By Carolee (aka The Polka-Dot Witch)
Do you remember the Karate Kid (Ralph Macchio & Pat Morita) when Mr. Miyagi had Daniel wax the car? Wax on. Wax off. Inward circles. Outward circles. Discipline the mind. Train the mind by moving the body.
I’m unsure if any circles are in my life at all. Only because I’m trying to think of some. My son’s third grade teacher is trying to get the kids to avoid circular logic: explaining a thing by using only the thing itself. The same words.
The circles in this room: the hoop at the top and bottom of the lampshade. The terra cotta-colored plate on the table with crumbs from a hard roll. Each loop in the spiral binding of my journal. The 0-0 in the all-caps caption of a photo of Eleanor Roosevelt. The eyes looking at me from her name. How she saw the world. How we see the world. Two circular sensors working together to take in information independently and the brain sews it all together so it makes sense, so the world works. The tiny holes in the tops of the salt and pepper shakers. How does anything come out of holes that small? I don’t see any other circles. Circles. The sign for this café is a yellow circle. If I lean over, I see it through the window.
Circle. Circle. Circle the wagons. Rhinoceroses do that. Put the baby in the middle of a circle and turn to face the danger and snort and show their horns. What is it with me and rhinos lately? I’m seeing them all over the place but I live in the cold, snowy Northeast. Rhinos don’t live here. But they’re in my brain lately. Doesn’t make sense at all.
Sense at all. Sense at all. Sense at all. If you had any sense at all, you’d know/see _______. If you had any sense at all, you wouldn’t ________. That might make a fun list poem. If you had any sense at all, you’d leave him. Wear practical shoes. Dry your hair before going outside. Save your money instead of spending so much. Take better care of yourself. Change the oil in your car more often. Stop banging your head against the wall with whatever it is you’re doing over and over again even though it’s not working. Stop for a minute and figure out what you want. Take water with you on a hike. And a compass. Plan ahead for a change. Not put your head between the stair railings in the first place. Wear gloves when you pull weeds. Leave the wasps nest alone. STOP.
Note: When I packed up my stuff to leave, I saw on the wall behind me a poster for an old movie, Vertigo:
Look at all those circles! I can’t even count them all. I wasn’t looking hard enough! I wasn’t being thorough! I wasn’t seeing everything. Isn’t it funny how a free write ends, sometimes, at its true beginning?
Carolee (a.k.a. The Polka-Dot Witch) is a painter, mixed media artist, and poet. She blogs about the creative process — sharing free writes, draft poems, exercises and ramblings — in a life crowded with children and cluttered by moods. Her poetry has been published online at qarrtsiluni and in local publications, and her poem “How to let wild birds out” is forthcoming in print in the winter issue of Ballard Street Poetry Journal.
She co-manages the blogs “poem” (a virtual poetry group) and “fertile ground” (a publishing and critique-focused blog), and she is a contributor to the poetry site read write poem.
About writing practice, Carolee says: I start everything with a free write. Everything. I know no other way. Even if I already have an idea, I free write. Even if I have a poem or an essay that’s 90% finished, I free write through the weak spots to give it more life. It really helps me explore its levels and discover images and concepts that I never could have found without free association.
It’s fun for me. So much that we do is choreographed or purpose-driven. It’s enjoyable to allow anything and everything to come out of me without censorship. I usually have to go longer than the 15 or 20 minutes to go as deep as I like to go, but shorter periods exercise the creative muscles that prevent writers block. With free write practice, I can (and do ) start writing whenever I want to. It’s training. I don’t have to wait for a muse. (Although when he shows up, it’s especially nice.)
Behind the scenes is messy. I like messy. I am absolutely OK about writing for an hour and ending up with ‘nothing’ or ending up with something that’s incomplete or something that doesn’t come close to representing me well. I do not consider it time wasted.
I am really good about keeping my free writes (they’re usually in my journals) and reviewing them months after I put them on the page. Sometimes when I go back, I see I’d overlooked an interesting phrase, I see an image in a different way or I see new meaning in a concept I’d previously considered ordinary.
-related to Topic post, WRITING TOPIC – CIRCLES
First, welcome Carolee, to red Ravine. It’s a delight to have you here, to read your practice, and to read about your writing process.
I do remember wax on, wax off. I loved Karate Kid; I’ve always loved old people, and even though Mr. Miyagi wasn’t actually that old back then, he seemed ancient. The notion of a sage as mentor seemed so romantic to me.
The rhinos. I didn’t know they protected their babies that way.
You mention that your muse is a “he” — what do you know about him? I don’t have a muse, per se, but I know one of our fellow bloggers has a female muse. Makes me curious.
