From Beth Howard
May 30, 2007
Dear Cindy,
Yesterday, I read in your on-line diary that you are leaving Crawford, Texas and going home to California. You wrote, “This is my resignation letter as the ‘face’ of the American anti-war movement.” There is so much energy in politics and government that is not peaceful. Much of our democratic process seems to be fueled by the energy of war, but we do not call it that. We call it the “two-party system” and sometimes, “competition.”
Later in your diary, you wrote, “I am going home and be a mother to my surviving children and try to regain some of what I have lost.” Maybe now, you will have time to focus on cultivating the seeds of peace planted so firmly in your own tender heart. I hope that you will grow an oasis of peace within your family and community.
I am deeply sorry for the death of your son, Casey, in Iraq. I cannot imagine your pain and deep sadness. Please, accept my condolences and also my deep sadness that insults were added to injury in your effort to honor your son’s life by working for peace. One day, I am terrified that I may follow in your footsteps, with the loss of one of my own sons in this war. It is the subject of all my worst daydreams and nightmares.
My 21-year-old son, Peter, is a soldier in Iraq. Three weeks ago, the truck he was riding in was blown-up by a roadside bomb. Peter, the gunner, was thrown off the vehicle, when the five-ton truck was flipped on its side. He has a piece of shrapnel in his thigh, some bruises and abrasions, but otherwise, is okay. He was awarded a Purple Heart and after two weeks off, to recover from his injuries, he returned to his regular duty. Last week, he completed another mission, taking turns serving as the gunner and driver in the 113 degree heat. Peter’s tour of duty in Iraq was extended three months with the rest of the Army. I can hardly bear it, but how can I possibly complain, when so many sons, like yours, have died? As the mother of a living soldier, I am one of the “lucky” ones.
This was a difficult Memorial Day, with the possibility of violent death before my eyes and too close for any comfort. I wore a small pin with two blue stars, signifying that I have two sons in military service. Peter’s twin brother, Andrew, is a Marine Security Guard, serving in Saudi Arabia.
When my sons joined the military, I honored their choice to stand for the courage of their convictions. Their father and I had taught them for years to do just that. Their strength was an inspiration to me and I seized the opportunity of their enlistment to act and work for peace. I started with myself, my family and my community. In spite of the daily horrors of war, I can still find peace in those places and I continue to grow it from that fertile soil. I prefer to think of peace as one of those tenacious perennial plants, growing in the garden of my life. Year-to-year, it gradually spreads to take over everything. I have a very good, real-life example of this plant in the garden of my yard, which serves as a valuable reminder to me that peace, too, is hardy and persistent.
Peace persists, even in Iraq. When my son, Peter, was home on leave in April, he showed us a slideshow of pictures from Iraq on this laptop. He had many pictures of children, running beside their convoy. He said they ask for food and water. Sometimes, he tosses them his sandwich.
Last week, during an Instant Message conversation with Peter, I asked if I could send some granola bars for him to toss to the children. He replied, “If I remember, I grab muffins before the mission, because I can chuck a muffin pretty far.” I asked if I could send some muffins and he replied, “Mom, there is no short supply of muffins in Iraq.”
We will seldom, if ever, read such stories in the press, so I hang on to this one, to remind myself that small acts of kindness are happening every day in Iraq. These acts are tiny seeds of peace being sown and I hope that they will grow, even in the intense heat of summer and of war.
So now, at home in Cheyenne, Wyoming, I think of ways that I might “chuck a muffin” for peace. On Sunday night, I slept at my Unitarian Universalist Church with a homeless mother and daughter. The mother was exhausted after working two part-time jobs as a motel maid. I played basketball with the energetic eight-year-old girl and shared a few simple yoga stretches with them before bed. In this small way, I shared peace with one family in my town. Now that you are home, I hope that there will be many opportunities for you to cultivate peace in your own backyard.
Years ago, unknowingly, you and I collaborated in the Mindfulness Bell, “A Journal of the Art of Mindful Living in the Tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh,” (Issue 41 Winter 2005-2006). I wrote an article titled, “Peace Is Every Step” on the LA Peace Walk and the International Day of Mindfulness and Peace. Your article was, “I Have Arrived, I Am Home,” on walking with Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) in MacArthur Park on that day. Our articles appeared side-by-side.
