The Places I’ve Walked, walking a brick labyrinth, Martinez, Georgia, June 2007, photo © 2007 by QuoinMonkey. All rights reserved
It’s New Year’s Eve (almost a whole New Year, ybonesy!). I’m working on the black-eyed peas and rice post. And I’ve got to say the orangutan’s butt is a pretty hard act to follow! But I’m going to risk it and post an ABC meme morph of my practice and Gratitude List for 2007.
I met with friends a few nights ago for poetry, music, and silence. We did timed writings. I chose to make a Gratitude List. It was 99 items long. I admit, I was slowing down a bit near the end, but I think I could have gone longer. My scattered, discursive thoughts turned a corner into this giant web of connection.
When I got stuck, I’d think of the places I walked over the last year. Where did my feet hit solid ground? From there, the strong, silky tendrils spun out across the room, connecting one detail to another.
Each place held its own blessings. I was an unreluctant traveler. There is some sadness in looking back. But through the lens of gratitude, it’s mostly Joy.
Some things I learned along the way:
- Looking back with gratitude, provides clear vision for the future. After we reflected and wrote about 2007, we shared. Then we visioned about 2008. Not resolutions – Visions. I took the web of gratitude and laid out a detailed visual map of 2008. In the cluster map, everything seemed clear.
- The Vision for 2008 is in place. Creating a workable structure and learning how to prioritize my time (balancing internal with external) are paramount to making the Vision reality. Balancing writing, work, art, relationships, and care of the self are my challenges: (1) Setting up a structure detailing where I spend my time and sticking to it. (2) Limiting the things that seem most addictive or time wasting. I find that I can easily get lost in frittering away time. I know exactly how long it takes to get a task done. I am good at planning. I need a yearly structure that honors and balances internal time with outer action.
- Time alone is a must for me. Taking action out in the world will be the hardest part of realizing my Visions. Setting intention. Following through. A friend said how she needs creative space every day, time to just sit and stare at a wall. Most extroverts don’t understand the act of wall-staring, but I’m in full agreement! I get my energy from going within, not from other people (true definition of an introvert). I love connecting with people. I have good social skills. But my creative energy, my refilling of the well, comes from reflection, internal musings, silence.
Practice. Structure. Community. Intention. Follow through. Action. Many of these connections came from sharing my writing practices in community. My original gratitude practice was a free form list. I revisited the list and boiled everything down into general categories, the ABC’s.
May your New Year be filled with peace and gratitude, as close to balance as humans can get, and some semblance of what we homo sapiens like to call happiness.
A – APPRECIATION – appreciation for what has passed. People, places, and spaces – I want to preserve and write about them. Places contain our roots. People are memories. History, I don’t want to repeat it or make the same mistakes. I have to know the past for a clear future. The ability to deeply feel leads me to empathy and compassion.
B – BUZZING AROUND ON THE MOTORCYCLES – our little purple Honda Rebel 250 (Ramona) and Suzuki Savage 650 (Suzi) floating by the Mississippi River in summer. Can’t ya smell that smell.
C – COFFEE & CATS – Colombian or French Roast every morning. We make one pot and split it. That’s it for the day. Hmmmm. Don’t forget to take a good long whiff. And then there are the 3 Musketeers: Mr. StripeyPants who made it through a near-death experience in the last few months (a miracle); the elegant mistress of the house, Kiev; and nervous but sleek, Chaco (after the canyon).
D – DULUTH – going up to Lake Superior at Duluth once a year for our weekend getaway. I look so forward to that. Lake Superior is like the Womb of the Earth. It feels like I could be anywhere in the world.
E – EXPLORATION – outside of my comfort zone. In many ways, it was a hard year for me. I was challenged to push myself through situations that were not comfortable but were good for my growth. Sometimes I failed and went back to the drawing board. It was a hard year financially. But I didn’t give up. Looking at 2008, I feel willing to do more exploration. I’m hoping all the structures I put into place this year will bear fruit. Both financially and spiritually.
F – FRIENDS & FAMILY – many communities. I only have a few very close, intimate friends (I’ve known my friend, Gail, since 1980). My blogging partner, ybonesy. And ever-widening circles of communities like red Ravine, Flickr, Taos writers and people at the Mabel Dodge Luhan House, recovery communities, all people I’ve met by showing up and stretching myself beyond my comfort zone. Family and extended family – at least one person in my blood/extended family supports me and my writing in some small or large way, every single day.
