I have found that uva ursi tincture, by itself, wipes out microbial infections and yeast – get the kind with cornsilk, which is soothing– taken as a squirt in a little water every 15 min until it starts to relieve symptoms, then frequently for several days, will clear up an acute case. It’s a probiotic herb, really good for the eliminative system. The trouble with treating UTI with antibiotic, besides the whole resistance issue, is it destroys the good bacteria which is needed. Always follow with acidofilus, and take lots of vitamin C. Usually self-limiting to a few days with this regimen. A few miserable days!
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One bit of advice: women over 50 should never camp next to a roaring river, especially when there are trains crossing on the opposite side of the river every 30 minutes. One long night of peeing in the nearest bushes is the result.
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lil, thanks for all the great info on the uva ursi tincture(#21). I think it’s good to share what works with everyone. I feel lucky I’ve only had one UTI in my lifetime. It was painful – would not want to repeat that experience. 😦 I do have other physical things I have to work on though.
Hey, this is going to sound crazy — but would that tincture work for UTI’s in cats? Pants is susceptible to them. And Kiev, about once every few years. We usually go the antibiotic route but I wondered about alternatives. It’s so painful for them when they have one. They let out these yelping howls.
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Bo, your comments always make me smile. Were those passenger trains? 8)
ybonesy, hope Portland is going well today. I’d like to visit there again someday. It’s been a while since I’ve been to the coast, too. Portland’s a great city.
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http://constantchangeisthenorm.blogspot.com/2008/10/words-to-live-by.html
Your post sparked some memories that I shared here – similar but different circumstance; self inflicted…. but from a man’s point of view. Enjoy.
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LOL…….me no closey door when me pee either! It’s something I’ve picked up from having toddlers who freaked when I closed a door in their face……and sometimes I talk on the phone to my mother whilst on the loo……atrocious. Don’t tell anyone, you hear!
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Try uva ursi drops in the cat’s water, preventively – can’t hurt. Also sprinkle vit C powder in food, sparingly.
Male cats neutered too young have anatomical anomalies that cause UTIs. Very bad veterinary policy they have going now, neutering the kitties.
About the scorpion – it crawled off under a heavy armoire and I was afraid to look for it. yb, you said “scorpio” – and that’s the sign we’ve just entered today.
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QM, if your cats are males they will get UTI’s very often. One thing to watch for is the ash content in their food as it can cause blockages. Not a good thing & I once had a male cat who eventually had to have his penis removed. Seriously. I can’t remember how low the ash content should be, however check with you Vet. The blockage can be deadly to cats.
yb, I’ll bet your car peeing experiences are very similar to what has happened to me on canoe trips down the river. An empty Pringles can & a poncho for privacy were essentials for me in the past!
I remember so many truck drivers who would quit & the guys in the shop would have the ugly task of cleaning their trucks out for the next guy. We had one driver who quit & they found 18 empty iced tea containers in the truck. Beware of those bottles you see along the highway.
And I don’t know of anywhere that offers the toilet seat covers anymore. I suppose we are just going to have to hover in public restrooms. D
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Oops, I should have said the iced tea containers were refilled. You guessed it, with pee. Yuck. D
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QM – I don’t think they were passenger trains, but at those frantic moments, I didn’t give a hoot. It was cold and I was trying to get back into my sleeping bag. And it was super dark in that canyon – except for those shining eyes watching me from the nearest trees. Eeeek! I really do love to camp, but not with a train/Colorado River combo playing lullabies.
ybonesy – Mr. Bo says he doesn’t care if I pee door open or door closed, just as long as I “stay potty trained.” What the hell kind of a response was that? I hope when I’m 80 he still loves me… 🙂
And as far as using the public pit stops – I was taught the “hover method” too and still go for it. Wonder how long my legs will hold out? There’s always lining the seat with toilet paper, too, in a dire emergency. Man – now that I think about it, I didn’t teach my girls any of these hand me down lessons. What kind of mom was I???
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Some great comments in this thread. Norm, your story reminds me of when I worked at the downtown Borders in Block E. Same kind of deal with the tinted windows. I was working the cash register that night and turned around to this guy peeing against the tinted window. Well, it was kind of a seedy area — corporate types mixed with crazy kids, women and men in fur coats headed to the dance club, and the homeless, all in the same area. Crazy things were always happening down there!