In that issue, Thay said, “There is much in the peace movement that is not peaceful.” You have learned this first-hand. Someone once asked Thay what could be done to bring peace to the situation in Iraq. He responded by saying that there are many wrong perceptions on both sides. We must begin, he said, by looking deeply at our own practice. To have peace in the world, we must first have peace within ourselves.
Thich Nhat Hanh will be teaching across the U.S. again this year. There will be another Peace Walk in MacArthur Park on September 29th. His tour schedule is at: www.greenmountaincenter.org. If you see him, I know that Thay will chuck you a muffin. He bakes them daily in his peaceful heart and gives them all away.
Wishing you a peaceful heart,
Beth Howard
Going Back to Iraq, Photograph by Beth Howard, “I took the photo
because I knew it was how a lot of people saw Peter every day,”
© 2007, all rights reserved
About writing, Beth says: My regular writing practice includes writing letters and postcards. I got the idea from reading, Home Before Dark, Susan Cheever’s book about the life of her father, author John Cheever, who wrote 30–40 letters a week in addition to short stories for The New Yorker magazine. My volume of letter writing is considerably more modest.
My friends at this site first suggested that I might write a letter for red Ravine…but, a letter to whom, I wondered? I was committed to the topic of “war & peace” and when I read Cindy Sheehan’s letter of resignation on-line, I knew I would write to her. The best gift of a letter writing practice is that you sometimes get a letter back.
How I wish it were possible to send this letter to every mother with a child at war or every mother who prays for peace or . . . every mother. I am not a mother and have in the past year — with menopause setting in — very much wanted to be. More to the point, I have wanted to be a mother like Beth. Even more to the point, I have wanted my mother to be Beth, even though I am older than she is.
Beth’s written words, like her spirit, are put on the page with such raw kindness. Beth is the peace activist behind the scenes; the mother whose love for her children is unconditional, even when they choose a path she would not choose for herself.
May we all aspire to give birth to that in us that would sacrifice the best in us for something even greater outside of us; may we all spend the night with someone who needs to know that she is not alone; may be all have the courage to “chuck one muffin” . . . to fling it high and far, trusting that the arc of kindness, the trajectory of peace knows no boundaries. Thank you, Beth.
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And why is it people question a woman’s ability to run this country?
It seems to me Beth’s comments are just the intelligent, realistic, humanitarian, insightful, and savvy ideas this country needs.
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Your pain and fear are palpable in this piece, Beth, yet so are your love and sense of peace. Friends of mine and I were just talking yesterday about Cindy Sheehan and how she has been portrayed in media. Your letter humanizes her again. It humanizes all of us.
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What a wonderful post, Beth. I was raised Unitarian-Universalist, and this post of yours exemplifies so much of what I like about our faith.
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I wonder how a mother with two sons at war makes it through each day, able to function. And yet you do. Focusing on the good, rather than the bad. Your strength and heart come through not only as a mother, but as a human being.
Thank you for sharing your peaceful self with us and others in your own backyard.
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Thank you for you kind and insightful comments.
Sharonimo–exactly, if we all had the courage to chuck even one muffin, it would be a different world. I am so proud to be able to say that I have three sons and a daughter (you) who is older than me. I’d like to steal this line to use in the future: “to ‘chuck one muffin’ . . . to fling it high and far, trusting that the arc of kindness, the trajectory of peace knows no boundaries.” Beautifully said.
Happy Birthday…soon!
Shawn–thank you. There may be a reason to question a woman’s ability to run this country. A woman of my age, with my temperament, would not easily put up with bullshit, lying, or death. In short, it would be a different kind of government and not everyone is ready for that drastic a change…but, some of us are.
ybonesey–I can’t thank you enough for the opportunity. You trusted that I had something to say about war and peace and offered the encouragement and support to post it here. Every writer should be so blessed, to have that kind of wind in her sails for the voyage. It was Cindy Sheehan’s letter that supplied the energy for my reply.
Thank you, OmbudsBen. I tell people that Unitarian-Universalism is a “big tent,” when they ask me what it is that we believe. A faith big enough to hold and accept it all. One day the world will be like that, too.