G – GRANDMOTHERS, GHOSTS, & GENERATIONAL HEALING – the Grandmothers that guide me, not only the Ancestors, but Elise and Ada who come to visit me often. The ghost of Mabel Dodge visited in Taos and I often feel her when I’m there. Her creative vision was admirable. And I wonder if she feels how writers and artists are still convening under her roof. I believe these Spirits guide us in healing the wounds of the past. In letting go between generations. I saw this on every trip I took home this year.
H – HOMETOWN – Minneapolis, living in the most literate, clean, and green city in the U.S. We’ve got the Walker, the Loft, the Guthrie, Intermedia Arts, Minneapolis Institute of Arts, MN Book Arts, Talking Volumes, Minnesota Public Radio, the Fitzgerald (oh, that’s Saint Paul!), all the warehouse district artists and writers, and on and on and on.
I – INDRIA – the white cottage on the gently sloping hill, new gutters, freshly painted deck, small flower gardens, cardinals, flickers, downys, nuthatches, bluejays, view of the sunset, changing of the seasons, I love living just outside the city proper. It’s silent, quiet, peaceful.
J – JOY – the pure joy of doing art and writing every day. Journaling, blogging, business, lists, practices, poetry. Photography, papermaking, painting, printmaking, sketching, mapping. Any of it. All of it. These creative endeavors bring me JOY.
K – KINDRED SPIRITS – those who walk parallel paths. The faces change from time to time. Some walk hand in hand for a while, then drop away. So many different reasons. But I’m grateful for the time I walked with them. And now I’m grateful for those who are new to me and have come into my life at just the right time.
L – LIZ – her belief in me, her love, acceptance, gratitude, giving nature, smile, giggle, support of my writing, huge and open heart. When she’s in the mood, she also loves to cook, bake, and do laundry. 8)
M – MENTORS – Natalie Goldberg, books, writers that came before me, great literature, my business partners and clients of every nature. What about all the writers and artists I saw this year in the Twin Cities: Ann Patchett, Galway Kinnell, Mary Oliver, Josephine Dickinson, Steve Almond, Jean Shinoda Bolen, Riane Eisler, Mirabai Starr (oh, that was Taos), Ani DiFranco, Nancy Crampton, Diane Arbus (retrospective). All the art profs who mentored me in school.
N – NO REGRETS – I’m never bored. I don’t regret anything I’ve done. I haven’t always made the best choices. But I’ve learned from them. I’m learning to forgive myself.
O – OPPORTUNITIES – so many presented themselves this year. Teaching with and assisting Natalie twice, helping others to write and structure their time, the writing Intensive at Taos, unexpectedly traveling home for Mom’s 70th, cheap flights to New Mexico (twice) and Pennsylvania (twice), road trips to New Mexico and Georgia, quality time at Mabel Dodge Luhan House, time spent in my childhood homes, researching, taping, discovering personal histories of the past.
P – PROMISES & PROSPERITY – the Promises of Recovery hooked me on letting go of self-destructive behaviors. It works if you work it. And you’re worth it. I’m lucky to be able to (almost) make a living doing something I love. I’ve also got a part-time job that is flexible, supportive, and allows me independence in my writing. I’m getting there. I believe.
Q – QUALITY TIME – with myself, with the people I love. The most important thing to me is connecting with those close to me. And learning how to keep the well full so I still have something to give back. I’m especially thankful for all the extra time I had with my mother this year. To walk along the Susquehanna and Savannah rivers, to meditate together, to travel to Georgia, to work on the family tree, to spread mud masks on our faces, to excavate memories, to eat homecooked meals, to be with family.
R – RECONNECTING & RED RAVINE – Mrs. Juarez (after 39 years), Aunt Annette (after 50 years), Aunt Emmalyne (after 41 years), my step-dad (after 41 years), my immediate family, siblings, and Mom and I are the closest we’ve ever been. Launching red Ravine has reconnected me to writers and creative people I’ve met in Taos, to extended family and friends, to other writers all over the world. Through writing and comments I learn new things about people I’ve known all my life. And old things about people I only just met.
S – SILENCE & SNOW – the golden sound of silence, meditation, practice, slow walking the labyrinths of the world. The silence of snow and winter. Winter Solstice by the fire. The exercise from shoveling the driveway with every muscle in my body. Strength in the vulnerability of silence.
T – TAOS MOUNTAIN – for sitting there century after century, just being the mountain.
U – UNDISCOVERED DREAMS – an openness and willingness to go where no QM has gone before!
