Mimbres Man sent an email last week saying he’s been journaling with his fifth-grade students every morning. They spend at least 15 minutes writing on a different topic.
He wanted to share a recent and favorite topic with the readers of red Ravine. We’ve included it verbatim below.
In today’s fast and furious world, this topic is a great reminder to slow down, to show compassion and love. Thank you, Mimbres Man, for showing your love (smile) to us here at red Ravine! The feeling is mutual.
Kindness & Politeness
In my home state, there are road signs that say Courtesy Pays. These signs aren’t everywhere, just on certain winding mountainous routes. When I was young I noticed them because they were black with white lettering.
These signs are two sided with hinges on the top side and in the winter they unfold into bright yellow rhombus-shaped signs and warn motorists to WATCH FOR SNOWPLOWS. But most of the year they stayed folded black triangles and remind drivers to be nice to each other.
Today, as you drive the rural backroads of New Mexico, people wave to each other — just a little friendly hello. New Mexico drivers are just showing a little courtesy to each other.
The world is a better place when people show a little kindness & politeness.
Write about kindness & politeness. What does it mean to you? Since you receive a grade in kindness & politeness, does it make a difference? Think about it. Write about it.
redravine.wordpress.com 
I just love the waving to other drivers thing that I encountered in certain places when driving cross-country. It was so human. We weren’t just our vehicles.
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Making eye contact nowadays with drivers in oncoming traffic seems so dangerous, almost like we’re invading privacy or something. I still wave a lot to drivers in my town, but I find a lot don’t wave back.
Today coming back from lunch someone in a truck coming the other direction did the headlights flash thing to warn that a radar trap was up ahead. When the truck reached my car, I waved to the guy. He waved back. It was like this entire conversation that happened in a matter of seconds, where he warned me, then I said Thank You, and he said You’re Welcome.
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I know. I love that headlights warning thing, too, although I have to say that when I see a racing weaving sports car or dangerously barrelling too fast truck, I’m hoping they will get caught. I therefore rarely am a warner, but am so appreciative when warned, having gotten tickets for 30 mph in 20 mph zones. But, yeah, also higher speeds I won’t mention, a very long time ago, way before I had kids, in another century. I try to tell myself now that there is no point in speeding, no point with budding and new drivers inside my car watching my speedometer like…cops.
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That’s so funny. When I rounded the corner on my drive back from lunch, after I got the warning from another motorist, a driver came flying down the hill. I thought about warning him — I’d warned someone else — and then I decided to live and let live.
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One cold winter’s day, driving across Wyoming by myself, it began to rain. When night fell the rain turned to snow. The snowfall increased, and first, the edges of the two lane highway weren’t visible, then the lines on the highway disappeared. I was in between towns in a “white-out.”
I never felt so alone. Suddenly, I was surprised by an 18 wheeler that roared past me, throwing even more snow across my windshield. I thought, “boy, I sure didn’t need that!” But then, the truck driver slowed down to about 30 miles an hour and stayed with me until we finally came to the next town. My guardian-guiding angel vanished into the black night and I pulled into a motel, so thankful for what was like a piggyback ride into safety.
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I hitchhiked with truckers all over Europe, back when that kind of activity was safe, and I noticed a certain code of conduct on the road. I guess when that’s where you spend your life, courtesy really does pay!
Great story, Marylin. I imagine Wyoming is another one of those places where people wave to each other on the back roads, too.
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I wish the world was a kinder place…
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An explaination of the topic…
The corporation that bought the little school where I work (an overseas school) gives grades on 7-Success Orientations. Its a very subjective grade. When we meet as a staff, we try and quantify the value of these orientations for each student. We try to site examples of exemplery behavior and such. Most of the time they get the normal grade of an “S” for satifactory. “N” mean “needs improvement”…they don’t like getting N’s. “E” is exemplery…they like getting E’s.
Its an interesting concept because I feel these are areas that we all need work in to be successful humans.
Courtesy Pays…I love those signs. They are primative, but very New Mexico for me. I am from western New Mexico, ranching country. I have always enjoyed driving the rural west of New Mexico and doing the one-finger wave (not the bad finger) off the steering wheel to passing ranchers and other west New Mexico dwellers. Howdy all!
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I love the one finger steering wheel wave too. Unfortunately it doesn’t happen where I live and drive. Maybe I could just start doing it. I know someone who decided to smile at everyone he passed. He was dismayed at the number of people who would not smile back or looked at him suspiciously.
Marylin, I am grateful you had a truck-driving angel. The world needs more of them.
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Is slowalker one of you two or someone else or both of you? I referred to this Politeness post on my Swarming and Politeness post today. Got me thinking.
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I love this Topic. I was travelling back from Delaware with Mom last Sunday night. It was rainy and cloudy and she used her headlights to let people know it was okay to merge on to the freeway in front of her. And also, when we were on two lane highways, to let them know it was okay to get back in front of her after they passed.
I’m reminded of riding the motorcycles. Motorcyclists in every state do the low-riding, one-handed wave to the side, usually with the left hand, right below the handlebars. It’s a kindness and community thing. It shows camaraderie. No one knows what it’s like to ride and steer a motorcycle until they…ride and steer a motorcycle.