Adrienne–I make it through the day the same way you do mostly (except maybe with a little less drama, since I don’t see Sharon every day!) More seriously, I make it through the day with a kid at war by really believing that what I do today matters. I fill my Baggalini bag up with muffins and step out the door to chuck them to the people that need them. I mostly did this, too, before my kid went to war, but I didn’t have the words for it, until he sent them to me. Have a fun party this weekend. Wish I could be there. I will be in spirit…
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Hi Beth!
A wonderful piece of writing. It brought tears to my eyes. Your Grandmother would be very proud! I am currently reading “Indonesia: Land of Challenge,” and “Every Day a Prayer.” We are blessed to be surrounded by so many inspirational people in our lives. The peace walk reminds me that all of our jouneys begin with that first step. Its also good to see Pete starting a new healthy family tradition – to chuck a muffin instead of eating it! See you soon.
Love, Chas
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Beth, your capacity to speak with such straightforward kindness, and with unflinching patience is a gift to the rest of us who sometimes sit in traffic and whine about the driver next door or the light that won’t change on our entitled timeline. I bow to your consistent voice and your capacity for holding the beauty and the pain all at once.
Thank you for words that return our hearts to the essential beat of our human condition. Thank you for being a mother of peace for us all. Thank you for calling us to high ground.
A grateful ally,
Celeste
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Dear Chas,
We inherited the inspirational genes and the eating ones. I wish that Peter had given me the idea to chuck muffins years ago! See you soon in Cable. Thanks for your post.
Love you.
Dear Celeste,
I cannot believe that with all you are juggling right now that you could take the time to write me this beautiful note.
Special blessings to you and your family and a virtual covered dish coming your way…and a very real hug.
love, Beth
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In case anyone wants to read Cindy Sheehan’s letter in her online diary, here is the link: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/5/28/12530/1525.
There were as of right now more than 1300 comments to her. All that I saw were words of thanks to Cindy for her work. Re-reading your letter, Beth, after reading hers – all the more poignant.
I doubt Peter would have a chance to read this from Iraq, but if you do, Peter: thank you. Both you and your brother.
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Beth: I am just getting to the page after a day on the road. How powerful to pull up your piece. When I arrived here in Georgia, my uncle was watching a documentary on Vietnam and we started talking about Iraq. The one thing we all agreed on is what you quoted from Thich Nhat Hanh – “there are many wrong perceptions on both sides. And we need to look at our own daily practices.”
Thich Nhat Hanh also said that “collective awakening can help us to solve the difficult problems in our world like war and global warming.” Your piece has joined the forces of collective awakening.
I am grateful to all the women and men like your sons who are showing up and taking a stand for what they believe in. If there were more people like that, the world would be a very different place to live.
Your letter writing practice over the last year has awakened me to the power of the letter, an almost forgotten art form. And I love your postcard practice. Tonight I was moved by your open letter to Cindy. And the photograph brought home the personal even more. Thanks so much for posting with us. You inspire me.
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Beth, thank you for continuing to write in all circumstances, and for your courage in pouring your heart out on the page.
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Such wonderful comments. So befitting of Beth. Thanks ybonesy, for remembering Beth’s sons in the military and especially, Pete, who is on the front lines. I do hope they read this and know that many, many people who have never met them, pray for them every damn day. The spirit of Psalm 27 be with them both. Be strong and let your hearts take courage.
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Beth
The roads to freedom and peace are not easy. It takes people like you and Pete and Andy to get us there. Don’t know about Thich Nhat Hanh and think massive peacewalks mostly for the walkers. Chucking muffins in your backyard however are things we can all do with positive consequence. Keep writing and letting people know that it is ok to stand up and stand in. Resolve and courage are needed.
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This morning, three, unplanted pots of Siberian Iris sit on the patio. I’d no idea where to plant them, or why I’d bought them(We didn’t need them!) except that they’d reminded me of all the Siberian iris left behind at our house in Peoria–transplanted from my parents’ house.
Today, in the spirit of your lovely letter to Cindy Sheehan, I’ll find a sunny place and plant one for Pete, one for Andy, and one for peace.
Your writings are to be cherished, Beth. Thank you.
(Lol… Chas…eating muffins instead of “chucking” them.
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ybonesy–
Thank you for including the link to Cindy Sheehan’s letter and for your thoughts for my sons.