V – VINTAGE – I’m into what’s old, not what’s new, borrowed or blue. Studying vintage items (books, music, stereos, lawnmowers, tools, historic places, etc.) how they work, the place they once held in the world, fascinates me.
W – WARM COATS, HATS, MITTENS – And don’t forget all my hooded sweatshirts that keep my body thermometer (the neck) warm. I’m grateful for the warmth every day. Your survival here depends on knowing how to dress and being prepared for anything in winter. There are some who only have the clothes on their backs.
X – X-RAY VISION – No, just kidding. I’m more thankful for my Wonderwoman wrist cuffs and strange powers of getting people to tell the truth.
Y – YOU – whoever is reading this at this moment. I’m grateful for you.
Z – piZZaZZ – I lived 2007 with courage, bravery, and pizzazz. I haven’t been perfect. I’ve had sleepless nights. I’ve made bad choices, hard choices, but I tried to do the right thing for the moment. I ran myself ragged early in the year. I rested in December. But life keeps me on my toes. I’ve got gratitude for pizzazz.
-Happy New Year, posted on red Ravine, Monday, December 31th, 2007
Hey! I have WonderWoman cuffs! They make me feel so powerful. 🙂
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this posting resonates with me- as i find the whole new years resolution thing to be a disappointment. in years past i found myself making resolutions i knew i could keep- eat more chocolate, sleep less, allow dirty dishes in the sink… you know the kind of thing. this year i am sticking to gratitude. i want to remember each day something i have gratitude for. i am posting on my fridge something to remind me to have gratitude, as i use the fridge daily, and will remind myself to think more gratitude. i do believe the thoughts you think become the actions you take and reflect on others. so i shall see where this new gratitude will take me in 08.
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This is a beautiful post, QM. I hear the deep gratitude in your voice.
I love that you have gratitude for your hoodies (W for warm coats, hats, mittens). Ah, the list is wondrous. So many things, large and small, to give your heart to. I’ve learned so much from you about gratitude. Thanks.
Be safe tonight, all.
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I thoroughly enjoyed your ABC meme morph. You’ve had a full year, QM. Really packed to the gills with importance and movement and things that matter. That’s what I like about life the further I move, the older I get. I am (at last) able to drop the things that never mattered, and live with what does.
From Walden: “…let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen…”
Sage words as I head in 2008.
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Your ABCs of gratitude are wonderful- full of what matters. I hope your 2008 year is one filled with gifts and joys – a rich one for you and Liz. G
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pmousse, Wonderwoman rocks! I’m glad I’ve met another WW fan. ‘Nuf said. 8)
reccos62, cool about posting something on your fridge to remind of gratitude. I can relate to your old resolutions you knew you *could* keep: eat more chocolate, sleep less, allow dirty dishes in the sink. Ain’t it the truth. Gratitude works so much better for me. Let me know how it goes.
ybonesy, I hope your New Year’s Eve goes well. We are taking it easy tonight. Watching old Saturday Night Live skits. Hanging in front of the heater with the cats. Seems peaceful. I rarely go out on New Year’s Eve anymore. Feels kind of sane to stay home. Happy New Year to you as well.
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G, thanks so much. The same to you – all good things for the New Year!
Teri, I agree wholeheartedly. The older I get, the more I want to spend time and energy on the things that matter to me. Half a dozen sounds doable. BTW, I’m grateful to have you as a fellow writer and friend here in the Twin Cities. You were on my list! I hope you’re having a good New Year’s Eve tonight. Write on, friend.
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I went with my niece to the Riverview theater tonight, lots of people there for an easy New Year’s Eve. I took note of that–people living simply…not dancing on tabletops with lampshades on their heads.
I’m going to the Blue Moon tomorrow to finish work on my Visions for ’08, plus firming up my writing life structure. Then at noon, two more nieces (ages 19 and 21) are meeting me there to play Scrabble. We can’t wait. There was a time I never would have publicly admitted such an activity. Isn’t it nice to live our *own* life at last?
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Inspiring list! Hope you have a happy healthy New Year! 🙂
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Thanks, LB. You, too. Hope you get to take your beading trip to Bohemia! Almost New Year’s here. Watching Lenny Kravitz, waiting for the ball to drop. 11:39:39
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Teri, sounds like a delightful New Year’s Eve at the Riverview. I love that theater. And then you’re heading to the Blue Moon for Scrabble with family and to complete your Visions list on New Year’s Day? Sounds like the perfect way to ring in 2008.