Also, I’m like you about being OK with just writing and not having anything to take away from it besides the writing. It’s a spiritual practice in that respect (for me). For you, too?
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Carolee, I love the Vertigo poster. I’m so glad you included it. 8)
A couple of things that stuck out for me in your write – the idea of circular logic. And the term circular being associated with something you don’t want to do – in logic, we are taught to be linear.
And the last paragraph where you follow the mind to If you had any sense at all….I sure remember that phrase from somewhere in my past. And they are all rules I tend to want to break. You could take a line from anything in that last paragraph, and do a ton more writing practices. It’s rich with imagery.
The wasps nest, the last line. Took me right to a time when I stuck my finger in a hole on a swing set and got stung by a wasp. Very painful. We tend not to forget pain. It wakes us up.
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thanks, guys! i will let you know if i do any more with the bits that popped up in the free write. and ybonesy, it’s funny you asked me about my muse being a “he.” i discovered it during a free write actually. a couple years ago. trust me, i didn’t want it to be a “he.” i was shocked. but “he” is who he is and i love him.
i refined the free-write about my muse a little bit last winter and submitted it to an online zine who was interested in the creative process. they didn’t select the essay but it was so much fun to revisit how i figured out who he was.
“he” doesn’t have a name. maybe i should free write to see what it is. 🙂
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Writing about “the muse” can take us so many different directions. I once went to an Intuitive who told me one of my muses was a Jester type guy who sat at my shoulder. It was strange because I had always wondered why I was drawn to the jester as an archetype.
I think that has shifted a little bit now. But, you know, whoever my muses are, they often sit at my shoulders, kind of watching over me (both male and female). And I’m thinking now, how is a muse different from inspiration (what inspires us to write or create)?
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Carolee, how fun to see your name here, instead of at the usual poetry haunts.
It was interesting to read your free write, seeing your poetic gears at work. I’m sure a poem or two is going to surface from your writing, and maybe even a painting!
You fit in well with red Ravine. This group also is gifted with writing and visual art talents. I’m glad to read your work here.
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Did you ever post the piece about your muse on your site, Carolee? If not, you should. I’d love to read it. Ooh, I just thought of something. Who is your muse? would be a great future topic. I need to go through that exercise myself, as I’ve never looked inside and asked myself that question.
It is kind of interesting that your muse is male. I’ve been sitting here wondering why. Why would that stand out to me? I realized that my orientation toward the notion of a muse has been formed based on the Great Masters, painters especially whose muses were young, nubile lovers, generally. I might have even formed a bias against the notion of a muse, thinking it instead as an egotistical male artist’s excuse for a young lover. Funny how it was never something I have felt I could embrace. Which means I have no idea who/what my muse is.
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I love where you got to in that piece – the “If you had any sense at all…” It is resonant with so many possibilities. Thanks for sharing your raw material. I don’t think I could even transcribe many of mine!
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“I’m unsure if any circles are in my life at all.”
Polka Dots! 🙂
I like that you seemed to ‘not’ see circles at the beginning of the writing, and pretty soon you were seeing them in Elanor Roosevelts name, and then in everything.
Thanks for posting that on Red Ravine!
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glad to be popping up in new places, as well. shakin’ it up a bit! and i’m pleased to be welcomed and that folks think i fit in with “word-y” and visual “art-y” people.
funny? yes! my muse is male AND he’s no young-un. he’s a very comforting, nurturing energy. i think you’d have to read about him to “get” him. after my initial shock, i understood his gender. i needed him to feel grounded.
i had a blog before this blog (2006?) and i posted a free write about my muse. that blog no longer exists. i have the piece in an edited format now, but you’re right — putting a face/form on muse is a good exercise that red ravine should do.
i think we all probably have more than one muse. maybe they’re in a “circle” all around us. 🙂
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I like circle the wagons, and the idea of freewriting to get unstuck for any writing. I just did a 15 minute Writing Practice or Freewrite whatever, before reading this here:
http://theindividualvoice.blogspot.com/2008/01/circles.html
THE INDIVIDUAL VOICE: Circles
Great prompt!
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I loved the polka-dot witch, it was a great style to right in and I can see you’ve put a lot of thought into… The circles well I have to say, yes it was a great choice, a great topic… Who would have new circles can be seen in so many places! So I want to say thx you made me think
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jci6id, thanks for calling up this post again. I reread it and the comments and was reminded of all the conversations we’ve had on red Ravine about the Muse. Most recently stranger has had many conversations about it with ybonesy. I’m off to think about my Muses today. What inspires me?
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[…] CIRCLES – A Free Write by Carolee […]
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