QuoinMonkey–
All gratitude to you. You first asked me to write for red Ravine and suggested that I could write a letter. All the writing practices I did for a week were not letters. But, then Cindy wrote one, and I knew that I would, too.
Thich Nhat Hanh is a teacher who “walks the talk.” It is a very unique opportunity to study and practice with him and I hope that many people will take the opportunity to hear him this year in the U.S. He is over 80 now, and a treasure to the world.
Thank you for your encouragement. Every writer should be so lucky to have a friend at their back saying, “I believe in you! Thanks for being that kind of friend.
Sharonimo–
Thanks for the scripture and the prayers. Pete told us from the very beginning that he felt that he is being watched over…and he is…there is power to those prayers.
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Sometimes it is hard to for me to remember, as I am wrapped up in my daily tasks, that peace does begin in the moment to moment practice of being peaceful in those mundane tasks. Thanks for your reminder that we each make a difference just where we are.
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Beth: Thanks for an enlightening letter, and a reminder that we all are peace promoters through our daily actions. If we give our energies to creating peace in our surroundings, who knows what the reverberations of that will be?
Your letter started me off this morning and I am using the filter of “how I create peace in my life” to examine my day. This is how I honor your letter, your message.
I hadn’t heard about Peter’s injuries – hard news for a mother’s heart and I offer my prayers for his safety.
My family had an early birthday party last night for my nephew-in-law who is headed to Afganistan. His 18-month-old son is in my care today, and he’s going to miss his daddy fiercely. We who are home have our roles to play, and I will “stand” with this soldier and this soldier’s family, regardless of how I feel personally about the conflict, while I visualize a world without this kind of separation.
with gratitude,
Lynn
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Beth,
Your line “I started with myself, my family, and my community,” jumped off the page at me. Like so many, I feel a constant sense of anger and helplessness about the direction our country is going. I despair that there is anything I can do. What can I do? I’m just one person with no power. And yet, I can start with myself, my family, and my community. After a very exasperating week with both myself and my family, you’ve given me a reminder of where I can begin. Where I can begin and make a difference. Thanks.
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Dearest Beth,
I am chucking a muffin your way with this:
We are all still walking with you, as you are with us, and we are with each other. From Eastern Sharonimo to Western Neola. From Northern Joanne to Southern Celeste. From over the Rockies, you can still hear our voices:
“Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream.”
With my love and a deep bow to your beautiful letter and beautiful being,
Joanne
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Beth,
You walk in beauty.
Sharing the muffin recipes,
Randy
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Yes, dear zendo writing buddies,
I can still hear your voices. They sing in my heart always. Thank you for taking the time to read and respond today.
I am deeply grateful for your words and support.
Joanne, that may be the tastiest muffin I’ve ever had…
My love to you all
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Thanks, Johanna–for the iris. I will think of you now as I watch them blooming in my own garden. I deeply appreciate the planting/garden story of your parents and Peoria and the photo you sent today via my regular e-mail. Pete instant messaged moments ago and I told him about you finding a marble in the hole you’d dug for the iris for peace. Keep that lucky peace marble near and keep writing.
love, Beth
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PSH–
You don’t even like muffins, but you sure know how to chuck them! No one that I know of has done more in the backyard of the community than you have and you faithfully serve so many, so well, while keeping an eye on the horizon for the next opportunity to make a difference. I’ve learned almost everything that I know about courage and loyalty from you and our sons…and after 30 years…that’s a lot of loyalty. Please, accept my deepest gratitude & boundless love.
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Miranda–
FINALLY. a recipe that I can share with you…since many of my favorites are yours. It all began with your wonderful bread recipes, then years of Howard family favorites followed. The taste of love comes from the recipes in the Howard family cookbooks.
You are a outstanding and generous cook. Thanks for your comment and for sharing the muffin recipe.
Beth
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Dear Lynn,
Peter wrote in an instant message today:
“family will always continue to be the most important thing. I wish people wouldn’t lose sight of that.”
Another time, he wrote on myspace,
“I would encourage you to spread peace in the world by example, by taking care of and loving your family and friends…”
I stand in the larger circle of families, united with yours, praying for your nephew-in-law and for all our sons and daughters to be reunited with their children, parents and loved ones…as soon as possible.
