“Em, let me brush your hair. It’s all tangled in the back.”
“NOOOO! I refuse to let you brush my hair!!”
“Em, you have no choice in the matter. Until you’re old enough to brush your hair right, you have to let me or Mom brush your hair.”
“NOOOOOO! It’s my hair, and I say who gets to brush it!”
“Em, do you want me to take another picture of your hair to show you what it looks like in the back?”
“NOOOOOOOOO! I don’t care what it looks like in the back!”
“You don’t care that the back of your head looks like an orangutan butt??”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”
My Daughter’s Hair Looks Like An Orangutan Butt
December 30, 2007 by QuoinMonkey
Posted in Family, Laughing, Life, Relationships | Tagged brushing hair, child's hair, fathers and daughters, hair brushing fights, hair knots, hair updos, hairdos, hairstyles, not brushing hair, orangutan butt, tangled hair | 46 Comments
46 Responses
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Ah – hair torture, it’s easy to relate. People are always trying to tidy up little girls – particularly those with orangutan-butt hair.
Our grand-daughter, Mousey, has taken to winding a lock of hair around her finger and making a knot. Just the other day, Renaissance Man, wrestled with her to get at her hair and set it to rights. She was having none of it, but is not yet at the stage your Em is, and is unable to use such sophisticated verbal resistance as Em; she wiggles and thrashes around to get away. I can hardly wait for some such dialogue from those two. Way too funny! G
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LOL!!! Thanks for sharing. You might do what my mom finally resorted to… short hair!
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When I was growing up, pigtails were big. And I hated the feeling of having my forehead stretched across my eyes. 8) My mom liked long hair. But it was so hot Down South and I sweated so much that, eventually, I talked my grandmother into cutting my hair. Boy, was Mom upset!
I grew it out again in high school. Long, long straight hair was “In” in the early 70’s. I think I cut it short (a feathered shag!) my second year of college – and it’s been short ever since! (I did finally lose the shag. Now it just sticks up everywhere, the way I like it most – freestyle.)
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Kids will be kids! LOL!
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Why should she care? She doesn’t have to see it. 🙂
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Ain’t that the truth?! But hey, who’s side are you on? WE have to see it!
We regularly cut out knots, and she cuts her own bangs. It’s brought a whole new meaning to the term “layered hair.”
QM, Dee went the short-hair route precisely because she hated having the fights. Both my girls are tender-headed. My mom forced me to get a “pixie cut” when I was a girl. I longed to have long hair. Alas, it wasn’t in the cards — although now it’s long. Hey, shags are kind of cute, I think, as long as they’re distinct from a mullet.
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Thanks for sharing this cute story.
I was just like your daugther when I was growing up, I didn’t care if it was messy. When my mom would fix my hair nicely for church, I would mess it up on the ride to church. When I was a child all that mattered to me was having fun and getting dirty. I was sort of a Tomboy and I miss being one at times.
Last week, I saw this elderly lady in her 70’s who was out Christmas shopping and even though she was a lovely lady, she looked like she had just rolled out of bed. She told me that she was just happy to get out of the house and styling her hair for some occasions wasn’t her top priority anymore. To me it sounds like history might repeat itself and when I get older, I might go back to messy hair days without a care in the world.
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LOL! That’s just about what my granddaughter’s hair looked like this morning. I asked her if she has a hair brush, and she vehemently denied the existence of such a thing.
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Jana, I’m seriously considering doing dredlocks when I hit my 50s. I have what a former hair stylist called “schnauzer hair.” It’s not particularly thick, but it’s super curly. It is perpetually knotted. So, you’ll have your messy hair and I’ll have mine in solidarity with you.
Robin, I think our girl sabatoge hair brushing by regularly losing all our hair brushes. Guess what showed up in the Christmas stockings? Shampoo, conditioner, and hair brushes.
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yb, I can’t wait until you turn the corner into your 50’s. I want to see the dreds. I’m thinking I’ve got a few years to go though. You’re still a spring chicken in my eyes. 8)
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YB, I had to chuckle! As a tyke, I had long hair, and my Mom said that one day, as she was most vigorously brushing my hair, I told her that, “When I am the mommy and YOU are the little girl I’m going to brush YOUR hair!!!”
My daughter, Liz had beautiful, thick French braids until we finally couldn’t handle the time and effort it took for maintenance…but when we visited the Reptile Gardens in the Black Hills of SD, the young man asked what that form of braiding was called. When I told him, (this was in the ’70’s,) his comment was, “Far out!” …shades of John Denver.
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HAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAA AAAAA AAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAA
High Five to EM!
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YB, this post is way too funny! I also had long hair when I was a young girl. My Grandmother would do mine in rag curls & I loved it! This brought back memories of all of the horrible school photos I have from over the years. My Mother would send me to school looking like a princess. By the time they took the photos I would look as though I had just rolled out of bed! Funny thing is I now have this magical long toothed comb & all of my nieces & grandnieces alow me to comb out their hair. This upsets their mothers much to my delight!