I haven’t played Scrabble in so long. I remember last July in Taos, there was a woman who read a touching piece the last night on playing Scrabble with her dad when he was nearing the end of his life. I can’t think of Scrabble now without remembering that piece.
I like the game but haven’t played it in ages. When I was growing up, our family played tons of board games. My favorites were always the games of chance like Yahtzee. But Scrabble was in there, too!
Have a Happy Day at the Blue Moon!
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QM, Your alphabet of gratitude is Great!
As I was indulging in a leisurely, holiday soak in the tub, I first thought of how the water was suspending and yet supporting me. I added the fragrant salts, turned on the jets; watched and felt the bubbles embrace me. Started thinking about the last letter of the alphabet and smiled to myself over your choice of
PIZZAZZ! My own list began to form…the bubbles were sizzling and fizzing around me. The droplets of water were dazzling on the white tub under the bright light from overhead. When I exited the tub, I glanced at the word Jacuzzi and thought, “how appropriate, another pair of “Z’s”. My smile turned to a grin as I recalled an old radio commercial from days before I learned to read and long before the invention of television. The singing commercial was for Dad’s Old Fashioned Root Beer. Only that’s not how my child-ears heard it. To me they were were singing,
“RAZZLE DAZZLE ROOT BEER!!”
So…here’s to a RAZZLE DAZZLE Year, you two Minneapplesauce kids!
Love,
Your Mom-in-Cody
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What a great post (again) QM!!! 🙂 And yeah, I do see that we both included ‘you’!! I love that – as I said in my comment back to you – I love it when synergy happens.
One thing I’m really taking away from your post here is this: Exploration and Joy – 2007 for me was not an easy year on so many different levels – but in all of that, it was just the fodder I needed to really go where I hadn’t gone before 🙂 And “JOY” is the key emotion for me – the one that I will be following the most this coming year.
Thanks for another inspiring post. Up until now I didn’t know you were in recovery – be well One Day At A Time!!! 🙂 A recovered life is a miracle!
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Happy New Year, QuoinMonkey! I wish you happiness, health and love.
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This is a wonderful list, especially the X-ray vision. I was curious about walking the labyrinth. I’ve never done that, and I recently did a post at my Postcards from Bloggerville blog about the differences between mazes and labyrinths. If you ever wanted to do a post on Walking the Labyrinth…
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Hey, hey, hey…I’m just happy if I find a pair of matching socks and you’re writing words like…
“Strength in the vulnerability of silence”
WOW QM…you make me so proud…and I’m not even your Mother!
P.S. ( I hate socks)
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Yep. I’m gonna book that trip sometime this month. Can’t wait!
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[…] (moving, blogging, writing) Z zest for life, zaniness at times, zen everyday -Related to The ABCs Of A Prosperous 2008 – Gratitude and Feelin’ Down For The Holidays? Make A Gratitude […]
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Marylin, I love that story about razzle dazzle root beer. How we take more complicated words when we’re young and relate them to words that we know. Sounds like you had a relaxing Holiday. I once did a write about how my mom loved to soak in the tub when we were growing up (she still does). I think it was the only time she got any time alone in our large family!
Grace, thank you. A recovered life is indeed a miracle. And something I find I have to keep working at every day. They don’t say one day at a time for nothin’. Happy New Year.
Paul, Happy New Year over at Cafe Philos! Thanks for stopping by.
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tiv, thank you for mentioning the labyrinth post. I actually walked the labyrinth as part of my practice last year. And I’ve written a few older pieces about what was happening to me as I walked them. It was a grounding practice. And I think of the labyrinth often, though don’t walk it as much as I did earlier in the year.
The labyrinth in this photo relates to another post I did (with more photos of this labyrinth) from last June. I was in Georgia with my mother and we discovered this brick labyrinth together. My brother, R3, had led us to it through a geocache he set up for us to find. Mom walked part of it. But we didn’t have time for the whole thing. I’d like to walk this one again next June when we go back South.
ybonesy, didn’t you have a labyrinth close to your house before you moved? I meant to ask if you ever ended up walking that one.
tiv, You’ve inspired me. I think I’ll add a LABYRINTH category under WE WRITE ABOUT. And connect my labyrinth posts to it. That way I’ll be able to find them easily. And so will everyone else.
I hope to do more labyrinth posts in the future. And to walk some different ones around the country. To all whose feet have graced the winding labyrinths of the world, Happy Slow Walking.