Thank you for taking the time to read and write a comment.
Hope to see you soon,
Beth
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I’ll never see another muffin without thinking of Peace. Blessings to you and your sons. The world is a better place for your example.
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Dear Ritergal,
Thank you. My friend, Sharonimo, asked me to make up t-shirts with a picture of Pete and the words “Chuck a Muffin.” In her words, “You can’t make this stuff up.”
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I know, I know. I cry at the drop of a hat or the chuck of a muffin. I just sat here and re-read Beth’s original piece/peace and then these streams of comments. How wonderful to hear from Celeste and Teri and Neola and Joanna (I love being reminded of the exquisite “Row, row, row, your boat” moment) — and maybe there are other zendo beloveds writing under a pseudonym — but even the comments from folks I don’t know make my heart feel full and at peace. Beth, Beth, Beth. Blessed are you, a peacemaker. Love!
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As a child I would wish on a star and frequently my wish was for peace on earth good will towards everything. In my heart I always believed my wish was granted but that people didn’t realize they were in a moment of peace and went back to disliking everything. I still make frequent wishes for peace and good will, I still believe it comes true, and I believe that someday the peace will begin to last longer and longer. Thank you Beth for reminding of what I was wishing for.
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Oh, Paulette–
You do not just wish it — you LIVE and move through the world in peace, as an example that peace is possible, in this very moment. Thanks for that and for your comment.
love, Beth
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Beth & Paul,
I feel so blessed to have you both in our community… Wise, thought provoking and giving in both your wealth and wisdom. May your two blue stars stay blue.
All will be well…
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Beth,
How gracefully you put emotions to words. Please know that Lucy and I think of your family each day. Much love to you all.
Keep the faith,
Ron
(PS. Count on us for a dozen “Chuck a Muffin” t-shirts.)
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Beth,
You have a very old & beautiful soul. And a wonderful loving family and friends. Thank you for sharing.
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Judy (way up on #17): You are one of the very best at being present for the task at hand and in bringing peace to every gathering. I have enjoyed every opportunity to work and play with you!
Ron: Thanks for the comment, the prayers and for the order for “Chuck a Muffin” t-shirts! I know that you’ve learned up-close and personal about keeping the faith. I will take your advice. Your recent report to us was the BEST news. I think it is time for a reunion to celebrate!
Jean: How good it is to hear your e-voice! I’m happy that Ron & Lucy passed the link on and that you took the time to read and comment. You are right, I do have a wonderful, loving family and friends, but one very lovely gift of this post is that many of the kind comments here are from people that I do not know. That’s how peace works, I think. Be well and say hello to Don for me. Please remind him that I still remember his advice to my son, Sam: “A boy who likes rocks will never be lonely” (and he gave him one, of course!)
My love to you all,
Beth
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ybonesy: I wanted to let you know that I sent the link to Peter and he DID read red Ravine in Iraq. He liked the letter and he is grateful for the prayers and support. I am too. Deepest thanks.
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Beth, the kitchen of your heart is warm and full. You and these responses are a testament to the ways in which warmth spreads from each interaction, be it written, spoken, or simply a fleeting thought or intention. Your words of support and encouragement to Cindy as she redirects her energy are an inspriration to any who will read them. Your daily acts of kindness plant seeds that produce flowers that propegate seeds that are blown by the Wyoming wind across countries and oceans. Blessings to all who wake up each day to gather the ingredients for yet another batch of muffins and to those who “chuck em” to those reaching to be seen and fed! You inspire me! Lea
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Beth,
My husband and I just returned from Scottsdale, AZ where we delivered artwork to his new gallery. After spending a week in Capitalism Central where life seems to revolve around shopping, golf, cars, cosmetic surgery, acquisition of huge sums of money; where the women are slim and the men aren’t bald, we returned home to Taos late last night and breathed a sigh of relief.
While there, we visited Cosanti again – the home of Paolo Soleri (88 yrs old this month), his windbells, and his belief in peace, ecology, and community. His original arcology vision is (very) slowly manifesting in Arcosanti 65 miles north of Phoenix where, since 1970, he has been trying to combine architecture and ecology “to produce new urban habitats”.
