Safety Hides, Northwestern Casket Arts Building wall sign, Minneapolis, Minnesota, November 2007, photo © 2008 by QuoinMonkey. All rights reserved.
tree swing rocks the snow
blizzard swirls on the blue deck
no safe place to hide
-posted on red Ravine, Saturday, February 9th, 2008
-related to post, haiku (one-a-day)
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Interesting shot. Is it using available light or did you filter it? I like the depth the rust gives it.
The haiku leaves me unsettled for some reason but fits well with the picture.
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R3, thanks. Available light. But it was so dark, I did pump up the saturation and contrast a bit. I’m not totally happy with this shot. But I liked how it fit what I was trying to say.
Yes, the haiku is kind of unsettling. I find it that way, too. Not the way haiku is probably supposed to leave a person. But I was thinking a lot about safety – feeling it, the lack of it.
I think it might ring more hopeful with a change to one word:
tree swing rocks the snow
blizzard swirls on the blue deck
a safe place to hide
Just one word.
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Interesting how one word changes the tone. I like it better in it’s original form. Sometimes it is a good thing to feel unsettled because it can bring us back to reality.
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I find the original version goes well with how you’ve described this extra harsh winter to be like. Such thin layers between you and the freezing cold. Rather than a lack of hope, the original version seems more like a realistic observation and emotion.
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R3 & ybonesy, yes, it’s fun to play with the words and tone of the written word. It’s true, when I changed the one word, I felt more soothed reading it. But that’s not what I was feeling when I wrote it. The original haiku (original mind) reflects the truth of the moment. It’s good to remember about haiku – that the first thoughts are usually the best. Thanks for your comments on this.
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R3, I forgot to mention, I like your insight about being able to sit with feeling unsettled. A lot of good writing comes out of that place. Sometimes when I start to feel too happy, I worry that my writing is going to lose its edge. 8) I don’t really think that’s true. But it seems like so many good insights come out of places that are kind of dark.
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