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QM, although not a labyrinth in the beginning, let’s all remember to “Follow the yellow brick road” in 2008….D
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D, where does it go? To the center, at the heart? It’s like that quote from Glenda the Good Witch at the top of gypsy-heart’s blog – we’ve always had the power, we’ve had it all along.
Hey, I never looked closely at the yellow brick road to see what circular form it took. I think I’m going to pay attention next time I watch the movie. It’s been a while. Night. 8)
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I loved your alphabet, and I liked your definition of introvert. I never thought of it that way. That an introvert goes into themselves for inspiration, replenishment, while an extrovert gets it from outside sources.
That makes sense to the word itself, I’ve always thought of introvert as kind of a synonym for shy.
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QM, You got it right! To the center of the heart. We have always had the power & we have always had it all along…D
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QM, I didn’t walk the labyrinth before moving. I had heard that it was open for anyone to walk, but I felt a bit odd just going over and walking it.
I love the labyrinth photo in this post. It’s so expansive. It’s almost a wide-angle shot, although it seems to have come out that way naturally (without newfangled lenses or anything).
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amuirin, Happy New Year (I missed you!). With the introvert/extrovert thing, I think it’s a common misconception that introverts are shy and have poor social skills. In truth, some of the most articulate people I know who are out there in the world every day, including teachers, managers, consultants, are introverts.
And naturally, many artists and writers are introverts due to the amount of reflection and alone time it takes for the kind of soul searching that goes into those art forms. I remember in art school, the INFP’s of the Myers-Briggs were off the charts. But many students were talkers and quite social as well.
amuirin, if you check this post again, let me know which you are – intro or extro.
ybonesy, I remember now that you felt funny walking that labyrinth because it was a private one. I’ve noticed that there are many private labyrinths in people’s yards, yet they invite others to walk them. The labyrinth collects the energies of all who walk them (most times a good thing), so most people invite others in.
I have a couple of friends who are thinking of making a labyrinth in their front yard next summer. They just moved into a new house and have a huge front yard. Maybe I’ll get to help them make it!
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hi QM, it feels good to be missed. I really do love your alphabet.
I’m an introvert, definitely, but I need company, especially if I get too much in my head. Have you ever had the chance to read ‘eat pray love’ by Elizabeth Gilbert? Great book. She talks about how she’s the gregarious one, and her sister, the scholar and introvert seemed comfortable alone so everyone thought Elizabeth would have the giant family, the house full of kids and her sister would be the world traveler/writer.
But it worked out the opposite way, because Elizabeth’s gregarious nature meant she never lacked for company she left behind the comfortable ‘roots’ of routine and structure and went seeking and traveling for a year, but her sister had the family, and she was happy, because her family helped her stay grounded in the world and not be lonely.
Things often work out the way they are meant to if we can let go and allow them to. That’s part of what I’ve learned this year.
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amuirin, you changed your avatar. I like the new colors. And the black background.
I haven’t read Elizabeth Gilbert’s eat pray love. That’s fascinating though. That the sister that seemed the most extroverted, ended up with the rooted family. And Elizabeth ended up writing and traveling.
It brings up the point of balance – how I might manifest a way of being out in the larger world, that is the exact opposite of the way I am at home (a writer and person who needs a ton of time alone).
That’s actually helpful to me because I think it’s the way my writing life may turn out. I might be out in the trenches with tons of people teaching, consulting, and talking about writing. But then turn inward to work on my own projects.
I always thought that was weird. But I can see how I’d go crazy if I spent all my time alone at home. I need to get out and about with people. Still pondering.
It makes me wonder if blogging is an introverted or extroverted activity. Do I get energy from it or is it too draining from my other projects. Or both?
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I have eat pray love; my sister gave it to me over the holidays. She loved it and wanted me to read it. It’s in the queue.
I can see where the traveling side of things would cater well to extrovert energy. I’ve traveled a lot since I was in my early 20s, and I find that I become withdrawn in my traveling lately. I used to be so much more outgoing, meeting strangers and curious about people’s lives. I just don’t get the same energy from that kind of travel that I used to, and the truth is, I’m not even that interested in travel any longer. So as I become more protective of my solitariness, I find I don’t want to put myself out there in the bigger world so much. So maybe like the extroverted Elizabeth Gilbert, I was an extrovert traveler, but now in my older years, I’m more like her introverted sister — preferring my family to strangers.
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p.s., I love your new colorful avatar, too, amuirin.
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