–Mabel’s Dining Room, Mabel Dodge Luhan House, Taos, New Mexico, July 2007, photo © 2007 by QuoinMonkey. All rights reserved.
It’s summer at Mabel’s. The wind whipped through the cottonwoods after a hot, muggy day. I was drenched in sweat while giving the presentation on When the Emperor Was Divine. And then, the rain came. A quick shower from blackened skies. The afternoon winds visit each day. And the light. How do I describe the light?
The photograph is from last Saturday, the day I arrived in Taos. I have been so swamped, and dead on my feet at the end of each day, that I haven’t had time to take photos since Day 1.
Tomorrow we walk to the Harwood Museum of Art (it used to be a library and is one of the places where Natalie Goldberg wrote Banana Rose) to see the Richard Diebenkorn exhibit. He’s mentioned in Natalie’s book, In Living Color: A Writer Paints Her World. It’s one of my favorite books by Natalie. The colors are bold and alive; the paper is slick and thick. The book feels good in the hands. The writing speaks for itself.
We’ve talked a lot about the visual aspects of writing this week. How to capture details the way an artist captures color, shadow, form, and light on the palette. There has been community (there are 57 attending) and tons of writing practice. Slow walking and meditation in the morning. Thursday we go to the Rio Grande for a swim. I automatically go into that deeper silent place when I walk from the Gatehouse to the Juniper House where the class meets. It feels like coming home.
It’s almost midnight. And I’m sitting in Mabel’s dining room, clacking away at the keys. I am the only one on the lower floor of the adobe. Writers and artists sleep above. I’m tired. And, in a minute, I will lock up and walk over to my room, hopefully for a good night’s sleep. My dreams are always full here. Sometimes strange. And there are nights when they wake me up.
Natalie says we dream more here because the mind knows we are open to receiving what might come. So it gives us what we are ready for. I think it’s that – and the ancestors; they are closer to earth in this place. I am grateful for Natalie’s teachings. And for what she has taught me about teaching. And about writing. Each time I come here, I get closer to something or someone I know is at the heart of me.
Grrrrrrr. I’m gritting my teeth and pounding my heart with balled fists. I want it. I am here. And I want it.
Tuesday, July 10th, 2007
I WANT IT. I AM HERE. AND I WANT IT.
Thank-you, QM, for these sentences of clarity and determination. For at Mabel Dodge, life is simplified to its purest elements and Truth leads. And even though I am not there myself, your clear vision reminds me of what I know when I am there.
It is wonderful to picture all the places you describe. Lap it up.
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There is something surreal about the photo and the way the plants are almost at the level of the bottom of the window. I know this effect is due to the fact that the dining room is partly sunken and the ground outside that particular window *is* high, but with the iris and other plants, it stands out for me. It almost looks like a photo inside a photo.
I’m glad you were able to muster enough energy to do this post. I know it must be tough, and I would hate to think the blog is competing for time you would otherwise use for other creative endeavors. I can feel your determination and persistence. Both great qualities for a writer.
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You go get it, QM. Your determinatin has bulk and geometry. I love your emotion in this post. They bring to life these words of Anne Lamott, ” You must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work. Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Don’t worry about appearing sentimental. Worry about being unavailable; worry about being absent or fraudulent.” Continue to fuel up, QM. You are very present to what you want.
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From rainstorms to writing to dreams in the desert:basic elements of nature add up to a vivid image of a writer’s retreat.
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It seems like a long time since I posted this. I am back in Minnesota. So much to tell. It will all come out in snippets and snarfs. I have a lot to digest. And the same time – it was there all along. I just rediscovered it.
I wish I had had more energy to post while I was away. But I was not drawn to be on the computer or on my cell phone. The break was good for me. It reminded me about the value of slowing down.
And now that I am back? Only time will tell…
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Amelia, so good to hear from you. I thought a lot in Taos about the last trip to Georgia: every person I reconnected with, all the pieces of info I gathered, connections to the past. It was a good place to hold it all and let it settle. Now I have Taos at my back, to help me structure and get down to work. Thanks for believing in me. What a relief I don’t have to do all this alone.
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I am glad you slowed down, Quoinmonkey. YOU have had a lot to endure this summer, and as usual you have done a tremendous job. The way you perceive every little bit of life around you and portray it in your words and pictures is wonderful. Now you can share it with the world as each piece of the puzzle becomes clear to you. What a wonderful story you will tell!! I can’t wait.
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