Jo, the toddlers — ayyeeeee!
lil and diddy, thanks for the cat tips. I didn’t know about the ash. I told Liz about both of your tips and we’re going to check it out. Preventative is the way to go. I didn’t know about the early surgeries having that kind of an effect.
Bo, the hover method seems popular in this thread. I do use that one at times when the seat is wet. Nothing worse than plopping down on a wet seat! Somehow, I think he will love you forever. You just seem like the kind, humor-filled, and lovable type!
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Great pee-conversation goin’ on here. And Norm’s pee-tale was quite amusing.
QM, nope, I didn’t make yellow snow that night in Taos. And, lil, wax-paper toilet seat shields? I can see where those might be hard to use. At most places I see them, they’re more like tracing paper. I don’t use them, but every time I’m in a women’s stall and hear the person in the stall next to me pull one out (you can tell by how it crinkles), I wonder what it is that makes so lax on germs. You know how the mind works—always has to wonder about something. 8)
lil and QM, good conversation on the UTI remedies. I’ve never had one but hear they are painful. Glad to know what to do in the event I need that.
I have a funny story about kids and urine tests, but I won’t share here. Might be something my kids get made at me for divulging when they’re older. (And even now.)
jo, true confessions. I do the same. But, I have to tell you, once I was in a conference call with a bunch of work people, and all of a sudden we all hear a toilet flushing in the background. Everyone starting laughing, and the guy who did it for some bizarre reason actually apologized for not muting. I think if it would have been me, I would have played dumb. 8)
Bo, I like Mr. Bo’s answer. Good sense of humor, that one. 8)
QM, I had to once do a hover method worthy of the Olympics, in a bathroom in the markets of Shanghai, which were essentially tiled canals with pee running down them. Peeing from a standing position on other people’s pee—well, you can imagine the splatter effect. So it was a half-standing hover with legs WIDE apart. Worthy of its own post, although doubtful I’ll write about that one. 8)
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Bo, funny about camping by the roaring river. I wonder if that bushes near there have had their share of moisture. 8)
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ybonesy, your Shanghai story reminds me of one a friend of mine told me about the bathrooms in Malaysia — same kind of thing. She had to balance on her haunches and yet manage not to touch anyone else’s, well, you know. Suffice it say, she wasn’t good at the balancing act and ended up falling in — several times. AHG.
diddy, forgot to mention, your truck drivers story is scary. I’ll think twice before ever picking up an iced tea bottle on the road again (#28). I mean 18 iced tea containers filled to the brim in one truck? YUK!
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I suspect that the hover method is the reason that most of us come across the wet seats in public restrooms. I always make sure the seat is dry when I leave, but for the most part, I have come to the conclusion that women are really pigs when I enter & look around. I wonder if Mens restrooms are equally disgusting?
I remember a time when J & I dropped off the boys at their biological Mothers’ house & stopped at a local sportmans club for dinner & a few drinks. The bartender had shut off a guest that had too much to drink. (thanks to his member friend) The guest came up to the bar area & had to pee, which he did, in a trash can that was for recyclables. The police were called & I was a witness to the event. Yikes! So much for my dinner! D
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Oh, & yes QM, those bottles are gross. I could tell you some even worse stories, but I’ll save them & share them with you in person. D
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diddy, make sure I haven’t recently eaten when you tell me those stories! I don’t have the strongest stomach. It seems like Liz and I are always sitting down to dinner when CSI or Bones comes on with visuals of inhuman detail in body fluids and parts. 8)
Oh, diddy, men’s bathrooms are BY FAR the worst. I’ve done the overflow thing in them before and they smell to high heaven. Plus there’s the drip factor. UGH. I’ve also worked jobs where I had to clean the bathrooms (a long, long time ago) and believe me, you don’t want to know. I’d take a women’s bathroom any day, hands down!
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Thank you for a good laugh tonight..god love you!! 🙂
My Mother is somewhat like yours…she never closed the door, and she always carried on a conversation as if she were peeling potatoes or something. She still does that..problem is she expects my sister and me to do the same. It is not my preference, but when at my Mother’s she follows me in there and keeps talking like I am peeling potatoes. hee, hee
I love your openness!