And mullets! I have this thing about them. Whenever my husband & I go out to some of our favorite haunts for diinner & then a DJ, I will count the mullet heads, both male & female! D
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ah, war is a hairy business…went through many of them…won some, lost some…and my children still love me…go figure…yours will too… 🙂
Great Post “An orangutan butt” indeed – it turns the word hairdo into a situation comedy…but maybe thats been done already…
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This is probably why my mom put me to short hair way back then…lol!
Oh gosh your description is priceless!!! Laughing over here, out loud!
It always hurt when mom brushed. Wish she thought then about C.O.N.D.I.T.I.O.N.E.R! I’ll never forget that, or those fingernails. eek.
Thanks for sharing, funny funny funny!
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It also makes the term “butt head” have a whole new meaning.
Thanks for stopping by!
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pssssst…it’s snowing…
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Em’s hair looks exactly like mine, and of course it is very beautiful!
She is obviously too involved in other creative activities, and doesn’t have time to waste on such mundane matters. 🙂
My mother kept up a ‘war’ against my hair all her life. I am sure she would have liked me to be more girl-like and concious of my appearance, but I wasn’t.
Advice from an old woman with extra fine textured hair that knots up at the back of my neck just from turning my head more than once…tell her she’s beautiful, and leave it at that.
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butt head…oh gosh it has to be fun at your house. Bet your kids are a riot too. Teachers pets, eh? hahaha!!!
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Oh heavens, that is quite awful. I hope you know that by memoralizing this in a post will preserve it forever. WordPress does not delete posts automatically, they are stored in vast server archives. I am worried that this will be used against your daughter some day. I hope I am wrong.
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I’m now happy I’m going slowly bald.
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YB,
This reminded me of the skirmishes (couldn’t call them battles) I had with my daughter when she was younger. She didn’t like her hair brushed when it was tangled but eventually she gave in and we could get the tangles out. I remember we bought something at the store that was a spray-on de-tangler that had some magical liquid that untangling her hair.
Have heart, today she has waist length hair that she brushes everyday and sometimes even asks me to brush and braid. I am glad the hair fights are over but I miss the time I spent brushing her hair and trying new hairdos (her favorite was some-up, some-down). Thank you for the trip down memory lane.
R3
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Good point, johnnypeepers. Thank goodness I’ve changed names to protect the innocent.
R3, my favorite is something we call the spout. Most is down, and then a little bit in going straight up like a whale’s spout.
LOL stevo. Me, too. (just kidding.)
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leslie, your hair sounds exactly like mine. I get little knots all in the back. I swear, I brush out my wet hair with detangler (yes, I still have to use detangler at my advanced age — but I don’t use the sparkly, apple-scented kind) and as soon as my hair dries, the knots are there. I have to wear it up every night or else I’d have orangutan-butt hair, too.
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Greetings! Thanks for the fun post. I also can relate to impossible hair (and having to keep it up at night or always URG)…. “hey, what happened here? I went to bed with Cher, and I woke up with Bob Marley????” (I was informed this by my spouse lol).
I wanted to say something to YBONESY: I found you on grace’s pomegranate blog, and was just checking out the different things and then it was linked to another blog Rainring, and you had commented, “…or is it seeking escape from getting things done. The real work at hand. …” Thanks for the word ‘o the day. Just that line right there was like a fortune cookie message (for me- so thanks!)
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HA! That’s a good one (went to bed with Cher, woke up with Bob Marley)!! I wonder if instead of grinding my teeth, I grind my head into my pillow??
But hey, glad you came by. And glad you just recalled that comment I made on stranger’s blog (Rainring). He was writing about what the world needs, and that led to something on quality versus quantity and being quiet — anyway, I talked about blogging as a form of putting off the real work at hand. And you know what, here I am doing exactly that. So, off I go to clean out my writing room. Thank YOU!!!
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Hear hear! And I am also cleaning my room today. Which I’ve been putting off for some time. I dread it because it means i have to look at old stuff and sort through a bunch of crap. I made a note about this comment of yours, while it was in reference to blogging, for me it was just speaking of something even more “habitual”, not just blogs. Well said, great inspiration (that I shall cling to as I clean the room I don’t want to even walk into and clean doh!)
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[…] Year, ybonesy!). I’m working on the black-eyed peas and rice post. And I’ve got to say the orangutan’s butt is a pretty hard act to follow! But I’m going to risk it and post an ABC meme morph of my […]
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Ha! I thought it was only my son who had hair that never got brushed properly at the back. Drives me nuts, but he won’t let me touch it.
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Ok I need to thank you for the really beautiful thing you said on my blog earlier today. That was just really kind, thank you. *i am still cleaning my room – but i needed to escape again tee hee.
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Oh boy, now you did it. And posted it too! LOL. She’s going to get you.
Happy to New Year to you, your family, and everyone here at Red Ravine!