His home (and bell factory) is pretty rustic by Scottsdale standards. All around the property huge “villas” have encroached – with sprinkler systems, trees, lush foliage, fountains. This is the Sonoran desert folks! Soleri must feel so disappointed and sad over what has become of a once beautiful natural desert, but he continues on with his vision, plays Mozart loud and let’s it flow over the manufactured perfection of his neighborhood.
I take as my role models, Paolo Soleri and Beth Howard. As I mentioned once before to you, if you ever decide to march, protest, or in any other way make a fuss, I’ll be standing right next to you. Meanwhile, I will pull the thick array of weeds that are 2 feet high from all the wonderful rain we’ve gotten here in northern NM and plan to volunteer next week at the little church that consistently feeds the hungry in Taos without much fanfare or publicity.
XO Lorraine
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Dear Lea: You were “chucking muffins” LONG before the concept was printed in this post….which surely makes you one of the foremothers of muffin-chucking. Thank you for everything that you do for others and for your very beautiful words. There is always a chair for you in the kitchen of my heart. See you soon.
Welcome Home, Lorraine. Taos weather continues to follow Wyoming’s, as it did during the intensive last year (though I know that Taos got more rain than we did last August.) Things are lovely and green here. Plants, weeds and people are happy with a full-blooming spring.
Thank you for telling me about Paolo Soleri. I wonder if I am one of few that has not heard of him before. I appreciate that you took time to write about your visit to Scottsdale. Can anyone visit Cosanti? I am so curious about the bell factory. I would love to hear the windbells.
I am deeply grateful for your offer to continue standing right next to me. Much Love, Beth
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Beth
Thank you for sharing your letter and this blog. I am moved by your words and to think of Peter relating kindly and sharing food with Iraqui children. I know that some might think of this as trivial but it is indeed an important step to making peace. It reminds me how kindness seems to keep on giving in what ever small but important way it shows its gentle face.
Here is one example passed down from one generation above in my own life
My mother grew up in the hostile environment of Nazi and then in occupied Germany. I once found some letters that she had written during her youth. Most of her letters focused on the food that she was given by US soldiers and also by food drops. When I asked her about that time, she remembered one soldiers who shared his chocolate rations and how once they had each been given one orange. She made hers last for one week by eating a section a day.
Chucking muffins, oranges, bits of chocolate, a game of basketball, yoga stretches, or what ever kindness we have available.
I would like to send Peter granola bars.
Love,
Viviane
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Thank you, Viviane, for sharing your beautiful story. You have taught me many things about kindness and now added one new lesson with this story from WWII.
My father was a soldier in WWII. He was shot in the arm and held as a prisoner of war. He remembers a guard walking down the hall to his cell. He was fearful, but the guard stood in front of the bars and offered him a piece of gum. You are right, “whatever kindness we have available.” Sometimes the small things are big — the memory of that kindness lasts a lifetime.
love & a deep bow,
Beth
Happy Continuation Day, dear friend (a couple days late…)
I wish you a year filled with extraordinary blessings and joy.
Hope to see you soon,
Beth
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I also appreciate hearing about Viviane’s mother’s memory. Again, it reminds me of the individual lives affected by the war.
And I have to vent, if you don’t mind, on something kind of related. This past Saturday’s Albuquerque Journal dedicated 3/4 of the front page to an article that picked apart Governor Richardson’s telling of a punchline regarding Bush and diplomacy. I think the intent of the story was to show inconsistencies with Richardson’s joke (and, therefore, conclude that Richardson flip-flops), but I couldn’t believe the main Alb newspaper would devote most of the front page to a joke and ZERO to the war in Iraq.
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Vent away…
Politics is often filled with the energy of war. Sometimes, I am left with the SAME feeling, whether reading about politics or the war. My newspaper reading has become much more detached and selective.
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Beth – Your calm and peaceful spirit reaches far beyond your garden and your yoga class. Thank you for sharing.
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aminwy: Thanks. I will always remember and never forget your kindness in raising both volunteers and funds to send the amazing handmade Christmas stockings, filled with great stuff, to Peter and his unit last year. Many blessings to you & please, get well soon.
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A beautiful letter. I have two teenage sons, and I often think about the sacrifice of human life occurring everyday, and what I can do to bring about peace. I love your image of throwing peace muffins out at the world. Your son seems like a sweet guy. Peace to you and your family.