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Umm, I remembered another pee story. We have a rule at our house to put the lid down & close the door to our bathrooms. One day when our grandson Brant was here & had to pee, he went to our powder room. Shortly after I heard our yellow lab lapping up water from the toilet. “Brant, did you put the lid down?” His answer was “No.” “Did you flush?” His answer was “No, but I washed my hands!” D
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Wow, I think I love you and we only just met.
😉
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LOL, Elizabeth! Amazing what pee confessions can do. 8)
I never knew pee was such a rich vein, or, um, stream.
suz, maybe peeing with the door open is a generational thing. HA! As if you’re peeling potatoes. I love that!
Although, I, too, can keep a conversation going with my girls or with Jim as I’m walking into the bathroom to pee. Jim gets really mad, but not so much that I’ve gone off to pee, just that I walk off while we’re talking. He’s like, We’re talking….where are you going?? And I keep talking, just that now I’m yelling. That really bugs him.
diddy, ugh. 8)
QM, the very worst are porta potties. Oh, I really get grossed out in those. Especially with the little urinal right at your face level while you’re hovering (because, you know, you’re bending over to hover).
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I have found that my bladder grows wiser with age. It now knows when I am about 2 blocks from the house and causes a sensation that tells me I better hurry or I will have a wet pair of jeans. I must walk slowly to avoid disturbing my bladder. I walk nonchalantly as I approach the front stairs. I climb them slowly. I am almost home. I climb the stairs to the porch. I have me keys in hand. I know I don’t have much time before the flood begins. I fumble with the keys. Damn! I unlock the screen door. Emergency. Emergency. I unlock the front door. I begin to dance. In winter its worse because I must take off my coat and scarf and shoed. I am crossing my legs, hip-hopping around the floor. I dash to the bathroom. I don’t shut the door because I live alone. I undo my belt, unzip my pants….I can’t hold it any longer….But I do. I must. I can’t wet my pants at the grand old age of 57. I get settled on the toilet and sigh with relief. I made it. My bladder relaxes and giggles. I can feel it laughing. It made the old man run.
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well I think this topic has now run its course.
(all in the family) ….KerrrrrSplush!!
“Here comes Archie now!”
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excuse me, can you fix that
“Here comes Archie now!”
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Fixed it, lil. Yeah, it’s sputtered out, or peetered out.
Although, on kid’s cartoons this Sat morning, a television commercial for “Water Babies—squeeze ’em and they pee” (or some such tag line). 8)
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Bob, HA! The old man run.
I was in the shower this morning, thinking of this post for some reason. I remembered one time I actually peed in my pants (or, well, denim skirt). I was 18, living with my sister Bobbi. I came home one night after having been out with my boyfriend and while standing in front of the door trying to find my key, I realized how badly I needed to pee. I hopped about, trying so hard to find my key, couldn’t find the key, couldn’t find the key, and ‘lo and behold, I peed right there standing in front of the front door, the porch light on.
Just at that moment my sister opened the front door, she must have heard me making noise out there. I stepped from the light, afraid she’d see my wet boots, and as I stepped away I saw a big wet spot where I’d been standing. I don’t know if she ever noticed; she never said anything. But now she’ll know, as she reads my blog. 8)
I saw a Diane Sawyer interview last week with comedian Sarah Silverman in which Sarah admitted to once being a bedwetter. Of course, with Silverman you never know when she’s being facetious or not, but it made me think of how taboo the topic of Peeing in ones Pants is.
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This was fun. I could add tales of woe from a man’s perspective, but that’s too much information.
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[…] been married for 15 years. Butts: Hey, I noticed that red Ravine used your name for a title on a post about bathroom habits and stress incontinence. That might generate a stream of opportunities for you. Freely: Doubtful, although I was pleased […]
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my mom does the same thing.. peeing and fleeing. and she always left the bathroom door open. i guess im next in line to adopt this behavior 😛
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You can adapt your behavior now, while you’re young. 8)
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[…] Dowager’s humps (aka old lady humps): These often run in families, especially where there is a tendency toward osteoporosis. At least I can go a long time without needing to empty my bladder. (Kidding.) […]
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[…] never truly anonymous. And I knew the kinky among you would appreciate turkey sex, wet snakes, and bed-wetting. (Going back to read that one, are you?) But I’m ready to merge. I’m already a […]
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