–Jason and Aine
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Thanks, Jason and Aine. Happy new year to you, too!!
Ha, Sibyl, me too 8) (I’ve organized all the papers into piles. I love making piles.)
pmousse, does your son have long hair? My husband does. He usually wears a long ponytail, but last night he pulled it up into a little knot at the top of his head. I was tempted to photograph his head and post it in comments. It was hilarious looking.
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Long hair on men is lovely! the one’s i’ve seen have even lovlier hair then most women (well, at least comparied to my rasta hair), and long eyelashes and all that (grumbling…). Post the pic! 🙂
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Alas, i didn’t snap the shot of his funny budda hair. But yes, I’m especially fond of long hair on men. What is that? Some sort of Fabio-desire? (Just kidding about Fabio. I am honestly curious, though, about why some women love long hair on men.)
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Happy New Year, Ybonesy! I wish you happiness, health and love. By the way, I love your description of your daughter’s hair!
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Thanks, Paul. Happy 2008 to you, too!
My husband gets the credit for “orangutan butt hair.”
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I had to read this conversation aloud to my husband. Jim has a great sense of humor, because with the auburn hair and the tangles, her mane really did resemble orangutan fur. We both got a good laugh out of it.
I used to get snarls, big rat’s nests we’d have to work out from the outside in. And what about gum? Has she ever had that problem?
PS
I read about your cold, yb. I have one too. My eyes and nose sting, and I have to sleep propped up. Hope you feel better soon.
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The whole concept of “orangutan butt” hair deserves greater exploration in our society.
A friend and I once attended a workshop in which we divided ourselves into groups of three for an exercise. She and I ended up grouping with a man who had truly tragic hair.
Afterwards, she and I reflected on how distracted we were by his criminally awful hair. We had missed a lot of the point of the exercise owing to our encounter with this hair catastrophe.
One wonders how much greater the world’s spiritual evolution might be if the concept of “orangutan butt” hair were better-understood.
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You’re absolutely right. Especially orangutan-butt hair on men. Grown men. I’m always curious about people’s personal hygeine and thresolds when it comes to hair grooming. I’ve also seen a correlation between tragic hair and tragic teeth. It’s more of an anti-brush thing than an anti-hair thing. I’d hate to see their toilet bowls.
I allowed my hair to become a catastrophe when I lived in Spain. I had no choice, actually. The water (from the shower) was a dribble, and my landladies didn’t allow me to keep it on long enough to wash out the shampoo and conditioner. Over time, the back became matted. I stopped combing it and, like Em, focused solely on what I could see in the mirror head-on. Right before I left Spain, I went to a stylist who cut out the entire mass. All my friends ooh-ed and ahh-ed when they saw me without the rat’s nest on my neck. It was truly a transformation.
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I can relate. We get that from ours all the time, though lately she’d been getting more cooperative. Then the other day she took scissors to her hair. She’s only 10! I see piercings on the horizon.
Happy New Year, btw!
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You know what, I wouldn’t mind some piercings. Multiple earring holes, a little on on the nose, that kind of thing. My niece (who never comments but reads the blog) has a pierced nose, and it’s quite beautiful. I wouldn’t mind getting one myself ; – ).
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Everytime I pass this post I howl. The title itself is so funny, with the pictures… omg. I wanted to wait and read it till I could read all the comments. Great discussion.
My daughter is a bit of a tender-head, too, but she’ll cooperate if I’m very gentle.
I once dated a man who was part native american, and he had this long, beautiful dark hair. While I usually prefer short hair on men, there was something so sensual about running my fingers through his hair in the morning, watching it drape over his shoulders, burying my face in it. It made me understand why some men express a preference for long locks on women.
I hope you had a great holiday!
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Hi Ybonesy,
Jim’s and Em’s conversation and the following comments kept me chuckling. I had long hair too and it hurt!!
I have always been partial to men with long hair and have encouraged my son to grow his long. Funny, he wanted to grow it long, then I gave him permission, he tried to grow it, then decided he didn’t want it long anymore. I guess he didn’t like the “orangutan-butt” look (Leave it to Jim to come up with that term – I’m still laughing.) Also, I loved your hair long (when we were in SF.) I think I love your hair because it is the exact opposit of mine (thin and straight.) Happy New Year Ybonesy!! Neece-loraine.
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Happy new year, ya’ll.
Hey, Neece, too bad about Brain giving up on his new look. Perhaps he’ll go back to it when he’s older. Start suggesting he wear his hair in a crewcut ; – ). (BTW, my hair’s actually thin, too. The curls just make it look thick. I’d rather have thin and straight.)
amuirin, I know what you mean about men who prefer long locks on women. My husband does. I used to call it the Lady Godiva effect. I won’t go into all the particulars of my theory just yet.
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[…] January 8, 2008 by ybonesy What do you get when you cross a rhino knot with an orangutan butt? […]
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[…] led someone to our website. […]
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