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Thanks for the muffin, Beth. I hope Cindy reads your letter. It is filled with compassion and understanding that only the mother of a soldier could probably articulate. We don’t all agree with Cindy’s tactics, yet we can understand her emotions and what drives her, but certainly not as much as someone from your experience. Well done, Beth.
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Christine: Blessings to you and your sons. The pictures of young dead soldiers printed in the newspaper are usually the ones taken after boot camp. They look just like the photos of my sons that sit on my piano. It is heart- breaking to see them in print. Thank you for your kindness.
Tina: Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Best wishes with your soon- to-be-released book. Thanks for your cheerful good-nature and for all that you do in our community.
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Want you to know I’m reading and watching and hoping and singing a song of peace right beside you. Your piece is memorable for its clarity and its heartfelt belief in human kindness even in the face of such chaos. And I know you live what you believe. I continue to pray for Pete and Andy and all those with them. Thank you, Beth.
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Oh, dear Kate:
I can hear your song in my heart. I am so grateful for your kindness, prayers and support. I am truly blessed by your friendship. Deepest thanks.
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Beth,
Thank you so much for sharing this. As someone who watches you walk the walk every Sunday I, too, admire your ability to get through each day. I spent quite a while watching my mother agonize over my brother as he served his tour of duty in Viet Nam. It was a very stressful time for a child of 7 years of age. I know how much it affected me. And, to have two sons in peril is something I shudder to think.
I spent Memorial Day with my mother and the brother who served in Viet Nam. My mother’s neighbor lost her son in Iraq a little over a year ago. My mother’s words to her were the same as your words to Cindy Sheehan “I was one of the lucky ones”. My mother is 86 years old. She still sees herself as “one of the lucky ones” .
Your courage and ability to sing Holly Near and other songs of peace amaze me. May you continue to walk in peace and know that I am behind you somewhere in the crowd that follows you.
May I “chuck a cinnamon roll” ?
Namaste,
Luanne
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Luanne: Thank you for your kindness. There is noone from any nation that would refuse your organic whole wheat cinnamon rolls. I’m sure that they are delicious not because of the particular ingredients you use, but because of the love and care you bake into them.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am so glad that your family was among the “lucky ones” during the Viet Nam era. My husband, Paul’s, family was also. I have heard that it was excruciating for his mother when his brother, Peter, was wounded and hospitalized. Paul was young then, too, as you were. It was hard for his 90-year-old mother to hear recently that her grandson, also Peter, was wounded in Iraq.
I am very sorry to hear that your mother’s neighbor had a son killed in Iraq. It is heart-breaking news, always.
Paul read to me today the dedication in the book, “Flags of our Fathers” by James Bradley. It says:
“DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF
Belle Block, Kathryn Bradley, Irene Gagnon, Nancy Hayes, Goldie Price, Martha Strank, and all mothers who sent their boys to war.”
___________________
“Mothers should negotiate between nations.
The mothers of the fighting countries would agree:
Stop this killing now. Stop it now.”
–Yoshikuni Taki
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Perhaps the wives of the fighting countries might agree as well. When I was in Georgia the last week doing research for a memoir, I was fortunate to be able to reconnect with one of my favorite aunts after 35 years. She was only a teenager and 8 months pregnant when her husband was killed in Vietnam. I was a young girl at the time, she was my favorite aunt, and the event greatly impacted me and my family.
When we talked a few days ago after all those years, I told her I had once done a rubbing of his name at the Vietnam Memorial in D.C. and that I had never forgotten him. She was very touched and told me her experience visiting a memorial with her son, my cousin, who never got to meet his father.
So many families have a story to tell. Eventually, we are all affected by war. I am thankful there are avenues for connection.
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I like being reminded of rubbing the name of a beloved first thing in the morning. Thank you, QM.
Every time I visit the Vietnam Memorial, people of all ages are doing a rubbing of someone’s name; sometimes on the shoulders of a beloved who is is not able to reach it otherwise. The poignancy is palatable. They rub the names so tenderly and respectfully — like watching the changing of the guard at Arlington Cemetary.
About a month after 9/11, I read an op-ed by a therapist who said that the death of one person usually has a direct impact on about 1,000 people — immediate and distant family members, neighbors, colleagues, community connections, etc. The writer thought that at least 3 million people were directly impacted by those attacks. Of course, the rest of us were impacted, too.