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Yeah, I like that about motorcyclists. I notice Jim does it (if I’m in my car following him somewhere and he’s on his Harley). I guess it’s an unspoken rule. I mean, I’m sure no one ever said, Hey, now that you have your motorcycle, you need to wave like this.
But, it does make me wonder: what if a real curmudgeon buys a motorcycle and decides on his own he’s going to stop doing the left-handed wave? Surely someone has decided to just not do it? Maybe a bunch of Banditos come and beat the crap out of him? (just kidding)
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hey tiv, back to your question about sloWalker… that is our writing topic account/username. We use it so that readers can easily find all WRITING TOPICS by clicking on that Contributor name (just like they can find all guest artists under that account name, etc.).
But we both generate the writing topics, and we welcome any reader-generated writing topics, too. If you reference the writing topic, do try to reference sloWalker, as that helps point folks in the right place for finding all the topics in the future.
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ybonesy: Yes, WY is a state where a lot of people wave, especially out on the highways; my daughter, Tracy does it all the time, but she has lived here a lot longer than I have. I haven’t gotten into the habit yet.
Too many years driving on CA freeways, where most people are too preoccupied with simply getting off at the right off ramp, getting on the right on ramp, staying out of the way of the speedy ones and getting safely around the slow pokes! BUT, CA drivers are usually very polite and understanding about the need to change lanes at critical times…( EEEK, please let me in, I’ve got to get off at the next ramp!)
Now, ND is different. Drivers get into the lane they want and one would think they had taken ownership, because NO WAY are they going to let you in…I’d much rather drive the freeways than follow the farmers who never signal their intentions!
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I’ve found there is a direct correlation between population density and waving.
When I lived in SF I had two green areas nearby where I could run. If I ran up into the Presido, much quieter, and approached another runner, we would invariably nod hello or say hi.
But in Golden Gate Park people did not acknowledge each other. There were/are too many.
I find this, too, while driving. We do not greet each other, in the SF Bay Area; even in quiet little Alameda, unless you recognize someone. But if I’m driving in a rural or quiet area — here, or home in Minnesota — and it’s 30 mph or slower, and there is no one else around, we both often do the one hand on the steering wheel flap open, or a nod.
Even out on the abandoned naval air station in Alameda. Quiet mornings, no one else around, I trade waves with people, and if we were in town itself, we’d never look twice.
I kind of like the habit.
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I’m with Ben on the population density related to waving. But I’m thinking states rather than cities and rural. I noticed when I lived out in Montana (and in my travels across the Northwest and some of the Southwest) that people wave on those long lonely stretches of highway. You can go miles and not see another driver. People kind of look out for each other out there. That’s my experience anyway.
In Minnesota, it’s only the motorcycle riders that wave. Again, my experience. I find that people in general have lost a lot of the politeness and manners that I was raised with. It doesn’t seem to be getting passed down anymore. I wonder why that is. It’s missing in the service industries, too.
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West Texas does the one finger wave. (Howdy mimbresman 🙂 ) It is the nicest thing.
It is like what you said, ybonesy,a quick conversation.
“Howdy.”
“Howdy back at ya.”
I “experiment” with smiling, and if you just smile, but not ‘at’ people, they smile too. If you smile ‘at’ them, they get nervous.
Don’t wait for others to be nice. Just be nice. Somebody’s got to do it.
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Good idea. Maybe the full-on smile is like staring at the sun. Better the peripheral smile. Something that says, “I’m content yet not smug, peaceable yet not righteously so, aware and grateful that you’re there yet also aware that you don’t want me to be so aware that you’re there.”
I’m going to try that!
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Howdy leslie,
This treason for a New Mexican to say, but I like west Texas. I enjoy the wide open space. When I was living in the USA, I would make an annual trek, sometime more than one to the Big Bend country (mountain bike racing and or touring). Its friendly out them parts.
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Now, MM, no one is going to call you a traitor on red Ravine, even if they think you’re one. And that’s not to say that I think you’re one. Why, my best pal Patty is from Estancia, and that’s awfully close to West Texas. She’s helped me see that especially southwest Texas is actually more New Mexico than Texas. I think we should just annex the area and live under the state song, Oh Fair New Mexico…
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[…] loveth a cheerful giver.” Marylin did this 15-minute writing practice based on the post WRITING TOPIC – KINDNESS & POLITENESS. About writing, Marylin says: I guess I’m a “dabbler,” as far as writing goes. My first work […]
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ybonesy, I like the way you described the ‘peripheral’ smile.
mimbresman, Big Bend is spectacular! I think it belongs to itself, rather than Texas or New Mexico 🙂
And I love Texas friendly. When someone asks, “How are you?” they really want to know.
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[…] -from Topic post, WRITING TOPIC – KINDNESS & POLITENESS […]
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[…] Maybe none of the above. Just a moment frozen, like any other. -from Topic post, WRITING TOPIC – KINDNESS & POLITENESS […]
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