Death, paper mâché skull by Raymond Sandoval, Contemporary
Spanish Market, photo © 2008 by ybonesy. All rights reserved.
what demon inside
makes me feel not good enough?
that’s a sort of death
-related to post: haiku (one-a-day)
redravine.wordpress.com 
Yes. Yes it is, a sort of death. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I’ve been asking myself a similar question. I’m glad you wrote this and I read it. A well-timed haiku from my perspective.
🙂
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Yes, that is something ‘monkey mind’ would say – a good haiku to put by an easel. G
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Yes – I can definitely relate to this – somehow it leaves you frozen and unable to enjoy life, or take meaningful action.
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Powerful haiku, yb. Oftentimes, sitting to write, I must make the choice to kill the monkey (mind) — it will not just go away. It is relentless and works against me … always.
But, even victorious, I rise up from my writing chair and the monkey rises with me and I face the fact, one more time, that this is an *eternal* battle. However, each victory, to speak and write the truth, in the face of death, creates a space of sweetness and of freedom… and armed with that, I sit down to write again.
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ybonesy, great haiku. Self-doubt is a kind of death. I face the Monkey all the time, too. I wonder what it is that makes us doubt. It is hard to stand up and keep writing, keep going, in any aspect of life. Some kind of practice helps me with that, with Monkey Mind. I haven’t written as much as I’d like to on this trip. But I have been keeping a few of my practices going — mostly the photography and haiku. It has helped to ground me in an endless sea of gathering.
Have you been feeling this way lately? Or is it a passing moment? BTW, the photograph is full of energy. The shape of the face reminds me of the Ugly Pots that were placed on the Underground Railroad. I had forgotten about them. But then they had one in the history display at Fort Frederica on St. Simons Island. Then Mom reminded me that Aunt Cassie used to have one. Then I saw your post this morning. More connections.
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I remember Natalie saying that Monkey Mind is related to the aspect of brain that is wired for “fight or flight.” Monkey Mind is really NOT an enemy at all, but is the part of our brain that knows that we may get in trouble for speaking the truth. It is really concerned with our survival. That being said, one still seems to have to tell it to shut-up a bit, in order to really live!
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Thanks for the comments, all. breathepeace, this “fight or flight” is something I often struggle with. I am very much flight energy, and in fact there have been times that I’ve kept in sight in my workspace a sticky that says “Fight Back!”
For me, writing is a way to fight back.
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QM, just today I did a post on Anxiety. Yesterday when I was working on the writing for that post, I was steeped in what it is exactly that creates that cycle. I think the haiku came out of that flurry of emotion and thought. A moment, not necessarily fleeting in that it’s also a real problem for me in these days.
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This image paired with this haiku seems just exactly right.
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