I, too, am sorry that Luanne’s mother’s neighbor lost a son to the war and now its rippling effect is touching us. I can’t help but think of how the 30,000+ civilian deaths are impacting Iraq; indeed, the entire Middle East.
When I read The Greatest Generation, I copied down that quote by Yoshikuni Taki into my journal. Thank God for mothers (and you, breathepeace, for reminding me about that quote) Mothers give birth and know in ways I never will (never having given birth) how precious life is. “When peace comes,” wrote Golda Meir, “we will perhaps in time be able to forgive the Arabs for killing our sons, but it will be harder for us to forgive them for having forced us to kill their sons.”
Words like Meir’s are hard to read. But art — writing — transcends war. War is the barking of men. Art is the language of God. Think about that. Every time an artist lifts a paintbrush to a canvas or a writer puts a pen to a page — or rubs a name on the Vietnam Memorial — she or he is doing something more powerful than war. It is a form of peace-making. Peace is not a passive, but an active condition, not a negation, but an affirmation. It is a gesture as strong as war. Thanks again, breathepeace, for writing to Cindy and reminding us how powerful we all are.
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QuoinMonkey: Yes, mothers, wives, daughters and sisters, like Luanne. In the introduction to her book, “Urgent Message from Mother — Gather the women, Save the World,” Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. writes,
“It is time to ‘gather the women’ — for only when women are STRONG TOGETHER can women be fiercely protective of what we love. Only then, will children be safe and peace a real possibility.”
Thank you for sharing your story, QM, for this gathering must be across all generations to include the grandmothers and great-grandmothers, also.
Sharonimo: Your post is rich — a mini essay on its own.
Thank you for including the quote by Golda Meir. It reminds me that my friend spoke in Joys & Concerns at church, saying how her Army Guard husband had changed since he’d served for a year in Iraq. His change impacted the whole family. It is not just the families of the dead who are forever changed. It is also the families of all the living soldiers on both sides, who survive the killing.
Golda saw this and yes, wrote about it. Peace work must not just be left to the politicians and soldiers. It is a responsibility for all of us.
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Dear Beth,
What a beautiful letter! Thanks for sharing it, and I love reading all the comments. They’ve brought tears to my eyes. Your son renews my faith in our young people and in our military. I must confess that I fall into the bad habit of stereotyping all our soldiers. Peter’s words for peace and his muffin-chucking practice give me a whole new perspective, one that I can actually believe — beyond the media whitewashing. I will hold him and all his colleagues in my prayers.
And you also! Dharma teacher Peggy Rowe once told me that as students of Thich Nhat Hanh’s, trying to embody love and live peace in every moment, we walk a very difficult path. You do it better than most and you have always been an inspiration to me.
Keep writing, dear sister, and sharing the fruits of your practice with the world. I will do my best to make space for your letter in the next issue of the Mindfulness Bell. May all beings be free, may all beings live in peace, may all beings have muffins.
love,
Janelle Combelic
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Dear Janelle: Your note feels just like a hug. Thank you!
The Mindfulness Bell magazine and Barbara, the editor before you, were the first to really encourage and support me as a writer. With your continued support, I have learned that writing practice IS peace practice, also.
Janelle, you have taught me a lot about courage and love. You are very brave in listening to your heart and following it’s clear directions. Thank you for your whole-hearted effort to produce a beautiful, meaningful magazine and for providing support to others, like me, to share our practice.
With a deep bow & my love,
Beth
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Dear Beth,
I never see a muffin but what I think of you & yours. You are all in my prayers – may there be a safe & soon return.
Love.
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[…] Might we be able to stand in compassion and be ready to listen when veterans are ready to speak? Veterans have learned a lot about war and suffering and if we work together to transform those seeds, there may be a little more peace for us all. Beth Bro Howard is a writer and yoga teacher in Wyoming. Her son Peter returned from Iraq on Friday, October 19, 2007, after a year-long deployment. -Related to post Wishing You A Peaceful Heart – An Open Letter To Cindy Sheehan. […]
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[…] Wishing You A Peaceful Heart – An Open Letter To Cindy Sheehan by Beth Bro Howard […]
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